Sunlight {Levi x Fem!Reader} [COMPLETE]

39: Bigger News

  A/N: Hello once again!! The only thing I really have to say is that I want to thank you all for the love and support you've given me on this story! It means the world to me to see you all so involved with it. It means even more to see that you all love it so much too. ^.^ I've decided to dedicate this chapter to 'The Letter' by The Black Heart Procession. I don't really have a clear way of describing my explanation to why I chose this song, it's just perfect in my opinion. If you decide to listen to it, you'll hopefully see what I mean. The Black Heart Procession is also a great band I recommend listening to if you are up to it. I will warn that the album this song is from is called The Spell, and it depicts drawings of nude women on the cover. I just wanted to leave that quick warning in case anyone would be uncomfortable by it. If you want to listen to the song without seeing the album cover, send me a message and I'll send you a link to that song that doesn't have that cover on it. I hope you all enjoy this chapter and feel free to reach out to me with any questions or concerns. Thank you!! <3333333

*THIS CHAPTER DISCUSSES A PROCEDURE FOR A DISTURBING MEDICAL DIAGNOSIS THAT YOUR CHARACTER HAS, WHICH WAS MENTIONED IN THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER. THERE IS A BRIEF, BUT GRAPHIC AND DARK DESCRIPTION OF SELF-HARM TOWARDS THE END OF THE CHAPTER. IT ALSO DISCUSSES THEMES OF DEPRESSION AND DISASSOCIATIVE BEHAVIOR*

  The following day, you and Hanji decided to do one last x-ray of your body to be absolutely sure of the darkened spot in your uterus. After finding out that the darkened spot was exactly what she had thought it was, the next move was to remove the deceased fetus. Hanji also expressed her concern of the defilement to your rib bones.
  "It's likely from all the abuse. I was no stranger to it after all. I'm surprised that's the least of the damage." You assured Hanji after she showed you the visible cracks on your rib cage that healed over time, but left impacts and permanent calluses on and around the bones that were fractured and splintered. You didn't think much of it, considering you felt fine. She was far more perturbed, which left you wondering why.
  "It's odd is all. No need to fret over it, I suppose. My other concern is how fast your hip is healing. It hasn't even been twenty-four hours and it's already almost fully healed." Hanji continued to speak about it with immense apprehension. You shrugged.
  "I've always healed quickly. Even living in the Underground I never really needed medical treatment. I never would've gotten it even if I did, but it was just something I got used to, so I guess my bones are used to the impact after all these years." You spoke plainly, leaving Hanji to become worried for you and your mental state. 
  "I'm fine, really. I'm not bothered by it, I'm just simply explaining the likelihood of this being the reason behind my quick healing." You desperately tried to assure Hanji, but you could tell that she was still questioning it. The matter and state of your hip was the least of Hanji's uneasiness. She needed to have you undergo an invasive procedure in order to remove the deceased fetus from your body. Hanji temporarily avoided the conversation in order to explain the surgery.
  "You'll be sedated, which is this liquid that I will inject inside your bloodstream. It will relax you and all your muscles until you evidently fall asleep. By the time that you wake up, the procedure will be over and you'll be in the process of healing from it. It won't take long for you to heal. We'll keep you overnight in the bed we have provided for you and within seventy-two hours, you should be back on your feet." Hanji explained. She continued to go over protocol of what to be expected before, during and after the procedure.

