Casual Affair [Ryden]

Chapter 7

This may be triggering guys. X

Ryan

I grab my clothes and run towards my room. I close and lock my door. I drop my clothes and walk immediately towards my own little bathroom. I turn on the shower and step under the hot water. Then I start to cry. I sit down and cry my heart out. My dad raped me... again... my body hurts so much from his strong grip... and I feel so fucking dirty...

I look at the sharp little razorblade. I always cut myself in the shower, so I always have one ready. I pick it up and look at the sharp edge. It shines a little in this light...

I press the razor blade against the skin on my arm and slice it through my skin. I sharply inhale some breath and let it out shakily. It hurts... it really hurts... I see the blood well up and smile. It calms me down. The pain... the blood... it is so reassuring for me. It makes me feel like I can handle everything my dad has done to me.

I make another cut. This one on my thigh. It's a counting system for me... I count the times my dad raped me. Well... there are a lot of cuts there... soon I will have to start on my other thigh too...

I put the razorblade away. Normally I make more cuts, but I don't have any energy left...

I wash myself and turn off the shower, dry myself and then dress. I crawl into my bed and take out my phone.

Hi Brendon... Ryro here... please tell me something funny... I feel like crap... xx

Hey Ry. What happened?  You want to talk about it? I just walked into the kitchen to get some chocolate milk but I bumped into the fridge... it was so damn stupid XD xx Bren

Don't want to talk about it. Sorry :( haha wow... how did you do that?? XD xx Ry

That's okay Ry. Just worried about you <3 I don't know!!! I just walked into the kitchen. My mother forgot to close the fridge and somehow I didn't see it and walked against it XD xx

We keep texting for a little while and it actually makes me feel better. Brendon distracted me without asking any questions. I'm so grateful for that...

I tell Brendon that I have to go, and I thank him for the second time for having time to distract me. Then I get out of my bed and climb out of my window. I walk to the closest snackbar and order a hamburger. No way I want to eat with my dad tonight....