IN SEARCH OF TRUST!

12. Rachel's broken hand!

Hardin's pov :

I wake up when my phone buzzes below my pillow. It's Melvin calling me. "hello?" I say. I'm still very sleepy now. Guess the alcohol inside me doesn't want to leave me. "hey bro? U still sleeping?" he asks. My eyes are full of sleep and my mind doesn't hold the power to think, so my mouth doesn't speak. "hello?" I can hear Mel speaking. I'm in sleep. "Hardin??.. U there?" he says I think. I'm not able to reply and I don't want to take risk by letting go of my sleep, cuz I haven't sobered up yet. My strengthless hand drops the phone aside.
After a few seconds it buzzes again and I answer it. "Hardin what's wrong?? U didn't sober up yet.. Did you?" he says through the phone. I open my eyes and sit straight before I answer. "yeah" I say. "aren't you coming to the college?" he asks. I look at the time and it's jus 6am. "what the fuck Mel? You woke me up at 6 fuckin am. Are you serious?" I ask. What was it for him to wake me up this early? "don't you have to get ready?" he says. What? He sure as hell can't be serious. "Mel don't fuck! Who the hell told you I'll take 4 God damn hours to get ready? And first of all, I have the alcohol still acting on me." I say, laughing at his annoyance. "come on Hardin... Didn't I tell you that I have class and I gotta be attending it in time" he speaks. "okay chill! Pick me up at 8 or so." I say. "yeah.. See ya around!" he says and ends the call. I have 10 missed calls from Rachel. Why did she call me that many times? She doesn't have common sense to not call back if it isn't received the first time. I don't call her back cuz I don't want to explain everything to her and I neither want to listen to her boring story. I drop my phone aside and I hear someone knocking my bedroom door. It's no one but my mum. Sure as fuckin hell my dad won't. Let alone knocking my door when he doesn't even dare to look at my face. She's constantly knocking and I pull the mantle over my face, pretending to be asleep. Cuz I know why she's here. She wants to know about my yesterday's behavior. And I don't hold the confidence to hurt her by telling her the truth that I was drunk till I passed out. She finally pushes the door open cuz I hadn't locked it. I hear pluto bark next to her. Ive not been with him from past 2 days. I miss spending time with him, revealing every confession of mine, which cannot be told out. But pluto is really my best friend, he consoles and comforts me. He makes sure I'm enjoying solacement in hard times. I seriously miss him and he must too.
"Hardin??.... Hardin??" she asks coming closer and shaking my arms for me to wake up. But I don't. I don't know how to explain things to her. I'm sure she'll break down before I even start. I don't want her to be in tears. But again at the same time I don't want to put my life under restrictions, which includes all the experiences I've planned to savour.
I don't respond to her actions. My pluto jumps over me and tries to pull the blanket off of me. I'm actually laughing inside the blanket at his playful gestures. He's so active always. "come on pluto.. Lets go. He doesn't seem to get up" my mum calls pluto and he barks disagreeing with her. Pluto is like a small baby in our house. Everybody loves him. My parents love him more than their biological son!
My mum moves where as pluto stays.
As soon as she slams the door behind I push the mantle away and pull pluto to me. I've missed him so much and I have to confess all that I've been hiding from him. I kiss him all over and he does the same. "hey baby... I've been missing u so much" I say, brushing his soft fur with my fingers. He barks at me, telling me clearly that he missed me more than I did him.