*AFTER THE SURGERY*

  "How do you feel?" Hanji asked you while she was standing over you. You sat upward in your bed. You nodded, feeling a bit sore as you shifted your body into a comfortable position.
  "Okay, I guess. I don't feel much pain, really." You answered honestly. Hanji wasn't really expecting you to feel intense amounts of pain, but she still found it odd that there wasn't much that you were experiencing, if any at all. You were the odd man out with how eerie she was behaving. It got even weirder and far more awkward when Erwin and Levi entered the room to see how you were doing after the procedure. Levi was of course supportive and attentive, but he was still acting strange as well.
  "Alright, what the fuck is going on?" You asked. They looked over at you, not sure how to react to your sudden outburst.
  "You all have been acting weird as hell since I woke up." You continued, losing patience. You thought it was ridiculous that they thought you wouldn't their unison shift in personality.
  "I think we should wait to tell you. At least until you're healed completely." Hanji mentioned, agitation you deeply.
  "Did something happen?" You asked, panicking a little as your breathing became weighted and ragged. Levi and Hanji rushed to your side.
  "No, no. The surgery went amazing and you're fine. If something went wrong that would've been the first thing I mentioned as soon as you woke up. It's something else." Hanji hesitated to speak after she noticed that Levi was giving her a glare.
  "If something is wrong at all, I not only deserve to know, but I demand to know. I am owed that. You can't keep secrets from me if it involves me in any way." You warned, your voice becoming lower in tone as you spoke. Erwin approached your bed, standing at the end of it. Hanji took a deep breath.
  "It's no coincidence that you can heal at such a fast pace in very little time. It also has nothing to do with your childhood or the abuse you went through. When bones fracture, break and crack, the healing time, pain, and process is all the same no matter how many times the same bones are broken." Hanji explained, but stopped for a moment, allowing you to take all the information in before she continued.
  "Okay, then what's the reason?" You couldn't wait anymore for the answer.
  "We looked over your x-ray some more after your procedure while you rested. There were several other bones that you had broken in the past that also somehow miraculously healed quite quickly." Hanji took another breath.
  "There's only one person that we know of that has similar healing qualities like you do. It's Eren Jaeger." Hanji relayed to you. You were deeply confused. Why was this a bad thing?
  "Okay? So, what does that mean? Isn't that just a guarantee that I'm fine since he can also heal quickly?" You mentioned, not understanding why they were all so paranoid.
  "Do you remember when I told you that Eren is a Titan shifter?" Levi mentioned. You nodded, remembering the conversation you and Eren also had with each other. Then it donned on you.
  "Wait, you don't mean that-" You stopped speaking mid-sentence. You thought that there was absolutely no way that you could be a Titan. It was utterly impossible.
  "That's impossible, I'm not a Titan shifter. That's insane. What about the time when I was bed-ridden for weeks?" You laughed it off, thinking that it was just a misdiagnosis and that they were wrong. Hanji shook her head, looking down. She knew that there was absolutely no doubt in what she had found. Though, she had hoped it wasn't true, she couldn't lie to you.
  "You have almost the exact same healing quality and time that Eren does. He'll come in for broken bones, we'll take an x-ray of his body and he'll end up healing within a few days, if even that. Besides, we did some tests, and with the condition that your legs and arms were in back then, you should've been bed ridden for months. The reason it took so long was because it was mainly your muscles that were damaged, so they took much longer to heal than it would've likely taken if it were just your bones." Hanji continued, nearly on the verge of tears. While she thought to herself that you being a Titan was an interesting discovery, at the cost of how you reacted, as well as everything you had gone through, she felt heartbroken.
  "There was a time where he lost a tooth and within a few hours, it had already grown back as if it had never fallen out." Levi added to the explanation.
  "It didn't fall out, you kicked him across the face." Hanji mentioned, scowling at Levi. He grumbled, knowing that it wasn't the time to be critical of anything. On your own, you were at a complete loss. It really was one thing after another for you. You truly couldn't live your life happily. You were dealt with the shittiest hand imaginable in the gambling game of life.
  "You know damn well the reason why I did that, but the reasons are irrelevant right now." Levi continued, defending himself. You began to drown yourself in deep thought as Hanji and Levi argued briefly.
  "So, I'm healed completely aren't I? The surgery went well and it's likely that it healed on its own since it's just some stitches right?" You asked. Hanji looked over at you, not answering for a second. She eventually nodded slowly. You lifted up the gown that you dressed yourself in before the surgery had started. You pressed your lips together, completely flat while your expression shifted into a horrifyingly miserable visage. There was just a small line traced across your abdomen from the surgery. No stitches, no blood, no bruising, no pain. Just a healed scar. You didn't waste another second. You got up from the bed without another moment to think. Hanji, Erwin and Levi all equally expressed their disquieted words with you upon noticing that you suddenly wanted to leave.
  "We really don't think this is a good idea, Y/N." Hanji mentioned as you grabbed your clothes, readying yourself to leave and head back to your room. You remained completely silent.
  "Y/N, listen to us!" Levi shouted. You weren't startled by his volume. Though, it did however make you halt your steps as you stood directly in front of the door. While your hand was gripped around the knob, you hesitated to face them.
  "I can't deal with this right now." You whispered, choking back sobs. You decided not to face any of them. Once you were finished speaking, you opened the door and walked out. After the door closed, your body overcame you, forcing you to start running back to your bedroom with the anticipation that Levi would be following after you. You didn't give him the opportunity to catch up, however. You were already in your bedroom with the door locked. You stood in your room, completely still. You had to test whether what the three of them said was true. You hurriedly grabbed a knife from your dresser drawer.
  You sat at the edge of your bed, staring at the knife, then grazing it against the palm of your hand. You sliced the bare skin harshly; aggressively carving into it. The cut started to bleed until it eventually stopped after a few minutes of staring intently at it. The wound slowly healed on its own. You sobbed, engraving the blade into your palm once again in a hostile manner. That deepened gash gave the same result as the last.
  "No, no, no, no!" Your shouting became louder with every repetitive word as you aggressively scarred up and dug into your opposite palm too. The same result.
  "Come on! This isn't real." You groaned, breathing heavily with grit teeth. You shut your eyes, bouncing your leg up and down impatiently as you opened your eyes to stare up at the ceiling. The knife was still in your hand with an exceptionally tight grip.
  "It's not real." You said in an unconvincing whisper. Not even you believed the lies you wanted to tell yourself. An icy, needle-like sensation passed over you.
  You sliced at your forearm. Same result.
  You sliced above your chest. Same result.
  Your thighs. Same result.
  Your stomach. Same result.
  Not only did the cut marks begin to heal on their own, but the pain was almost non-existent to you. You threw the knife across the room as you began to slowly lose yourself. The excess blood from the knife had cascaded droplets on the floor as you tossed it.
  "This can't be happening!" Your frustration wasn't all due to the fact that you really were a Titan shifter, it was due to the knowledge that you truly couldn't catch a break. You horridly admitted to yourself that it was indeed your fate to live life always in pain; experiencing no real happiness. You longingly stared at the knife that you chucked across the room. Your mind was going blank as you began to despise the very skin your soul was housed in. You started hearing nothing but white noise. It was getting louder the longer you stared at the knife. You tightly closed your eyes.
  "Y/N, please open the door." You heard Levi's voice from the other side of the door in your bedroom. The white noise had dissipated the second you could hear him.