Casual Affair [Ryden]

Chapter 16

Ryan

I look at the supermarket nervously, and then I turn my head to look at Brendon. He smiles at me reassuringly and squeezes my hand.

"Come on sweetheart. I'm right here next to you. You'll be fine. Danielle can't do all your groceries for the rest of your life! I'll protect you from angry bananas." he smirks. I glare at me and punch his shoulder before I chuckle.

"Yes. Like you're strong enough to protect me from angry bananas..." I laugh and Brendon frowns at me.

"You think I'm not strong enough?" he says and I nod. Brendon sighs and raises his arm, to show off his muscles. "Look! There are so many muscles! I'm a fucking bodybuilder!" Brendon says proudly. I laugh and poke his upper arm.

"Sorry Brendon. I don't see and I don't feel any muscles up there. You should work out a little more if you want to become a bodybuilder." I grin. Brendon pouts and then he grins back. He nods towards the supermarket.

"Ready?" he asks me and I nod. I take a deep breath and try to ignore the horrible feeling in my stomach. It's going to be fine. Brendon is here with me. The chance something will happen is very small... Brendon starts to walk and I follow him, getting more and more nervous with every step closer to the entrance. Brendon sees it, but knows I'll have to get past this fear. So he just keeps walking and I keep following him. Three more steps... Two more steps... One more step.

And I'm inside.

I look at all the people. They're just chatting happily or debating what they are going to eat. I look for any hint of something bad, but it isn't there. I relax and smile to Brendon.

"So. What are we going to eat tonight?" I ask him and he shrugs.

"Do you like lasagne?" he asks and I nod. He smiles and seems to hesitate. Then he kisses my forehead and I take a deep breath. I like the feeling of Brendon's lips against my skin, but it still makes me uncomfortable. Like it's a sin to like it. I mean, I swore to myself to never let a male kiss or touch me again. I swore that I wouldn't become like my dad. That I would never think of him again. But everytime Brendon touches me, I have a one-second flashback to my dad. And I hate it. I want to enjoy Brendon without thinking of that horrible man. I guess that's just impossible...

Brendon starts to pick out the ingredients for the lasagne, and I follow him like a lost puppy. The supermarket is huge. I haven't been in one for six years. Well. It's weird. There are so many noises. So many people. So many of everything. I wasn't joking when I said I was following Brendon like a lost puppy. I have no idea where we are right now.

I am just about to ask Brendon if he likes lasagne with chicken or something else than that, when someone bumps into me and I fall onto the floor. For a moment I just sit there, my eyes squeezed shut in shock, but then I take a deep breath and I look up.

No.

Way.

The man above me grins at me and chuckles. He trails his eyes over my body and licks his lips. I try to crawl away, but there are too many people, and I can't move. Oh God... Oh God...

"Brendon! Brendon!" I scream and I start to panic. The man above me. His eyes.

"Hello son." he smirks. I scream as loud as I can and still try to crawl my way back. Away from him. Somehow the distance between me and my dad just doesn't change. It's even worse than that. He comes closer...

"BRENDON! BRENDON HELP ME!" I scream, and suddenly he is there, between me in my dad. He pushes my dad so angrily that my dad falls down onto the floor.

"YOU FUCKING STAY AWAY FROM RYAN, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME! HE'S HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR FUCKED UP MIND! HOW COULD YOU?! HOW COULD YOU DO ALL THOSE THINGS TO YOUR OWN SON?!" Brendon screams. People stop whatever they were doing. They look at Brendon, then at my dad, and then at me. I just want to crawl away from their gazes. I can't stay here anymore. I stand up and run past Brendon and my dad. Away. Away... Away... Away...

"Ryan! Ryan wait!" I hear Brendon's voice after me and I hear his footsteps, but I don't stop running. I can't stop running, or my dad will get me. He'll lock me up in his basement like he used to when I was particulary bad... He'll get those afwul whips and make my body bleed. That can't happen again...

I finally find my way out of the supermarket and run towards my car. I need to get away from here... As soon as possible. Oh God... Brendon has the keys... No... NO! NO!

I drop down on my knees and scream. I scream my heart out. Brendon reaches me and kneels besides me. He pulls me against his chest and slowly rocks me back and forth. He strokes my back and keeps telling me I'm safe. That the security guys got my dad. That Brendon will protect me. But I just don't believe it. He'll lock me up... He'll break me... He'll kill me... No...

"Ryan! RYAN LOOK AT ME!" Brendon screams. I shake my head and squeeze my eyes shut. I cling onto him desperately. If he lets go of me, I'll be lost.

"D-Don't... don't let go... Don't let go of me..." I stutter.

"I won't Ry. I'll hold you. I promise." he whispers in my ear. I nod and press my face against his chest with more force. How could this happen? My dad doesn't live here? Does he? Oh God he must have followed me to this city. Oh my fucking God.

"B-Brendon... Please take me home... Everyone is staring and they think I'm a freak and... and..." I stutter and tear up again. Brendon nods and strokes my hair.

"I'll get you home okay?" he whispers and I nod. He helps me to stand up, and then he lays me down at the backseats of the car and puts a blanket over me. He strokes my hair one more time and then he closes the backseat doors and gets in the drivers' seat to get us home. I close my eyes and bite my lips. I don't want this anymore...