Casual Affair [Ryden]

Chapter 11

Three weeks later

Ryan

I'm in English class. Brendon sits next to me. He is clicking his pen and it's making me incredibly nervous, but I don't want to hold him back from doing whatever he feels the need to, so I don't say a thing.

The last couple of weeks... I... I started to... I don't know. I don't know what to call it but, Brendon is just really attractive. It's so confusing... I've been through a lot but this is one of the most confusing things. I used to hate gay people. Not because I think love is just for a men and a women, but because of my dad. But Brendon is so different. He cares about me so much, but he never pushes me. With nothing. Everything I do is fine with him. I trust him... I trust him with whole my heart... and I like him. No, I don't love him. It's just... ugh... I really don't know... maybe I should talk about it to Danielle...

Yes, I started to open up about my life. I've told her about my mom, my youth, the abuse, the self-harm... no I haven't told her about the sexual abuse yet, but I think I'll tell her soon. It's nice to talk to someone who doesn't have a clue who it is you're talking about. Someone who just listens, and doesn't judge you. I don't feel ashamed when I'm around her.

"Mr. Ross? I'm sure your daydream is interesting but could you please answer my question?" the teacher interrupts my thoughts. I stare at her. Then I look away and blush.

"S-sorry what did you ask?"

I answer the question and the teacher leaves me alone again. Brendon gives me a concerned look.

"Are you okay?" He whispers and I nod.

"Just thinking about what I want to talk to Danielle about tomorrow." I say. I can see Brendon is curious, that he wants to hear my story as well, but he nods and gives me an encouraging smile, without further questions.

~Time lapse~

Spencer is so excited about something. He gathered Brendon, Jon and me around and practically jumps through the room.

"Okay Spence, what's going on?" Jon asks curiously. Spencer chuckles and raises his hands in thr air dramatically.

"What if... we start a band!?"

Silence.

"A band?" Brendon asks then. Spencer nods.

"Think about it! I'm a good drummer, Jon is a good bassist, Brendon you have an amazing voice and Ryan is an awesome guitarist! It would be so perfect!"

I bite my lips. Do I want this? I have no idea... the thought of people staring at me freaks me out... but maybe... maybe it's good for me. Maybe I'll get less anxious... I should talk about this with Danielle.

"Spencer? I like your idea but, let me think about it for two days okay?" I say then. Spencer claps his hands and hugs me. I tense but try to get over that feeling immediately. Spencer is a good guy.

"Thank you Ryan! Thank you!" He smiles happily. Brendon and Jon agree with me.

A band... well, I don't think we'll ever become very famous anyway... so I might try it out...