Broken Vows

Chapter Thirty

Yufa

I don't need to see all of his face to know it was him. His eyes alone screams the name of the man I desperately wanted to forget. How could I even forget those pair of silver eyes that I admired so much and at the same time frightened me to my core. His eyes didn't lost it's icy demeanor, still sharp and deadly. But I no longer see the coldness in it. Instead I saw a shattered man. His once neatly combed hair grew long that run pasts his ears down to the base of his neck. His facial hair grew wild around his chin that was once clean shaven and properly trimmed. Gone were his tailored suits and his shiny shoes and was replaced with baggy clothes and a pair of leather sandals. He was generally clean but he was far from the man I used to know. Nathan stood there frozen at the door, his other hand tucked into one of the pockets of his jeans. He lost some weight too judging by how his cheekbones softly poked out in his face.

I wasn't prepared to see him. It's too early. The wounds he caused me are still fresh and are terribly hurting me just by looking at him right now. The painful memories that I kept hidden at the farthest corners of my head are coming back like film strip, playing unceremoniously on my periphery. Not only are the memories coming back but also the emotions that drowned me like a helpless butterfly I was in the middle of the ocean, hurting me like it only happened yesterday. I wasn't mentally and physically prepared to see the man that ruined me nor will I ever be. My knees felt weak and wobbly, and my eyes stung.

"Good Morning, Sir. Welcome to Johann's Wedding Bells. How may I help you?" Merise, one of my employees, greeted him in her heavily accented tongue. He didn't look away, he kept staring back at me like he didn't expected this would happen too.

What is he doing here anyway? Did Arriane lost her mind and told him where I was? I quickly dismissed that thought since Nathan himself wanted divorce even before I decided to do so. He hated me enough that he wouldn't want anything to do with me. His addiction only gives me the idea that he celebrated too much after we got separated. I know this was all childish thoughts but I would gladly believe any tales than have a tiniest drop of hope that he came looking for me. I wanted to believe this is just a mere coincidence because my stupid heart listens to the faint voice inside me that screamed he indeed was looking for me. As much as possible, any budding emotion that threatened to sprout needs to be cut immediately. I canmot afford to lose myself again in this attraction that I cannot deny towards him. I'm not prepared to see him, I wanted to forget him but if I'm to be honest to myself, all this time Nathan never left my mind. I kept pushing his thoughts away but they all keep coming back whenever they wanted to. Letting him slither his way into life would be like reading the same fairytale over again, you always knew how it started and how does it ends. The difference is that fairytales have a happily ever after ending while mine was a tragic one. The idea of losing another part of my soul terrifies me to the point that I'm scared to trust even myself.

"A diamond ring, honey. I want a diamond ring." A brunette woman slithered her arms around Nathan's. She purred loud enough to announce her presence. I was too focused on him that I haven't notice the leech with him. She spoke English which means she is not a French nor Spanish. She was not the woman Nathan calls Miranda and I knew her face very well that it was tattoed on my memory.

A bitter laugh rung on my head. Why would I expect any better? Not only he is addicted but a great womanizer too. There is no way he came looking for me, I was right all along. This is just coincidence, a mere coincidence. But heck, I wasn't happy. I wasn't glad that I was right. What's wrong with me? I felt irritated. I wanted to break the brunette's hand that touched the glass casings of my jewelries.

Everything inside me was quickly errupting into a chaos of emotion. I don't know exactly how I feel. One time I was sad and hoping, now I am angry amd irritated. I am not even entitled into feeling this emotions since I don't have anything to do with him. We have separate lives and we were both free to do as we pleases but why? I am on the verge of breaking down again. My body is about to give into the welcoming arms of the cold marble. I quickly turned around, unable to control my emotions and walked away.

"Yufa..." He called out to me. I stopped dead on mu tracks but I never turned to look at him. I fought against my urge to turn around and snap at him but I'm not giving him the satisfaction. He is still Nathan, that is not capable of anything other than cruelty and selfishness. I'm gonna keep the wall between us strong and even high enough that he cannot fathom to reach. My heart maybe telling me to lower them but like I said, enough is enough. I'm done. I continued to walk away and into the small room that hides behind the walls, I hid myself from the prying eyes and softly cried my tears to oblivion.

***

I didn't know how long I stayed hidden inside my room. I cried for a couple of minutes before blankly staring at my neatly arranged office. My mind is practically occupied with unwanted thoughts that can't be narrowed down into words. I heard a several knocks on my door but I was too occupied to even care about that. Let them handle things on their own, I just don't have the strength to even smile at them.

When my thoughts was finally cleared and felt my strength returned to my limbs, I gathered myself and decided it's time to return to business. I strengthened myself and opened the door leading towards my waiting employees.

Instead of seeing the familiar faces of them, I saw hundreds of roses piled up inside my little shop.

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A/n

Roses huh. What do you think about the roses? Let me know.

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---Maiah❤