what you can't have (b.e.)

upper west side

song inspo: upper west side, king princess

~

I can't stop judging everything you do...

Mila's POV:

"Get the fuck out of my house!"

I sling my bag over my shoulder, always packed in case my dad pulls his usual drunken shit, and reach for my skateboard in front of the door. I feel him lingering behind me, leaned up against the wall, and fling open the door, flipping him off with my other hand. Running out, I hear him screaming behind me, but block it out with my headphones.

Once I'm a couple blocks away, I pull out my phone, but hesitate over her contact. I hate being the friend that always needs a place to crash, that always needs help. I press the call button anyways, the anger starts to leave my body and crashes into sadness instead, which makes me prefer the anger.

"Can you pick me up?" I get it over with as soon as she answers.

"Mila, did he--"

"It's nothing, can you?" I cut her off, knowing if I start explaining, I'll break down. She senses my mood and agrees, telling me to wait in the coffee shop for her.

I crash through the door and throw my stuff down at a table, ordering my usual, and slump down in a chair until it's ready. High-pitched laughs draw my attention, and I glare at the group of three girls standing in front of the table to the side of me. My eyes fall down to the frappes in their manicured hands and I bite my lip to keep from grinning.

You can tell a lot about people from the type of coffee they drink. Mine: black; the bitter taste makes me feel stronger.

"Billie, oh my god, your style is so unique," one of them gushes and I immediately know who they're talking to and what they're trying to do. The girl blocking my view moves around to the other side of the table, and my suspicions are confirmed.

Billie Eilish.

Basically, nobody knew who the fuck she was at school, and the same girls up in her ass right now would've been the ones laughing at her behind her back. But now that she released some song that blew up a few weeks ago, all of a sudden people pretend to like her and everyone's going out of their way to try and be friends with her. Not me. I have enough shit to worry about, and what these girls don't understand is that you can't force a friendship.

Billie tilts her head to the side, catching me going back and forth between glaring at them and her. She rolls her eyes like we're in on a secret together, and I can't help but smile a little. I immediately suck in my lip and hide it, not wanting to seem flushed over her, because I'm not. She's just different, and it's refreshing.

"Oh my god, really, like, no way," Billie mimics their tone, and they all laugh, not getting the sarcasm dripping from her voice. I find myself laughing a little, and when she looks back at me and winks, I quickly look away and pretend to be concentrated on my phone.

"Well see ya later!" one of them cheerfully coos on their way out, thank god. It feels like she's staring at me, waiting for me to say something, but that could be me just imagining it. I don't look up and try to forget that little interaction, when I overhear her on the phone.

"Hey, call me back-- actually, maybe don't. I'm done. So yeah. Oh, sorry, I know it's your birthday, so, happy birthday. Just, sorry to do this to you, but it's not you it's me... Nah, that's bullshit, and we both know it. I just can't do this anymore," she talks into someone's voicemail and I cringe to myself. I really thought she was cool. She probably is getting a big head from the fame and won't even break up with her boyfriend in person like a decent human being.