The Young Lioness

Trying Times

The journey back to the capital was much longer than Joanna had expected. She was so absent minded sometimes that time flew, other times, like most of the entire journey, she was so focused on what she was doing that time seemed to stop. When Joanna finally arrived at KingsLanding, she thought, I'm finally here...it's about time.
As usual, Joanna left the horse at the gates of the city and made her way walking to the Red Keep. "My lady, we've been expecting you. Lord Tywin wants to see you." said a guard as soon as she arrived at the gates of the Keep. Joanna only nodded and let the guard escort her to the Hand's chambers. How did they manage to get more intelegent guards at the gates?, she thought to herself while walking to the chambers.
The guard opened the door and let her in, then he went back to his post. Once inside the chambers, Joanna saw her father siting at the end of the long table, for council meetings, and her sister siting next to him. Joanna looked at him suspiciously and discretly slided her hand to the hilt of Sharp Claw, in order to calm down. After little time of unbearable silence and strange looks, Joanna finally spoke, "What is so important that it can't wait until I get settled in?". She was not in the mood for games or stupid small talk. "Now, that you're 18, I have to talk to you about somthing important." her father said serious and yet with caution. "Why does she have to be here for that?" Joanna asked looking at Cersei. "Because, sweet sister, the matter is of good interess to me. And father thought I could help him with it." Cersei answered smiling. "Don't play games with me, Cersei. I'm not in the mood for it, nor do I fancy them." Joanna warned her. "Stop it, the two of you! Joanna take a sit." Tywin comanded them. Joanna and Cersei looked at each other with a defiyng look and then at their father. "I'm fine, thank you, father." Joanna said politely. "As you wish. You have to marry. You're 18 and I hope you have the mind to agree with that-" her father was saying. "I will not marry. I will not spend my life atached to someone I don't even like, just because you want baby Lannisters and you refuse to give the rights of our house to the person it belongs to or because she wants me out of KingsLanding for good." she said seriously and angry. "Don't be like that, sweet sister. It will not be as bad as you put it. I was 17, when I married Robert and I'm fine." Cersei said trying to convince her. You're not fine. You're mad. And you had Jaime. I don't have anyone, Joanna thought to herself. "I don't care what you want or not. You will wed and that's final." her father said, severe. "I will not!-" Joanna was saying. "Father go on. With whom will you would have her marry? Someone good and decent, I hope." Cersei said with a bit of honesty still, for some reason that Joanna could not quite understand. "You will wed Loras Tyrell. And when you're pregnant with his child, the boy will be Lord of the Reach and Lord of Casterly Rock." Tywin said seriously looking at his youngest daughter. Joanna was in shock, she did not know what to say. Loras was a good lad, however Joanna spent enough time with him to understand that his friendship with Renly Baratheon was more than that. She did not blame him or judge him for that, but she knew that, as she could never love him because her heart belonged to someone else, he could never love her either, and that would result in a life of misery. "Loras Tyrell?! You will wed her to Loras Tyrell? Didn't you heard the rumours?!" Cersei said surprised. She didn't know. Is she trying to defend me? She was the one who wanted me to marry in the first place, Joanna thought to herself. "Yes, I am. I don't care what the rumours are and we need this alliance. Now, I have matters to attend to. Joanna, we'll talk tomorrow." Tywin said and then left without waiting for an answer. Only after he left, did Joanna looked at Cersei with both hate and confusion in her eyes. "Look, I didn't know it was with Loras Tyrell.-" Cersei was saying in a tone of apology. "I don't care what you knew or didn't know! You know, I don't want to marry someone that I don't love. You knew and you helped father anyway!" Joanna said angry. "It won't be that bad. I have to get you away from Joffrey. And if you want to be with someone other than him, then you can. Even more so because he perfers other companies." Cersei said trying to sound as it was easy. "That isn't fair, for me, for him or for the other companies, mine or his! I can't endure an arranged marriage and I will not!" Joanna almost yelled at her sister. However, you're right about Joffrey and you don't know even half of it, Joanna thought. "You will have children. Even if they aren't Loras's. They will make you happy and you will make them happy, that's the only thing that matter. Just like me." Cersei explained. "Your children don't know who their real father is. You know how much it hurts him? I assume you don't. Because if you did, you wouldn't be fucking Lancel." Joanna said angry with her sister, it just came out of her mouth, she needed a blackmail confrontation and that was the only information she had. "What are you tallking about?" Cersei asked lying. "You heard me. Just know this, I won't marry and even if father makes me, the next one will be you." Joanna warned her. She knew it was the truth, this time she could not see an escape to this arrangement. "Father won't marry me. Not again." Cersei said with certainty. "Oh, yes, he will. If not to continue the linage, to stop the rumours about you and Jaime." Joanna said and left without waiting for an answer. She did not want to hear her sister trying to convince her to marry. Above all, she did not want to fight. She was tired. I have to find the only person that might have the slighest idea of get me out of this damned non-sense marriage, Joanna thought and then she went to find her brother.
However, first Joanna made a stop in her room to remove her armour. She still kept the dark red leather tunic and brown leather pants, she had undermeath. On the way to her room, she had heard at least five girls giggling like they had heard some scandalous rumour, Joanna had just rolled her eyes and had passed by them, still she could swear that the girls had fallen deadly silent when they had seen her, What? Never seen a woman in armour before?, Joanna had thought to herself anoyed.
