Casual Affair [Ryden]

Chapter 18

Brendon

Finally, finally, Danielle comes home. She walks into the living room, kicks out her shoes and drops her jacket on the floor. She immediately walks over to Ryan and me and she looks at me questioningly.

"He fell asleep ten minutes ago..." I whisper as quiet as possible. Danielle nods and sighs. She sits next to us and she keeps looking at Ryan.

"Can you... can you tell me exactly what happened? From the moment you two walked into the store?"

"Well... Ryan was really nervous, but I sort of dragged him with me and when we were inside, Ryan relaxed. He really did. He was overwhelmed by the amount of people, but he felt okay. So I started picking the things we needed, and Ryan just followed me. Suddenly he screamed my name, so I turned around, and Ryan sat on the floor, his dad in front of him. I jumped between them to avoid anything even worse, but Ryan just scrambled up and ran outside. I quickly made sure that the security guys from the store had Ryan's dad, and then I followed Ryan. He was completely freaked out. I held him until he calmed down a little, and then I drove us home... He's been... I don't know... I think it sort of broke him..." I whisper. Danielle nods again and then she squeezes her eyes shut.

"Ryan was doing better... After all this time. I've worked so hard to get him better. I even quit my job so I could help Ryan everytime he needed me. It took me years. But finally I saw progress. What if I have to start over again? I don't know if I am strong enough to do the same thing for him again..." Danielle whispers. I take her hand and squeeze it.

"Lets just wait and see how Ryan is when he wakes up, okay? Maybe he isn't too bad... And if he is, I will help you. Together we can help Ryan." I say firmly.

"Brendon... You have no idea how it is to help someone who is so broken..." she whispers. I smile.

"You're right. But I'll find out. And don't think I'm going to leave Ryan. I finally have him back."

"Brendon. I know you love him, but you'll never have a normal relationship with this boy... He is scarred for life. He'll never fully recover. If you want someone with who you can live a happily ever after... It's not Ryan."

"I know Danielle... I know... But he's worth it. Ryan is worth everything..." I whisper and I slowly stroke his hair. Danielle smiles at me and then she nods.

"Okay then. Ryan is lucky to have found someone like you. Really." she whispers. Then Ryan starts to move a little. His eyes flutter open. He yawns and then he looks at me and Danielle. For a moment he smiles, but then he remembers what happened, and his smile fades immediately. He closes his eyes again and reaches for Danielle. I let go of Ryan, and Danielle wraps her arms around him tightly. Ryan clings onto her and presses his face against her chest.

"H-how... Why..." he stutters, clearly confused.

"I don't know Ryan. I don't know. But you're safe now, okay? You're home. I am here. Brendon is here and-"

"Brendon needs to leave..." Ryan whispers. I gasp and look at him in shock. No... NO!

"Why, Ryan?" Danielle asks him softly and gestures me not to talk. So I bite my lips and I try to keep myself from making any kind of noise.

"He can't see me like this. I don't want him to see me like this... He'll leave me if he knows how useless and broken I am..." Ryan whispers, close to crying.

"Ryan... Brendon knows. Brendon knows that you can't act like a normal person. He knows, and he understands. He doesn't care, because he loves you so much. Ryan, I think it's good for both you and Brendon, if you stay together. He can help you when I'm not at home, so you don't have to be alone anymore." Danielle whispers while she rubs her hands over Ryan's back.

"He truly doesn't care that I... That I am afraid of him touching me? That I'm afraid to be too close to him? He doesn't care that I can't even bring myself to give him more than just a kiss on his cheeks?"

"Ask that to himself." Danielle whispers and she turns Ryan around. He looks at me for a few seconds and to a spot just besides my head. He can't look into my eyes anymore...

"Y-you accept that, Brendon?" he whispers and I can see tears appear in his eyes.

"Ryan. I love you. I love you, even though it won't be easy. I'll never leave you, unless you truly, truly want me to. But just know, that I'll never be happy without you." I say quietly. Ryan whimpers and then he walks over to me. He hesitates, and then he takes my hand and squeezes it.

"I-I love you too Brendon... I... I don't want you to leave... I... I'll try my best for you, okay? I promise."