Advice For The Christian Girl

Becoming More Selfless

How do we stop wanting? How do we stop being greedy and how do we turn it from "what can God do for me?" to "what can I do for God?"

Remember that we still have a sinful nature, we still deal with our flesh that's constantly at war with our spirit (Galatians 5:16-18). So to stop being greedy or wanting isn't natural to us. We are dependent beings and unlike God, we will always be constantly in need. We will always need things. That's won't change. As for greediness, it can happen when we start viewing our relationship with God as a genie kind of relationship. We go to God when we need things but once we get them, we feel lost in our relationship with God. When you love God and spend time with Him, your desires start aligning with His. To love God is loving others and loving others flows from your love for God. Both are connected. The more your love God the more you'll want to serve and do His will. The more you grow spiritually (reading the word, prayer and spending time in worship) you will focus more on God and less on self. You slowly start changing and become more selfless.

You will want to show others the love God shows you. You want to help others and encourage them. You want to please God in all you do. This is something you grow in because you're abiding in Christ and now bearing the fruits of the Spirit (John 15:4, Galatians 5:22). You grow to reflect Christ the more you spend time with Him. The more your mind is renewed by the word the more those thoughts of pride, envy and lust are disappearing and becoming less. Our natural response as human beings is to be self-focus but the more time we spend with God, we are being transformed to bear the fruit of selflessness and love.

So if I had to give you some tips.

First, go before God today and ask Him to change your heart. Confess to Him that you notice you can become self-focused very often and you want to rather become more selfless and grow in love. God will hear you and by the power of His Spirit, He'll begin to refine you to be more like Him. Pray about this constantly and you'll soon realise (note not overnight but over time) that you'll be more and more selfless.

Second, fill yourself with the word of God. Mediate on Jesus' character. Learn from the mistakes of others and get to know your saviour. Like I mentioned, the more you grow in relationship with Christ is the more you'll become like Christ.

Third, is to go in the word and find things that God desires for us to do for Him. Some examples are worship, spreading the gospel, loving others, helping the poor etc. If you are constantly always serving others and focusing on what God has already said in His Word for us to do, you'll be less self-focused because ministry and serving God is all about His glory and how to serve Him.

Fourth Pray for others. Praying for the success of others, for others to be saved, for others to change, for others to grow in their relationship with God is something I practice that helps me combat the spirit of envy, pride and even comparison. When you're constantly thinking about others, desiring for those who hurt you to be saved, for those who are in sin to change, for those succeeding to continue succeeding this is when you begin to grow a heart filled with love. You might not see it but every time you pray for others it's you interceding, going before God and surrendering their lives before Him. God hears these prayers and values the humility.

When you feel tempted to only think about yourself or sense you're thinking too much about yourself. Find someone to serve or pray for someone. Pray not only to those you know or are family but anyone. Praying for others to grow in their relationship with God or overcome their challenges are very selfless and a reflection of Jesus and the Holy Spirit who are both God interceding for us (Romans 8:34, Romans 8:26). Helping others helps you focus on how you can impact other people's lives.

All these are things I'm practising that had helped me grow and I pray you all to begin to do so as well. Pray for others, before you sleep just take those few minutes to ask God to bless a family, ask God to help someone you look up to remain in God's will ( because they get attacked too!) and pray over your leaders, the church, God's will to be done, the Gospel to be spread, different countries, family and even friends. Take time to pray for others because it honours God and is a reflection of our King. When our prayers are bigger than ourselves, this is our hearts becoming more and more selfless.

Ephesians 6:18
ESV
18 praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end, keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints,

Ephesians 6:18
NLT
18 Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.