Caught in a Chase

11 - Reconcile

Paul wasn't around as much day to day since talking over as the CEO of Def Jam. So I was surprised to hear him call me from his office as I walked down the hall.

"Marshall! You got a sec?"

"Hey Boss Man. What's up?" I said leaning against the door jam.

"I wanted to ask you about the special assignment you cleared IT to work on. I can't connect it to any of the upcoming projects."

"Uh gotta go. Talk to you later," I turned to leave.

"Hold it," Paul yanked me into the room, closing the door. "What did you do?"

"Why ya gotta be like that man?"

"Because suddenly you look guilty as hell. What's going on?"

"It's not a big deal. I have Kurt working on something for me personally."

"If it's not a big deal, why not tell me about it?" Paul asked.

"Cause you're not going to like it," I said flopping into one of the club chairs.

Paul pinched the bridge of his nose, his way of reducing the stress I caused, and sat across from me. "I figured as much. Tell me anyway."

"In confidence?" I asked. "I don't want anyone else hearing about this."

"I won't repeat it, unless necessary," Paul promised.

"You're gonna think I'm crazy," I said.

"Probably. What's going on?"

I stared out the window as I told Paul about the story.

"I kept reading. It all sounded like me, right down to my thoughts. I don't know how someone who's never met me knows me so well. Then I started to wonder about the writer."

"And?" Paul asked.

"I want to know who wrote the story, what she's like in real life," I shrugged. "Kurt is helping me track her down from the ID address."

"IP address," Paul corrected.

"What the fuck?" I threw up my hands. "Does everyone know about these?"

"Yeah," Paul laughed.

"So you going to tell me what a bad idea this is?"

"Honestly, it's not a great idea. But it's also not the worst thing you've done by a long shot," Paul shrugged. "So if figuring out who the writer is and creeping her online is what you need to do to let this go, there's no harm to it. Except a fucking large IT bill."

"Yeah. That's it," I agreed.

It was probably best not to tell Paul I planned to do more than creep her online. I was going meet this chick. And if she really was like her character, I was going to do even more than that.

"Let me know how it goes," he said, rising from the chair. I nodded and left.

Now he'd got me thinking about the story. I wondered if Chelsea and story-me had patched things up yet. I pulled up the link on my office computer and started to read.


I hadn't talked to Chelsea since that day in the hospital parking lot over a week ago. She asked for space and I was giving it to her. At least that's what I tried to tell myself. Truth was, I was scared. 

The thought of losing her hurt. More than I wanted to admit. And there was a good chance I was going to lose her – she would break up with me after how I acted or she could die. I couldn't face either of those things. So I was staying away.

In the end, it was a fortune cookie that made me reconsider. I grabbed a cookie from the Chinese food the guys had delivered to the studio. Breaking it open I read the fortune – 'Nothing worthwhile is ever easy.'

I stared at it for a long time, ignoring the guys' chatter around me. How many times had I complained that hoes were too easy, not worth my time. Then I find an amazing woman who makes me happy and the second things get tough, I bail? I couldn't have it both ways. And in that second I knew I had to at least try. 

     M: I wanna talk. Have dinner with me tonight?

I ate the cookie while waiting for her reply, then grabbed another one. The second fortune read – 'The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.'  Okay the fortune cookies needed to chill. I got the message.

     C: Where and when?

I texted back, then stood and gathered my things. "Sorry guys. I gotta go."

I stood to kiss Chelsea as she approached the table. She turned her head and my kiss landed on her cheek. She gave me a quick hug and sat down. Not a great start. 

"How are you?" I asked, playing with a fork.

"Good," she said, picking up the menu. "How are things with you?"

"All right," I said as the server arrived to take our drink orders. I waited until he moved away before speaking again.

"You're not good. How can you act like nothing's wrong? Just carry on?" I hissed.

"Are we talking about us? Or my tumour?" she asked.

"Both!" I said.

She sighed. "What would you have me do? Sit at home crying and wringing my hands, all woe is me? What would that accomplish?"

"I don't know..."

"Look Marshall, I'm going to enjoy every second of life until my surgery. Then I'm going to fight through that and continue making my life whatever the hell I want it to be," she raised her chin defiantly. "That's what's going to happen. You can be a part of it or not, that's up to you."

The server arrived with the drinks and took our order. The whole time Chelsea's words echoed in my head – 'you can be a part of it or not.' She hadn't written me off yet. I still had a chance to save this. I took a deep breath as the server left.

"You were right, I'm an ass," I said. "And I'm sorry."

She tilted her head. "Are you apologizing for not trusting me? Following me? Accusing me of cheating? Or being furious I didn't tell you what was going on?"

"Yes. All the above," I said. "Except maybe that last one."

She rolled her eyes and then looked away. I wasn't sure what to say, so I decided to keep my mouth shut for once.

"Why not the last one?" she finally asked.

"Why what?"

"I know the difficulties you've had with cheating in the past, so while I don't appreciate the way you dealt with your suspicions, I can at least understand it. But that shit better NEVER happen again," she glared at me.

