Her and only Her [YurixNatsuki]

[2] Hurt

Warning! Contains selfharm!
Yuri's POV
I tried to stay calm. Not to flinch or even to breath. "DAMNIT!" I screamed. Making even more cuts on my wrist. Blood was spreading from the cuts. So dark, so much, so hurtful yet so calming and satisfying. You deserve this...
Tears were streaming down my face. It hurts so much...
Suddenly I heard the doors open. Some girls went inside the bathroom. Maybe cutting myself in the girls toilets at school wasn't my best idea. I quickly took my razor and rushed outside. I put my sleeves down and winced from the pain. Then I remembered. Today is the club meeting! What time is it? I looked at the clock above me. Oh no! I'm going to be late! I ran as fast as I could to the club room. I opened the doors with heavy breaths. ""Sorry for the wait! I hope you didn't start yet. I've got distracted!" I enterd the doors and saw four other students standing together. "Ah so you must be Yuri?"
The tallest from them, Monika I think asked. "Yes that's right. It's a pleasent to meet all of you". I tried my best to be polite and smiled. I first introduced myself to Monika since she's the president. Then I've met MC. He was so kind and...cute. Wait What!? Yuri you've just met him! You can't have a crush on him. Next was Sayori. She was so cheerful and happy to meet me. She's like the complete opposite of me...but I guess it's not that bad. She seems nice. The last person was a small pink haired girl. She seems so familiar. "Uhm..."
Omg that's the girl who screamed in the halls that manga was literature. "What?" She asked in a high annoying yet cute voice. I couldn't help but smile at her.
"Just thinking about something heh. What's your name?" I asked polity again. "It's Natsuki if you care. But don't think we're friends now or something." She crossed her arms while she was glaring at me. Geez what's her problem? My mood changed to a pissed on. "Well I didn't want to be your friend at first so it's fine for me." Natsuki definitely didn't like the answer but she just shrugged it of as it was nothing. Tsundere. I don't like such a type of girl. She does look cute when she's angry though...
Wait what the hell? That's a girl Yuri. It was already terrible by MC but a girl? Really? Father and Mother won't like this so forget about these thoughts. Don't get me wrong. I have nothing against THESE people but I really don't want to be a part of them.
Natsuki made a hmpf sound and joined MC with Sayori. Monika came to me. "Don't worry about her. She's  just not comfortable with us yet. It'll get better I promise." She was really nervous. You can tell Monika was trying so hard that we get along with each other. "But it's not my fault if Natsuki is acting like a jerk." I gasped after I said this. Monika looked more nervous now and kinda confused. "Oh my forgive me for my words. I've got angry. Didn't mean it like that." She nodded slowly. Hope she doesn't have a bad look of me now. I really want to join this club. Drinking some tea while reading and talking about books is my favourite hobby. Maybe I can read with MC...
"BOO!" Sayori hugged me from behind. "EEEK!" I yelled. "Did I scare you?" She asked playfully. "Please don't do this again." I said with fear in my eyes. I held my chest and breathed in and out. Trying to calm myself down. Sayori changed her face to a worried one. "Sorry. I didn't know it would be so horrible for you." She excused herself. It's not your fault Sayori. It's just my stupid anxiety.
"It's fine. Anyways. Do you need something?" I asked her. She grinned.
"Nope. Just want to get to know you. You seem kinda quiet but nice." I smiled a little bit. That's what I think is a good person. Not this Natsuki girl.
"Don't worry about Natsuki. She ignored me once ya know? She just needs some time to open up I think."
I couldn't believe what she said. "That girl ignored you?" Sayori got nervous. Just like Monika earlier. "Ehehehe well yes but she apologised so I think...that's a good sign?"
"But still, that wasn't really nice of her." Sayori stopped listening and looked behind me. She gave me a warning sign. I turned around and saw the devil itself. "I heard that ya know?" She crossed her arms again. God I can't stand this girl. "Well it's rude to ignore people and act like a little bitch YA KNOW?" I yelled but felt guilty after it. I didn't want to yell at her or insult her. Sometimes I'm just freaking out without knowing it.
"I apologised! Plus I was in a bad mood because of my da-"
She quickly stopped herself from talking more. She breathed heavily and her eyes were wet. She sighed and with an 'whatever' and turned away from me. Did I go too far?
"That was...not good." Sayori looked at me with a sad face. "I didn't ask her to talk to me about it." Sayori shook her head and went to Natsuki. "Talk to you later 'kay?" She asked. I nodded in agreement. I turned around just to make sure that I didn't hurt Natsuki that much. I turned around and my heart broke when I saw her face. She looked so sad. Crying madly and trying to avoid Sayoris embrace. MC was saying something to calm her down. Monika just stood silent between us. She wasn't prepared for this drama on the first day of course.
So I went too for. Maybe I rembered her of something that happend to her. She was going to tell me something. It must be so hurtful for her. I could feel Monikas eyes gazing on me. This day was even more horrible as I thought it was now. Natsuki run away. "WAIT!" Sayori wanted to go after her but MC laid his hand on her shoudler, shaking his head. Monika came to me. "I think you should search her." She said. I shook my head. "I don't think she wants to see me right now." Monika sighed and looked more warmly now. "I know she might be acting rude and stuff but I think something makes her not trust people or even talk to them properly. But I know what could help you both." She said. "And what?" Monika went silent for a moment before she spoke again: "Apologize. Show her that you care. Like with a..."
She smiled nervously at me. "A hug?"
She giggled.
"I was going to say a kiss but close one."
She winked at me. My face heated up. Why all of sudden?
The other girl seemed to notice how uncomfortable I am and quickly told me that she was joking. "You're right. I should apologize. Thank you for your advice Monika-San."
"Just Monika." (Get It? Heh).
MC and Sayori joined us. "I really hope she's okay." Sayori was really worried. "Me too." MC said.