I finally get ready in a black t shirt and a black pant. I call Mel to pick me up and he says he'll take 15 minutes to be here.
I'm hungry... So damn hungry cuz i haven't had anything from yesterday than the leftover pizza in the morning. I grab my things and run down. I fill a glass of coffee first. "mommy... Hey good morning!... What's for breakfast?" I ask, wishing her to stay quiet without interrogating. "morning... Uhh.. Actually I didn't prepare anything" she says calmly. I don't think she's angry on me because of yesterday. She also doesn't seem to question me. "hell! I'm very hungry" I say softly, just to maintain her calmness. "I can make sandwich while you finish your coffee" she says and I nod, sitting on the dining table. minutes later she finally speaks. "what was with you yesterday?" she asks. Fuck! The thing I didn't want it to come is here. "what?... What was with me?" I stammer as I try to make up a lie. "that's what I asked... What made you drink?" she's not yelling. I understand she's trying deal it softly before I break her down. Her calmness is killing me. I could take scoldings and yellings than her silence. "who told you that I drank?" I didn't find an answer so I question her back taking some more time to think. "Hardin... Why should someone else tell me?.. I saw you tripping every step you took." she says and I knew she saw me. "mummy... That's not the thing.. I..." I start and she cuts me off. "why Hardin... Why? Why did you do this to me?... I thought you were with me when your father came home drunk and harassed me.. Every single time. I thought you stood for me and showed me that you're not like him. I thought you.." she says and I try to break her off but she lifts her palm to stop me." no.. Lemme finish. I thought you were different from him. I thought you would inspire your dad not to drink and become a gentleman like you. I thought you respected women and especially your mum. I never thought you would step in drunk. Never ever, not even in my dirtiest nightmare. "she stops saying and starts crying. No... Please. This is what I didn't want." mum... Please stop crying. "I say, reaching her right shoulder to console her. She jerks away from my touch." no Hardin... Now you don't hold the right to touch me. "she says." mum... I'm an adult now and I hold the right to have one drink at least. It's every teenager's wish.! "I say, keeping my calm." wow my son! Great answer. "she sarcastically says." isn't harassing your mother a part of your wish? "she sarcastically adds, laughing like a mad while the tears are still dripping down her shinny eyes." mommy please! Stop it. "I say, a bit loud. Now I don't want my father to know this bullshit and laugh on me." why Hardin... Why should I stop? You didn't listen to me.. So why should I? " she says equally harsh and the anger which in me shut for a while breaks open." why... Why can't I live my life?? Why should I act according to what you want?? Everyone in this huge fuckin world hold their wishes... Everybody out here, on this earth have their own God dammed fantasies. I know handling me till I'm grown enough is your responsibility but that doesn't mean I'll go according to what you say and I sure as hell don't hold the responsibility to do what you dream of. It's my wish whether I drink or not... Whether I have only one or 10 fuckin more.... I decided what I'll have... Whether it's beer I drink or vodka or rum or brandy or any other bullshit drink! You really hold a right to advice me but you can never force me to do things. A life is given to me for me to live in it and for me to do what I want to. "I finally end my speach on my life.
My mother is crying... Crying like hell! No... I don't want her to cry.. I seriously love her but what I said is true and I've been wanting to tell that to her all the time." I hope you're done. I can't take any more of it Hardin. So if you have more, keep it to yourself please. I'm hurt enough!" she cries. Mom please.. Don't cry, I'm so sorry. I want to tell that to her but If I do so, the things I've told to her now will hold no meaning. So I don't try to comfort her neither I open my fucked up mouth. She's wiping her tears off her bloodshot eyes. "hi, Hardin!" I hear someone and I turn to the main door to spot Mel standing at the door staring at my mom wondering why she's crying. It was because of me Mel, stop over acting. "hey.... Mrs. Ford. Is everything alright?" he says walking to us. "yeah" she swallows the large lump of sadness I created in her. "may I ask what's wrong?" Mel interferes. "no... You don't dare to" I warn him with my eyebrows raised. "hey! It's nothing." my mum tries to assure him. "can I know your name?... He never told me." she tries to change the topic, pointing her sight to me. "I'm Melvin.... Melvin Arlo!" he smiles at her, bringing his hands close for a shake. "nice to meet you Mrs. Ford!" he says shaking my mum's hand. "you can call me Caroline. Nice to meet u!" her voice is broken.
"why don't you wait for the breakfast.. I'm making sandwiches" she says. Her throat is literally distracted. "no... I'm okay!... We'll leave now.,i have classes" he says and I'm thankful for him, for not enquiring about things.
I grab the keys of my bike from his fist and move towards the door without uttering a word. "see you Mrs. Caroline" he says moving away. Im out before I hear my mum. "bro... What did you do to her? She was so damn red from crying" he asks. "Mel... No.. Do not dare to interfere. Stay away!" i order. Why does he have to know my personal life? "hey.. Hey! Chill! I thought you wanted to share and let out some of the disappointment you had" he says and I'm thankful,but I don't need it! "no thanks." I say. "okay!" he shrugs his shoulders. "will you ride or should I?" he asks. "here you go!" I allow him to ride cuz I'm disturbed to the core and God knows if I'll ride safe. I don't want to die soon so I let him ride. "yeah" he says and we start. On the way I see Robert coming out of the bar. What?? Was he there all night? My prediction was correct. "hey Mel... Look there. Robert is out now. Idiot stayed there all night." I say, laughing at the thought of Robert being flirted by that lady.
"oh... Good for him! He's Got no work by the way." he chuckles.