what's the point of living when people only appreciate you when you are gone?
the girl sat at the edge, her legs dangling freely as she took in the beautiful view in front of her.
sighing, she took out the crumpled note in her pocket, re-reading it again.
she had wrote it for her boyfriend, jaebeom, and was planning to have him read it when she..
when she was gone.
she was tired of living.
she had no need to live anyways.
the boy who she truly loved and still loves,
well, she hadn't seen him for days.
everytime she would try to arrange a day for them to meet, he would just decline, saying he was busy.
but she questioned in her mind if he was really busy or maybe,
he was cheating on her,
with that young girl she often saw him with.
she went a bit crazy,
as days went by,
and they stopped meeting up,
and she kept making herself think that he was with that other girl.
sometimes to relieve stress, she would claw at herself; dig her nails deep into her own skin until it bled painfully.
she gave up on trying to meet him, instead, she texted him, called him everyday, asking him about work or how he's doing.
at first, everything went well, with just online communication. but after awhile he stopped answering her texts and never picked up her calls.
even if he answered, it would just be a mere "hi", or "i need to go now".
he didn't even answer her questions directly.
so one day, she decided to confront him about it, by stomping bravely all the way up his doorstep in the middle of a thunderstorm.
flashback
the girl ran towards the apartment, covering her head with her hands to prevent the rain from drenching her but to no avail.
she heaved a sigh of relief as she got under shelter, knocking on the door three hard times, she waited until she heard noise from the inside of the apartment.
"what is it?" the tired boy snapped, but upon noticing it was his girlfriend, who was completely soaked to the core, his face soften and he asked again, "(y/n)? why are you here now?"
"i-i wanted to check up on you.. you haven't really been replying my text messages and i decided to run down here." she mumbled, feeling sheepish.
the boy rolled his eyes and replied harshly, "how many times do i have to tell you, i'm really busy and i have absolute no time to entertain your texts or calls!"
stepping backwards in fear, the girl tried to defend herself, "i'm sorry, i was just worried and-"
"stop being such a clingy girlfriend! no matter how important you are to me, work will always come first. " jaebeom shouted, causing her to wince slightly.
"i-i-" she stuttered, tears brimming in her eyes.
turning around swiftly, the girl left.
end of flashback
smoothing out the folds on the paper, she felt tears rolling down her cheeks.
as much as she wanted to die, she was too cowardly to do it.
to just jump off,
end this life and start anew.
she remembered how she would just lock herself in her own apartment after her confrontation with jaebeom.
at first, he texted her multiple of times, apologising to her and asking if she was okay.
but after a week, he gave up and completely stopped.
one day, she was scrolling through instagram, and she found a picture of jaebeom and a girl, who looked slightly younger than herself.
they were at an amusement park, smiling happily.
jealousy overwhelmed her and she became paranoid that maybe, jaebeom wasn't busy with work, he was busy cheating on her.
and over time, the paranoia made her go crazy.
sleepless nights, thinking about jaebeom.
and everything leaded her to this.
the only person who knew about her problem, was her brother, mark.
she confided in him and made him promise not to tell anyone.
but even her brother didn't know about what she had planned to do.
sighing, the girl stood up, steadying herself, she let her tears flow freely as she took another hesitant step closer to her death.
when suddenly,
"(y/n)?" a voice called out.
jaebeom..
why was he here?
how did he know..
turning, she saw jaebeom standing there, his eyes red, as if he had just cried.
"(y/n) no, don't do it." jaebeom whispered, carefully making his way closer to her.
she was terrified.
unknowingly, she took a step back and shrieked when she felt herself being pulled downwards.
reaching out, she grabbed onto the ledge, hanging on for dear life.
"(y/n)!" she heard jaebeom shout.
she could feel her hands slipping, and just when she was about to let go, a hand grabbed onto hers.
"hold on tight. please.." jaebeom begged as he used all his strength to pull her up.
the boy successfully managed to pull the girl over the ledge and both of them tumbled to the floor.
"(y/n), why did you do that?" the boy mumbled, pulling her into his arms.
"how did you know-" she stuttered as she let him hold her in his arms.
she truly missed the feeling.
"your brother." he replied.
the girl cursed her brother internally.
"don't you ever do this to me again. hear that?" jaebeom scolded sternly, but she could feel his tears soaking her sleeve.
"weren't you the one who left me?" the girl questioned.
he pulled away from her and looked into her eyes.
"i'm sorry okay, if its because of that day, i wasn't in a good mood and i didn't mean to chase you away. and whatever i said was not true, you mean everything to me (y/n).." he whispered, pulling her close again.
"who's the girl? the one you are always with on instagram." she asked, her voice getting higher-pitched at every letter.
"that girl? she's just my cousin who recently came back to korea. i told you about her before. if you thought she was something more than that, you're an idiot." jaebeom replied.
"but- but besides that you have been keeping me in the dark, you don't text or call me. and you do know we live one hour away from each other right." the girl mumbled.
"i'm sorry.. there's just so many things going on around me and- and i really love you, so please give me another chance." jaebeom whispered, taking her hands in his.
the girl sighed and she decided to put her trust in him.
