Jaggedstar's Choice {COMPLETE}

Chapter 37

Jaggedtail stepped out into the brisk early morning air, suppressing a shiver. He breathed the scent of the forest, but it didn't smell the way that it used to. Nothing was the same anymore. Jaggedtail's world had grown dull, not even prey tasted as good anymore. With a heavy sigh, Jaggedtail decided to get started with his day. It had been five long moons since Redpaw's death and nothing had felt right since that day. Jaggedtail worked hard to try and fall back into his normal life, which he had but the pain of Redpaw's death was still like a fresh wound on his pelt, it never stopped aching.

In the five moons that had passed, Mossleaf and Brakcenheart had been named warriors as well as Barkclaw earning his full medicine cat name and Ashstream had moved into the nursery expecting Rabbitwing's kits, LichenClan was thriving but Jaggedtail and Cherrypool weren't. Jaggedtail believed that he would never find his happiness again, he had been incredibly proud and happy for Brackenheart to receive his warrior name, but after the moment was over the normal pain returned.

Jaggedtail looked around camp for Daisyfern, hoping that the she-cat would have something for him to do. All he did most days was hunt and patrol all day to keep his mind off the pain. He noticed that she was talking to Elmheart and Jaggedtail's heart twisted. He had barely spoken to Elmheart since Redpaw's death.

At the time, Jaggedtail lashed out at Elmheart for starting the fight but he had a lot of time to think and he didn't really blame his best friend for the death of son, Elmheart had been justified in the fight that he started but Jaggedtail had been too scared to talk to Elmheart again. He feared that their friendship had been destroyed forever.

"Go talk to him." A gentle voice spoke from behind Jaggedtail, he looked over at Cherrypool who clearly noticed him watching Elmheart. "You need him in your life, Jaggedtail. You always have."

Jaggedtail took a deep breath. "I know, I miss him but..." His voice trailed off. "I don't know how to fix it, or what to say."

"Just talk." Cherrypool nudged him forward. "Let him know what you're feeling, I'm sure that Elmheart has been dying to try and be there for you, but he's scared too."

Jaggedtail sighed. "Alright." He nuzzled Cherrypool, the only thing that still kept him going was her. I couldn't do this without her. Jaggedtail thought, giving her a quick lick on the cheek before going towards Elmheart. He approached his old friend, dragging his friends. "Hey."

Elmheart looked at Jaggedtail his eyes going wide. "H-hey, what's up? Trying to get on a patrol?"

"N-no," Jaggedtail avoided his gaze. "I want to talk to you, actually."

"Alright..." Elmheart looked at Daisyfern. "I'll be right back." Jaggedtail didn't say anything else as they walked out of camp to find a secluded place to talk. "What did you want to talk about?"

Jaggedtail took a deep breath and sat down. "Look, I'm sorry about what I said--back during the battle." His voice cracked at the thought of Redpaw's death. "I was just...so shocked, so hurt and so torn apart, I needed someone to blame. I didn't want to accept that he was dead."

"You're not the one who should be apologizing, Jaggedtail." Elmheart mewed quietly. "I'm the one who started the fight, I should've just let Blossomheart take the prey. Nothing was worth the life of your son." Elmheart looked up towards the sky. "Every since that day I've been questioning everything I do, I didn't know if you ever wanted to speak to me again."

"I did," Jaggedtail sighed. "I just didn't know how, everything hurt, everything still hurts. I don't know how to go on without Redpaw, nothing has felt right since he died and I don't know if I can handle it anymore."