Sunlight {Levi x Fem!Reader} [COMPLETE]

30: Questionable Choices

  The time where you would meet up with Levi again was inching closer and much faster than you had hoped for. His company had become altered for you. It didn't take Hanji long to figure out that you weren't at your best.
  "Everything okay over there?" Hanji asked you while you both went over documentation and paperwork from your fellow soldiers. You shook your head as your response. Hanji gazed at you with concern written across her face. You sighed, knowing exactly what she was trying to do.
  "It's Levi again." You gave in to Hanji all too easily. She gave you a small playful smirk.
  "Oh my god, don't even say it." You rolled your eyes, knowing what Hanji was thinking before she even responded. She giggled amusingly.
  "Sorry, sorry! Don't mind me. What happened?" She questioned while still laughing a bit.
  "We talked all night and got things sorted out. We ended up falling asleep together and when I woke up we continued talking. I ended up kicking him out because I started feeling weird all of a sudden." You explained, leaving extremely important details out. Hanji tilted her head out of confusion, assuming you would go into further explanation. You sat there, staring oddly.
  "Weird?" She asked. You groaned, not wanting to discuss it, but knew that you had to in order to get some assistance in what you were dealing with.
  "I started getting a weird feeling in my chest and started thinking crazy things." You went further into detail. Hanji smirked again, much wider this time as she widened her eyes at you a bit. You became red in the face out of embarrassment. Hanji knew right away what you were feeling.
  "Holy fuck, stop it!" You covered your face and chuckled nervously. She laughed with you as well, coming closer to give you a hug.
  "What you're feeling is normal. Talk to Levi about it." Hanji suggested. You shook your head.
  "I can't do that, that's insane." You objected, not wanting to give the idea a second thought. You felt far too sheepish over the ordeal. Despite how straightforward you always were, the emotions you were experiencing were on a whole different level for you.
  "Why not? Levi would understand." Hanji tried to reassure you. You exhaled deeply.
  "I know he would, but that's not something I can just do. I'm confused with my own feelings that I can't even word them properly, let alone even accept them right now." You argued the point. Hanji frowned for a moment. She beamed, reminding herself of something.
  "I've seen the way Levi looks at you and what he thinks of you. It's hard for him to be capable of showing his emotions or even think so highly of someone as he does with you. So just talk to him." Hanji insisted, making you grumble. She was stubborn just like Levi and yourself. But you figured people had to have a large obstinate side to be part of the Survey Corps. You smiled, looking down at the floor suddenly.
  "I'll try. I can't make any promises." You gave in. Hanji hummed at you with joy.
  "Someone's chipper." You heard Levi's voice. Your chest began to feel hot as you attempted to calm your heart rate. Did he hear everything we talked about? You thought to yourself.
  "Aren't I always?" Hanji started, acting natural. You struggled to turn and face him for a moment.
  "I suppose that's true." Levi replied, plainly. Your chest was starting to feel caved in, and your breathing hitched on its own. Fuck! Fuck! Shit! Fuck! You mentally cursed at yourself.
  "Everything alright?" Levi was suddenly standing in front of you. You were so caught up with your inner thoughts that you didn't pay any attention to his movements.
  "I'm good, nothing to worry about. I'm just exhausted." You answered, clearly lying.
  "I would figure." Levi stated, hinting at the night the both of you had shared together. You felt your cheeks gather warmth. You turned away from him again and acted like you were focused on your work. Levi didn't say a word after you made the action. Hanji watched you, feeling entertained and saddened at the same time.
  She thought your constant bashfulness was hilarious, yet felt a bit of pity for how your emotions were suddenly sky rocketing onto another planet. You clearly had no experience with the feelings you were enduring. It was terrifying for you. The idea of affection or intimacy was so foreign in your world that you constantly second guessed yourself, thinking it was either a mistaken feeling, or utterly impossible. You were scared. What do I do? You thought once more.
  "I think that's about enough for today. We can pick things back up tomorrow." Hanji mentioned, bringing you out of your thoughts. You were frozen.
  "Right." You spoke out, unsure of what was going to happen later.
  "See you both later." Hanji stayed in her office momentarily before heading off on her own. You were alone with Levi. It was part of your agreement that morning that the both of you would continue to talk. You desperately wanted to force yourself to say something, but your mouth wouldn't move. Your voice wouldn't come out.
  "Wanna take a walk?" Levi asked. You nodded as your response. He could clearly see that you weren't yourself. He knew it had something to do with the night prior and that very morning especially. Were you shutting him out? He had thought to himself. He wouldn't dare ask that question, however. Both of you walked through the forest as you did the night you were captured. It brought back memories. Although, it wasn't painful to think about. You asked yourself if you were numb to the thoughts. Everything was so backwards recently. You couldn't get a grip on yourself. You had so much that you wanted to say, but you stopped yourself at every turn or chance you had. It was painfully annoying for you.
  "I overheard the ending of your conversation with Hanji before I walked in." Levi stated, stopping under a tree suddenly. You stopped in your tracks. Your back was turned to him. He kept staring at you. You felt his eyes on you, awaiting for you to face him. You couldn't bring yourself to move any further from where you were standing. You wanted to turn, but you also wanted to run. What the hell is wrong with me? You internally shouted at yourself.

  A/N: Hello! This chapter took a while. As you all know I can be fairly busy with many things. My mental health has gotten a lot better so that's good news. It gets like this off and on due to the disorder I have. No need to worry. I use many different coping mechanisms that work really well for me. It's just the matter of how long it takes to get through it. It's not so much sad for me, but annoying to deal with at this point lol. But I'm really excited to be writing this again!! I started a new fanfiction that's a Kaneki Ken x Reader from Tokyo Ghoul. It's a very old fanfiction I started writing a few years ago that I just fixed up a bit and published. I'm not too motivated or invested with that one as I am with this fanfiction but I definitely will get involved with that one on and off as well. Thank you all so much for the love and support! I'm so happy that you all enjoy the story and where it's headed. Have a wonderful day and stay safe!! <3333333 -(2019)

  ***(This A/N is from over a year ago, but I'd also like to mention that the Kaneki x Reader is back up, and I also started writing and publishing chapters for an Ash x Reader from Banana Fish as well if any of you are interested in reading that. I also have published many chapters to a novel I plan on publishing professionally called Short Tempered. Feel free to check them out if you would like to. Thank you once again!) -(6/22/2021)