The Daughter's Mistake

Chapter 19

Previously...

"Cas, wait," I call out to him.

He turns and looks at me. "Yes?"

"There's something I need to tell you."

Castiel moves away from the door, and he moves back towards the bed. "What is it?"

"Think of what his face would look like if he found out."

Now...

I can't do it. I can't tell him. Now isn't the time. This is not the right place.

"Never mind, I think I just need some rest. Thank you for helping me up here," I say.

He gives me a small smile and nods his head in reply. He disappears and I lay back as I drown in the silence of my room. Then a knock at the door nearly makes me jump out of my bed. The door opens and just as I suspect, Sam stands there.

"Sorry, were you sleeping?" he asks.

"No, I just said goodbye to Cas. What is it?" I reply.

"I wanted to see if you were okay."

I nod, "I think the only thing I need now is some rest. I didn't expect having Castiel touch my soul to be so draining."

"I know how it feels...sort of."

I laugh, "I hope you don't remember that. That wouldn't be a good thing if you remembered."

"Why not? I already know too much, one more thing isn't going to be so bad."

"Sam, don't say that. You know this isn't a joke. Dean would flip out on you if he heard you say that, I'm out of energy to flip out on you."

"Okay, yeah, maybe I should've worded that a little differently."

"Maybe you shouldn't have mentioned it at all."

"Let's not fight."

"There doesn't have to be a fight. Let's just drop this subject."

"I'll just let you rest, didn't mean to keep you up longer than you wanted."

"Sam, don't leave."

"What?"

I get up from the bed and walk over to him, and he can see that something is wrong. "Please don't leave," I say as my tears begin to fall. He wraps me up in his arms and doesn't let go of me. "Lay with me for a while?"

"I don't know, would you really want that?" he asks, clearly wary that I might turn on him.

"You don't have to say anything to me, I just don't want to be alone. I don't want anymore nightmares, Sam. Make them stop."

He gives me this sympathetic look, it pains him to see me like this. "I wish that there was something that I could do to help you."

"What did you do to get rid of this?"

"I died."

That's right, I remember this story. Him and the other people like him, and me now, how it was left to Sam and another guy named Jake. Then Sam was stabbed in the back, literally, by Jake. He died in Dean's arms, and so Dean sold his soul to bring his little brother back from the dead.

That seems my best option at this point. Who cares if I sell my soul, either way I'll end up in Hell. Why not make the clock go out faster? Olivia, you need to stop with these thoughts. Focus on Sam, focus on what is in front of you now. Think of the things that you'll be leaving behind. Think of Dean. Think of Dad. Think of Sam. Think of Castiel.