-SANDER SIDES- X Reader ONESHOTS

Deceit x reader (angsty) P2

(unedited)

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I covered my greasy face with my dirty hand, I feel uncomfortable to be sitting in this environment, so I guess it is time to have a shower? I get up from my bed, unwillingly, walking over to the bathroom door.

I step inside the bathroom onto the tiled floor, my feet slide over the tiles and I feel a wave of chills go from my feet to head in a matter of literally two second. I shudder, and then head over to the mirror. I take a good look at myself and I see a huge monster.

My hair is tangled and tousled in various places, feeling and looking very greasy. My face is covered in dirt and grime. My lips are cracked horribly, blood still showing through the pink skin. My eyes have very dark circles around them, my friend once I last saw him had mistaken it for makeup. 

I wince as I begin to remove my clothes, I slip my shirt over my head and my arms graze over my stomach. I blink away a sly tear and I try to throw my pants away, but they seem to of gotten smaller. I eventually just break down, and I cut them off. 

I look into the mirror again, it's still slightly broken from last time.. 

I go to take off my undergarments when I suddenly get a phone call, it's my friend, Thomas! I try to leave it but he won't stop calling me, he know's I hate calls. Despite everything telling me not to, I took the call.

The phone faced up at the roof, I was on face time. "Hey, Y/n?" I heard him call to me "yeah?" I questioned "Did I call at a bad time?" I coughed "every time you call is a bad time, you know I hate calls!" I say guilty.

"I know, I'm sorry, but I just haven't heard from you in three weeks and I got concerned. Are you doing okay?" he asked me "o-oh, yeah, of course" I bite my tongue "Do you remember the plans for today?" he asks me and I stop in my tracks "w-what?" I didn't remember planning to go anywhere!

"You promised that you'd come over to my house, the sides miss you" He tells me and I immediately feel horrible. I know that Patton would be so upset if he knew what was going on in my life right now, and Logan would probably just lecture me on how I'm acting is unnecessary and ridiculous.

"o-oh, I'm sorry Thomas! I completely forgot, I-'ll be over in a few"  I push my hair behind my ear "okay. Just please. If anything is happening, just know you can tell me" he smiles to me and I nod my head. "okay, see you then" I chuckle and then he hangs up.

I pant heavily as I wrap my arms across my chest, clawing at my shoulders and making them bleed slightly. "Oh god- he's gonna find out and hate me" I take my hands away and I just bang my head on the shower door.

I rip the rest of my clothes off and then I hop into the shower, the water is burning hot, steam comes up from the floor and fog fills the whole bathroom. I like these showers best, at least I can't see myself, however.. I can still feel pain!

"ow!" I cry out, the boiling water lashes against my scarred skin and leaves more burns. I lean back to rinse my hair "did I even buy soap?" I look at the shelves "good going me" I roll my eyes and then I grab it from the shelf. 

I soak it with the water and I move it smoothly over my skin, my hair always smells so bad whenever it gets wet. My eyes water from the fog and I begin to cry. I finish up with the soap, so I put it back on the shelf.

I wash the soap off and I then reach for the shampoo "shit- I'm almost out" I shake at the feeling of having to go out into public again, I just hate going to the shop, I don't want people to look at me but they won't stop staring. 

I squirt out as much shampoo as I can into my hand and I massage my head thoroughly with it, I let it stay in for a bit before washing it out. I take the conditioner from the shelf and I see that I have a lot more conditioner then shampoo, so I use lots of it to make-up for the fact of having close to no shampoo.

I put the conditioner in, and then I wait a few before taking it out. My hair tangles between my fingers, getting stuck, I move my hand and I end up ripping out lots of my hair. I rub the back of my head, it hurts.

I turn the shower off, it quickly turns from hot to cold and it hits my sore skin. I jump from the sudden change in temperature and I end up scraping my back on the door, I sigh and I grasp onto my towel. 

I wrap the fabric around me and I walk back to my room, Thomas calls me again. I sit on my bed, and I take the call normally. "hey, it's been around an hour" I sigh "really? I didn't think I was in the shower for so long, I'll come over in no longer than ten minutes!" I say and then hang up again.

I rush to get ready, with just tossing clothes onto my wet body. My shirt goes over my arm and I feel the thread get caught onto one of my scabs, I try my best to move it from where I can but it doesn't work and it ends up bleeding. 

I don't care, I just let it bleed out. 

I'm wearing a long sleeve black shirt, with a red jacket over it. I'm also wearing a pair of grey sweat pants with some white sneakers, wearing more dressy clothes would probably end up with me exposing my arms.

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ooh shit, I might need to make a P3  ◉_◉