what you can't have (b.e.)

go

A/N: I'm putting y'all on meg myers my underrated queen

inspo: go, meg myers

~

I've got nothing to hide, I've got nothing at all...

Heather's POV:

"Weren't you supposed to be in p-prison anyways?" Mila breaks the long silence. I don't like it when she talks, or breathes. She holds both of her hands tight around her legs, a nauseous look on her face.

She thinks she's one step ahead of me. She sees me as this person off the rails that she can trick with her words. I think that actually makes her exactly like me. I've played roles myself so I can tell when someone else is doing it too. The only reason she's still here is because I let my feelings take over, kept them inside for too long festering. I'm more controlled this time, I've planned every single detour this could take.

"No, because I'm fucking rich and have parents that love me, you wouldn't understand, Mila," I smile, tapping her leg and she flinches.

"Billie's not going to come back. And even if she does, what are you going to do? Jesus, Heather, she just doesn't fucking love you, and when you do all of this crazy shit, she hates you. Maybe all that money you got can buy you a therapist instead!" Mila talks in a fake cheery voice. I can't stand this bitch, she really wants me to snap, she really does.

"She will! And I know what I'm fucking doing, I'm not stupid. Maybe I can't make her love me but I can make her hate you. And you know what she hates? When she saves you and instead of being grateful, you blame her. Billie's gonna come back and she's gonna hate you for it, and you're gonna hate her for it. And then I'll do what you never do, save her," I grit my teeth, hand wrapping around the handle to my knife.

Fuck. Her eyes look me over, they have that realization look in them. I shouldn't have said anything.

"It's funny, Heather. You love being in control over everything but it must really kill you inside when at the end of the day you know Billie completely controls you," Mila whispers. If she's gonna say shit like that, she could at least look me in the eyes.

Mila's phone rings and her fingers twitch but I pick up the phone.

"Heather, give the phone to Mila right fucking now" Billie immediately speaks and I find myself pushing the phone towards her without even thinking about it.

"Mila."

"Billie you shouldn't--"

"Shut up and listen to me. I'm already on my way so stop saying that shit. I love you and I'm trying to come back as fast as I can--"

"Billie--" I take the phone back but she talks over me.

"Choke on a carrot, Heather."

I look back to Mila and for a second, she smiles. She sees me watching and covers her face, a little laugh escaping. She tries to cover it up but there's something I don't know.

I look down and see Billie's hung up. On me.

I look at Mila. I don't care anymore. I want her gone.

I don't wanna be fake, but it's filled up the room, sick of being your alter...

~

Mila's POV:

"Choke on a carrot, Heather."

I try not to smile, but I get it, I remember and I see through what she's saying.

"Are you seeing this?"

I just wait for her to explain but she nudges me.

"Carrots?"