Casual Affair [Ryden]

Chapter 20

Ryan

No.

No this isn't going to end well...

Everything will go wrong, just like last time...

"Come on Ryan. We need to do this! If we don't go to the police, your father will be out there. If we do go to the police, they can arrest him. They can do something about it! They can-"

"NO BRENDON! JUST NO!" I scream and I push him away from me. I immediately feel guilty and I drop onto my knees.

"I-I'm sorry Brendon. But I can't. I don't want to tell my story again... Everytime I have to tell it, I feel bad for a couple of days. Really, really bad. And besides that, I don't have any proof of what my father did. Nothing. The police can't do anything about that... Brendon. I just want to move on. I can't if shit like this keeps happening..." I whisper quietly. Brendon sighs, kneels down next to me and takes my hand.

"I understand Ry... I just wish I could do something for you..." Brendon whispers sadly.

"Brendon. You've done so much for me already! When we met in high school, you were there for me. You always were. You and your parents took me in when I was too scared to return to my own house. In Panic!, you were always there to comfort me. Brendon, really, if you wouldn't have been there, I probably would have killed myself... But because of you, I didn't. Because of you I kept trying... Brendon, I... It was when I got feelings for you, that I couldn't handle it anymore." I say and Brendon smiles towards me.

"But now you can." he says and brings my hand towards his lips and slowly presses his lips against my skin. I bite my lips, and take in a deep breath. I'm still scared, but this feels okay. I can, indeed, handle this. With any other boy I would have freaked out, but this is Brendon. With Brendon I feel safe. I love him.

"Yes... Yes I can..." I whisper and I lean in and press a one-second kiss on Brendon lips. He stares at me startled, and then a huge smile appears in his face.

"Ryan... you don't have to-"

"I know. But I wanted it. Even though I'm scared... but I trust you. You feel safe. I love you..." I whisper. Brendon smiles and wraps his arms around me and holds me close.

"T-Thank you, Ryan... For trusting me like that... I love you too."

~Time Lapse~

"Danielle? Can we talk for a moment please?" I whisper. Danielle looks up at me, and then she nods. We walk towards the kitchen so that we are without Brendon for a moment.

"W-why did you leave my father and me?" I ask and I can already feel the tears flowing into my eyes. Danielle bites her lips and looks at me.

"I... what your father did to you... He always did the same thing to me... He beat me up, he raped me... Sometimes he invited his friends to join him... Then I became pregnant... but Ryan... I am so so sorry I left you alone with that horrible guy... but I needed to get away from him... I truly tried to escape together with you. So when you were born, I said I was going out for groceries. George believed me... I wanted to take you with me, I tried everything! But George kept you at home... he said, that when I'd return, he'd beat me up for being such a whiny bitch... I just didn't have the guts to return after that... I am so sorry..." Danielle says and she wipes away her own tears now. I take a deep breath and then I walk up to her and give her a strong hug. I press my head against her chest and rub her back.

"It's okay, Danielle. I understand. I forgive you..." I whisper and then I give her a smile. "I couldn't have had a better mom than you. Even though you were 'my therapist', and even though I always kept calling you Danielle, I've always looked up on you as if you were my mother. I always thought 'why couldn't she be my mom...' and now you are. So I am so glad we discovered this..." I say and Danielle smiles at me, before pressing her lips against my forehead.

"Thank you. Thank you Ryan. I couldn't have wished for a better son..." she whispers and I bite my lips because my emotions are so overwhelming. But in a good way.

"Danielle?"

"Yeah?"

"I think... Maybe we should move to another place... Far away from here. To start all over again. You, me, and if you're okay with it, Brendon too. We could start over without having the chance to run into my father again... I could... Maybe it helps me too, to get better. What do you think?" I propose. Danielle think about it for a few seconds.

'It would definitely help you, because, as you said, your father won't be there. And I think it is good for all of us. For Brendon, to break with Sarah and start a new life with you. For you to heal, and for you and me, to become mother and son... Ryan, it is a great idea! I really have to go to the grocery store now, because we're running out of food... But after that, we'll see if we can find a nice place for us. Okay?"

"Yes mom."