school nights, timothée chalamet

vingt quatre

I found it hard to sleep my head was a swirling mess focused only on Timothee. I groaned throwing myself on my side angry that he thought he could just barge back into my life after 3 weeks of not seeing him and angry at myself that I was allowing him to infiltrate my thoughts like this. I slowly took deep breaths in and out focusing on my stomach slowly rising and falling trying to ease my restless mind to sleep and eventually it worked.

I woke the next morning in a jolt realizing I had forgotten to set my alarm and I was now going to be late. Great I thought to myself deciding to just take my time I didn't really care to go to math anyway. I might as well look extra good today so I took extra time to carefully articulate my clothing choice and slowly applied a tad bit more makeup than I would usually wear. I sighed content with my appearance as I made my way slowly and quietly to my car not wanting to be lectured for being late. I drove quickly to school seeing as it was now 2nd period and it was starting to freak me out. 

I walked slowly up the path my eyes fixated on the big glass doors letting a small sigh escape my lips as I watched my breath fog up in front of me as I quickly shuffled my way to my 2nd period. I carefully twisted the knob I hated being late and all the stares I would get. I walked to my seat staring back at the wide eyes which were fixated on me. And slowly laid my head down on the desk. 

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

Lunch rolled around rather slowly and I sat by myself in the library I hadn't seen Naomi yet so I figured she hadn't come today. I sighed closing my eyes softly I hated being alone at school it always made me feel like such a loser. 

I awoke to a soft push on my arm I blinked my eyes open to be met with vibrant green ones. "Timothee," I said softly. He nodded his head quickly.

"I've been looking for you everywhere," he rushed out grabbing for my hand and slowly played with my fingers.

"Stop," I said quickly ripping my hand from his grasp hating the butterflies I felt in the pit of my stomach. His face fell but he quickly fixed it.

"Please let me talk to you," He begged staring into my eyes intensely "We can go to a cafe."

"Why would I do that," I asked him. I knew I was being a bitch but I didn't want to give in.

"Fine we can talk here," he said sitting beside me his knee knocking into mine. Which I quickly moved my knee away from his. "I know you're mad," he started softly "and I understand if you don't want to talk to me again after this." 

"I literally said I don't want to talk to you right now," I started but he just cut me off.

"The reason I have been gone is because I was in rehab, I'm over three weeks clean as of now."

I stared at him and he stared back "Why didn't you tell me," I asked, "I thought you were dead."

"I'm so sorry, My parents signed me up for it so quickly once I said I wanted to go I didn't even think of it."

"I don't even know what to say right now," I mumbled softly. "You have no idea how much that hurt me. I laid in my bed every day and cried so many things happened that I wanted to tell you but I couldn't I lost my best friend and it didn't even seem like you cared." I said softly. "I liked you so much I thought you felt the same," I looked into his eyes which were now glossed over.

"I know," he said his voice shaky "I'm so sorry," a tear slipped from his eye and I couldn't help but reach up and gently wipe it away. 

"I'm proud of you," I told him "truly I'm so glad you're strong enough to get out," I grasped his hand. He only nodded at me tears were streaming down his perfectly sculpted face at this point.

"Thank you," he whispered leaning onto me and I wrapped my arms around his frail body and held him as he laid his head on my lap, and I slowly ran my hand through his curls.

I only felt confusion and sadness as I sat there and listened to the bell ring signifying lunch was over and the next period was about to begin. But we just sat there through it the librarian not seeming to care or not even knowing that we were in here. I wondered what this made us I didn't know if I was ready to jump headfirst back into what we once were, I wished I could change everything I wanted so desperately to go back to when things were simpler and I only knew him as the boy who talked too loudly with his friends in the library during lunch.