what you can't have (b.e.)

heather (part two)

A/N: I FIXED IT. I updated three times because I didn't want to end on a sad note. I know this book has had all the drama and sadness but I genuinely want to end it on a happy, hopeful note, because I really think you can go through all of these things and be okay. So, the whole story is gonna end pretty soon, but then I'll be finishing my two other billie fics i've been ignoring, and then we'll just have to start a new book :) sorry long rant anyways--

inspo: the song i cry to every night before bed wearing their sweatshirt wishing they loved me

~

Only if you knew how much I liked you, but I watch your eyes as she walks by...

Mila's POV:

I start to walk past her, but Heather grabs onto my wrist.

"Please, don't tell her," she begs me. She begs me. As if she hasn't already taken everything from me, she's asking for something from me?

"Tell her what?" I stumble, confused. Heather's jaw drops and she quickly closes it.

"I-- nothing."

"Whatever," I brush past her and walk out the door. I go back to my table and reach for my notebook to shove in my backpack, but my fingers meet the table. I look up and it's gone. I panic, looking everywhere around it, and feel my breaths get cut shorter.

It's gone it's gone it's gone---

Heather. She took it. I know it.

I walk back into the bathroom, she's there humming, washing her hands, smiling into the mirror. I rip the backpack off her shoulders and start digging in it.

"What are you doing--"

"Where the fuck is it!" I scream, throwing her backpack to the ground when I can't find it.

"What--"

"My journal you fucking bitch! First you take Billie and now you take every record I have of her!" my voice bounces off the walls and hits her like a slap in the face. She backs away from me, hitting the sink.

"I didn't take your journal, Mila..."

I can't look at her, she's painfully bright like the sun. She brings warmth to everyone around her except me. I stand in the shadows, freezing, while she wears the sweater in the daylight.

I run out the door and sit back down in my chair, crying in the open, looking through my backpack, again and again, reopening the fridge when I know it's empty. This was the one thing I had left. I could take everything that happened and turn it into something beautiful, cursive lettering written out with a purple pen on thin pages. I lose track of time and don't realize where I am anymore.

"Here," my journal plops down on the table, I shakily look up into Billie's cold eyes.

"Did you read this..." I feel afraid.

"You know, I was going to, until I realized you're not even worth a minute of my time. You don't have the right to record everything that happened when you're the one that destroyed us," Billie snaps, her words cutting to the bone.

I can't speak, so I just let her continue.

"I really fucking loved you, Mila. What was this all for? So you could write a book and grab some clout to make yourself relevant? I fell for you because you weren't like everybody else, because I trusted that you wouldn't use me for my name. But I guess that's what you were doing this whole time, pretending," she speaks faster, I can feel heat waves rise off her skin. Heather walks out of the bathroom, standing behind Billie, pulling on her sleeve for them to leave.