Lil Mama

fourteen

Jackson, Kalacia ✨

"You gotta talk to somebody about it."

I woke up to everybody gone and the loud ass sound of credits playing on the screen. Getting up, I grabbed my phone and slid my feet back into my Crocs. Walking through the house, I went to Rylie's room and saw she wasn't in there. My face scrunched up as I went downstairs quietly.

Noticing the back porch opened, I went back there and saw Rylie smoking weed. She had pulled her hair up into a bun and looked as if she was tired. I made a sound on purpose so she'd know it was me. She looked back almost frightened until she saw it was me. "Girl don't do that shit. You scared me. Thought it was my mom or Janet."

"Nah, it's just me." I waved her fears off. "Let me hit." She passed it to me and I took a pull and handed it back as I let it sit on me before exhaling. "You good?"

"What you mean?"

"I mean you was just sleep and now we out here hitting weed like we stressed. You stressed?"

"Kinda. You?"

"Hella stressed. What's your problem?"

"What's yours?" She looked at me sideways.

I chuckled. "I asked yo ass first."

Rylie nodded softly as she handed the joint back to me and I took another hit. "True. Man, if I tell you this, it stays between us. Literally. Don't tell nobody, not even Janet."

Nodding, I handed it back to her as I replied. "I got you. What's up?"

"So, I'm gay. Like super gay."

"Duh. That's obvious. What's new?"

Ry made a face as we began just passing it back and forth. "You knew?"

"Hell yes. You definitely aren't just a overly damn invested tom boy. So, you're gay, we got that part. What happened?"

"There's this girl. Her names Trina. She's real cute or whatever and we vibe heavy. Like really heavy. We been talking for months, finna be 10 inna couple days but shit got complicated."

"Why?"

"Cause this bitch slept with my fathers girlfriends daughter. Her names Anna." 

My eyes widened. "Hold up. So she slept with ya dads step daughter."

"Step or whatever but she doesn't know I know. I can't really be upset because my step mom set that shit up."

"This sound like some incest shit." I replied honestly.

"Man, look, I literally was supposed to sell some dope. I ain't sell that shit and then next thing I know my step mom had that bitch Anna come in my room and show me the video of that shit. I don't know what to do. Should I tell Trina I know or?"

"Hell nah. Beat the step daughters ass." I suggested. "And you not fighting over Trina, you fighting over respect. Anna needs her ass beat and if you want me to tag that hoe for you, I'm down. Then you let Trina know that you know but you do need to trip on that chick as well. Da fuck she sleeping with other girls for? Nah. That's wack. No matter any circumstance."

Rylie nodded. "Yeah. You're right but I don't want to break up with Trina. Like, I love her a lot. I can't lose her. She loves me too."

"I don't mean to over step, but if Trina loved you she wouldn't have cheated. She wouldn't have even thought about it, let alone actually did that shit. That ain't love for her. You can find someone who actually values you. Don't you think?"

"I don't know man." She took a long pull suddenly and handed it back to me.

Quickly, I took yet another hit as I blew it out of my nose. "What don't you know?"

"Ion know if I wanna start over. We could work on it."

"You two could. That's true but it's not love. Can't be. Love doesn't punch you in your heart and stomp down on your feelings like that." I shook my head. "Hell nah, that's not love sis. I'm sorry not sorry."

She motioned for me to hand her the weed and I did. "We going to high school together and I don't wanna have no tension."

"So let her off easily. Just work on it but you don't need to be down here saying you two love each other cause it isn't so. Want me to beat Trina's ass too?"

Rylie laughed as she sat down. "Nah. You good. Man, you cool people."

"Why thank you. I try my hardest." I chuckled as I sat as well.

"But what's your problem?"

I rolled my eyes just thinking about it. "I lied to my aunt about why I'm really down here. Yes, my mother acts like crack and meth is her best friends, but I didn't quite tell ma everything."

"You call Janet ma?"

"Yeah. She practically raised me. For as long as I can remember I was with her or my grandmother. I just started calling her ma when I was little and it stuck."

"So she left you and came to Vegas?" Rylie asked to be sure as she continued to smoke the blunt. When she offered me more, I declined. I wasn't a big smoker like that and I could already feel myself lifting from this universe.

"In a way, yes, but it was her boyfriends fault and my mom made it way worse by the comments she made. Still, that isn't the point, the point is my mom did something really messed up but ion know how to tell ma without her flipping out and blaming herself."

"Something bad happened?" Rylie asked me softly as we met eye contact.

"Yeah." I mumbled back. "I don't know how to tell her though. I don't think I will."

"You got molested?" I meekly nodded to Rylie's question and she continued. "Nah, you gotta tell her that. You need to talk to somebody about that stuff. It can be depressing, my best friend went through it and she hasn't been the same person since. Would you be okay with talking to someone?"

"Probably. I mean I'm over it." I shrugged it off.

Ry shook her head as she inhaled some more weed. How was this girl not gone by now? "No you ain't Laci, if you were over it you'd be then told her already. You haven't dealt with it. It's okay if you haven't, you just need to start figuring out how you are gonna deal with it. Want me to get you a girlfriend? Girls love to listen."

My face scrunched up. "No offense to the LGBTQ community, but I don't belong in it. I'm going to stick to dudes. It's an alley that I belong in, and imma stay there."

"Suit yourself." She chuckled as she took another pull. "Your loss."