"It won't," I promised. 

"What I don't understand, is why you were so mad I didn't tell you about the appointments and think I should have. I'm sure you don't tell me every little thing that happens in your life."

"It's not a little fucking thing!" I tried to keep my voice low as my anger rose.

"Fine. It's not. But I don't need you to save or protect me. I can fight my own battles!"

"Of course you can. That's one of the things I like most about ya. But you don't have to do it by yourself!" 

"So you like that I'm independent, but you don't want me to be? Yeah that makes a lot of sense."

I took a sip of water as I thought about how to answer, what I wanted to say.

"Look ... to me, a relationship means having the person's back no matter what. That even if the whole world's against you, there's going to be that one person holding it down for you. So you fight your own battles but I'm in your corner if ya need me," I looked away, hoping this was making sense to her. "And while we were just getting started, I hoped that's where this was headed. Then I find out you'd kept this massive thing from me, not wanting me to be there for you. I was upset. I'm still upset. And I don't know where that leaves us."

Chelsea was looking down at her hands on table. I waited for her to look up and say something, but she didn't. 

"Hey," I reached across and placed a hand over hers. When she finally looked up at me, she had tears shining in her eyes. "Fuck. I didn't mean to make you cry."

In the worst timing ever, the server arrived at that moment with our meals. 

"Excuse me," Chelsea mumbled as she ducked her head and headed to the washroom.

"Actually," I said to the server. "We're going to take those to go. Can I get the bill too?" 

When she returned to the table, I had paid and our takeout bag ready. Her eyes were red as I expected.

"Let's go," I grabbed her hand and lead her out of the restaurant. Once we were at her place settled on the couch, I returned to the conversation. 

"I'm sorry if what I said before upset you."

She sighed. "It did, but probably not in the way you think."

"Tell me."

"All my life I've been the strong one. I got use to dealing with everything on my own because everyone expected I would, even in relationships," she smiled sadly as she looked up at me. "It never occurred to me to tell you about the hospital tests. I just dealt with it myself, like I always have. " 

"Is that what you want?" I frowned, knowing I could never accept that.

"What you said at the restaurant, about fighting your own battles but having someone there for you no matter what? That sounded pretty great. "

I pulled her into a hug and held her tightly. "So we're on the same team from now on? No more shutting me out?

"Okay," she said looking up at me and I kissed her.

After more than a week, it felt so good to kiss her again. The soft, sweet kiss deepened in a hurry. My tongue pushed into her mouth, her hands began running over my body. 

"Maybe we should eat," I said pulling back.

"No," she pulled me up from the couch. "Come on, condoms are in the bedroom."

"I can't stay tonight. I wish I could."

"I don't care anymore," she said, tugging my hand. "Life's short." 

My heart clenched. I wanted to do the right thing, but I wasn't sure what that was.

"Chelsea..."

"Don't you want to?" she asked.

"Of course I do!" I said. "I'm just not sure now is the right time."

"Why?"

"Cause I have something else in mind," I said as I had an idea. "We still spending next weekend together right?"

"I guess so. I haven't made other plans."

"Good," I wrapped my arms around her. "Cause I wanna take my time destroying that pussy." 

She flushed red like I knew she would. 

"Let's eat," I laughed, reaching for the bag.


I knew I was riding Kurt hard, but I didn't know what else to do. I felt like time was running out. He saw me walk in and immediately started shaking his head.

"Sorry Em. Still nothing."

"Why is this so hard? Can't you hack into the account or something?"

"That's illegal," Kurt said.

"So?"

"You don't wanna know anymore than that," Kurt said looking away.

"Hold up, you actually hacked the account? Seriously?" I was impressed. Both that he'd done it and was shielding me.

Kurt glanced around the office to make sure we were alone before answering. "Yeah."

"And?"

"The account name is, of course, fake. All the account details support the fake name, including a gmail address using the fake name. Nothing we can use," he sighed.

"So the fake account leads to a fake gmail address?" I said making sure I had it right.

"No, the gmail address is probably real," Kurt corrected.

"So maybe she had to use her real information to create the gmail account in the fake name?

"Probably. Usually have to at least supply a recovery email address in case you forget your password."

"Can you hack that?" I asked.

"Hack Google?" Kurt's eyes went wide. "No."

"Why not?"

"Because that's on a whole other level!" Kurt sputtered. "The difference between stealing a pack of gum from the corner store and robbing FortKnox!"

"Okay, okay," I sighed. "Do you know anyone at Google? Maybe we can pay them to slip us the account info?"

Kurt looked thoughtful. "I can look into that ..."

"Good," I nodded. "What else can we do?"

"IT is an interconnected community," Kurt said.

"What does that mean?" I asked.

"It means we chat online to each other a lot. I've met some guys at conferences and conventions from Vancouver over the years that I'm still in touch with. I was thinking of reaching out to them and see if they've any ideas on how to find her. Vancouver isn't a large city."

"That's good idea, go ahead."

I thanked Kurt and headed out. We had to catch a break soon.