Sienna

Rage

Cole

I'm angry. Furious. At myself. At Theo. At Sienna. At Mia. That's why I'm at my Rage Wall. Dom had the idea after one too many Rages. Beating up people wasn't working for me anymore, so we made a steel wall that allowed for me to work out my frustration.

My Theo frustration. Adorable, soft, sweet, smart, cute Theo. Theo who could be a sexy beast and moaning mess in bed but look so calm and collected when we're out on the field. Theo, who I care about the most and who I ended up hurting the most.

I slam my fists repeatedly into the wall but freeze when I hear the door creek open.

"Cole?" Theo's soft hesitant voice makes my heart ache. He used to say my name with enthusiasm but now it's with fear. I hadn't recognized it before, but his flickering eyes and stuttering are all sign of fear. And I mean how can he not be afraid, after what I did to him?

"Yeah, Theo?" I ask keeping my voice soft. I don't want to scare him away.

His eyes land on my hands and he rolls his eyes. The little act of sass makes me hopeful. Hopeful that means maybe we can fix our relationship. Maybe not as it was before, but close.

*

"I don't think the wall is a very good alternative." Theo says wiping my hands tenderly. We've been sitting in silence in my room while he's cleaning and bandaging my hands. We're close together on my bed, him close enough for me to smell the cologne he put on before the ball. He hasn't looked at me yet. His eyes have stayed solely on my hands. I wish he'd study my face like he always does. So he'd see my intentions. I won't hurt him ever again.

"It's better than a body," I say chuckling but it just makes him flinch. My stomach twists.

"Yeah," he sighs and finishes wrapping my hand before dropping it gently.

He goes into my bathroom and I hear the water run.

"Why are you here, Theo?" I ask loud enough over the water. He comes out and gives me a small smile.

"I'm guessing you feel guilty," he says sitting next to me. He finally looks my in the eye and I see fear swirling in them.

"Of course I feel guilty. I hurt you that night and I beat myself over it every night. I never meant to hurt you. I thought I had control I didn't-"

"I know Cole. That's why I forgave you."

"Then why are you so terrified of me?"

"I don't trust you, Cole. I mean can you blame me?You broke my bones in my sleep."

I nod my head because what can I say to that. It's the truth. That night. That awful night when I got triggered so bad, I beat whatever was around me. Sadly, that was Theo. He was curled up in my arms when I got lost in Rage. I didn't even realize I was doing it until he was already a bloody pulp.

Remembering causes guilt to wash over me along with regret. I feel tears in my eyes and I try to stop them.

"I am so sorry, Theo." My voice cracks and he opens his arms for a hug. I go into them and he squeezes me hard. It's comforting, and any traces of my Rage is wiped away. I sigh into his ear and I feel his heart beating erratically.

He's uncomfortable. He's scared.

I go to pull away but he holds on tighter. "I don't wanna be afraid anymore, Cole." He whispers. I feel wetness on my back and I squeeze tighter. Not enough to hurt him. I was serious about never hurting him again.

"I missed you, Theo." I missed him being in his arms. I missed him whispering in my ear and his bright face when he giggles. His glimmering eyes when he learns something knew or his constant grin when he's just overall happy.