After Joanna was done, she made her way to her brother chambers, she hoped he would be there. Every corridor she passed, girls were giggling childishly and falling into silence when they saw her. What's the matter with everyone today?, Joanna thought anoyed and a bit curious. She was walking through another corridor, empty at last, when she saw Shae. Immediately, Joanna went to her, "Shae! It's so good to see you again." "It's good to see you too, Joanna. I didn't know you're back. I'm glad you are." Shae said giving her a hug. "How is everything?" Joanna asked concerned. "Everything is fine. Sansa is happier and has finally a friend. Margery Tyrell. She is a good girl." Shae explained. "Good. If Margery is anything like her brother, they have a good heart." Joanna said. She could not say his name, it still made her feel sick the idea of marrying someone she did not love. "Can I ask you a question?" Joanna asked. "Sure. What is it?" Shae asked, curious. "Why is every girl in this Keep giggling childishly and, when I pass, they fell silent?" Joanna asked, curious. Shae looked at her with soft and suprised eyes, then she asked, "You don't know?" "I don't know what? What happened?" Joanna asked curiously. "Well, Pod went to Littlefinger's brothel and aparently he was so good that the girls didn't charge him." Shae said in a whisper. Joanna's blood ran cold. With all the family matters, she had not gone to see Pod yet and by then she found this rumour that had spred across the Keep like a plague. He went to a brothel? Pod?, Joanna thought to herself still in shock. Then she looked at Shae and her face gave away that there was more to the rumour. So, Joanna nodded and she continue, "It was known in a heart beat, here in the Keep. And...well, the girls think that you and Pod...you know, there is something between you and, now there is this rumour and you weren't here...I'm sorry, I know you two are just friends." "I got it. How- Why- He-..." it was all she could say, the words did not left her mouth. She was angry and in shock. No one had the right to know about her life or whom she liked. And Pod going to the brothel was the last thing she expected. After sometime to take it in, Joanna finally found her words, "I should be used to rumours by now. How come he went to the brothel? He is a squire, I wonder where he found the money for it." Joanna said frustrated and trying to hide her anger. "Your brother gave it to him. He said it was his reward for saving his life." Shae explained honestly. "I'm going to kill them both!" Joanna said, angry. She could not contain herself anymore. It had been her brother who sent him?! Why Tyrion?! Why?! Couldn't you get him other thing than a trip to the brothel?!, Joanna thought furiouse. "Oh, gods! You like Pod! I should never have told you that." Shae said embarrased and suprised. "Of course you should have told me! How could I kill them if I didn't know it?" Joanna said angry but also a bit sarcastic. "What are you going to do now?" Shae asked, curious. "Now, I'm going to find, my dear brother." Joanna said sharply. "I wouldn't like to be in his place. Give him hell." Shae said blinking. Joanna nodded and headed to Tyrion's chambers. On her  way, Joanna found Ser Bronn of the Blackwater, as they called him by then. He stopped and said, "Hey, you back." " Do you know where Tyrion is?" Joanna asked . "In his chambers. Why?" Bronn asked suspiciously. "You might want to call a maester when I find him." Joanna said with cold sarchasm. "Find 'bout Pod, didn't ye?" he said almost comfirming it. Joanna nodded and mooved away in the direction of Tyrion's chambers. "Told him, it was bad idea!" Bronn yelled. "You should have tried harder!" Joanna yelled back at him, however she did not look back.
When she got to her brother's chambers, she knocked and he opened the door letting her in. She passed through him into the room quickly. "Good to have you back, little sister." Tyrion said closing the door. "Why in the Seven fucking Hells did you sent him to the fucking brothel?!" Joanna almost yell at him. "I don't know what you're talking about. Sent who where?" Tyrion said trying to sound like he genuinely did not know what she was talking about. Shit! I should have listen to Bronn, Tyrion thought to himself. "I think you know exactly what and who I'm talking about." Joanna said anoyed. "Are you talking about Pod?" Tyrion said with caution. "No, I'm talking about White Walkers. Of course, I'm talking about Pod!" Joanna snapped. "Allright. Yes, I sent him to the brothel." he admited at last. "Why, Tyrion? Why did you do that?" she asked disapointed. Joanna never thought her brother would do that. "Because, I wanted to give the lad a reward. And, I can't pay him and Joffrey would never name him a knight." Tyrion explained. "So you sent him to the brothel?" Joanna concluded. "So I sent him to the brothel and he had his first. And he did one hell of a job." Tyrion admited in an apologic tone. "And you didn't think I might have feelings for him? Or didn't care about the rumours?" Joanna asked angry. "Look, you had gone to the Rock without any word. He was sad and I didn't know how you felt about him. The last time we spoke of it, you said you didn't know. I couldn't give him anything but that. I'm sorry, if you don't like it. As for the rumours I really don't know what you're talking about." Tyrion explained calmly. "Every girl in this Keep knows how...good...he is and thinks him and I are toghether. And that's not the worse part..." she said sadly and angry, before her voice trailed off. "The worse part is that you love him and now you can't confront him because you two aren't toghether. And every girl thinks he betrayed you because you fleed to the Rock." Tyrion said trying to comfort her. "Yes. I love him. I hope he likes me too. I'm not so sure anymore." Joanna admited. "He could have gone to the brothel again a million times and he only went that time. That says something. He loves you, I am an excellent judge of characters, I know it." Tyrion assured her. They love each other, but are too stupid to admit it out of fear, Tyrion thought to himself. Why would he love me? I'm no lady, Joanna thought to herself sadly. All her life, she heard the girls saying that the boys would rather flee in a battle than have to endure their lady been better than them at sword fighting. Joanna put these words hiden away in her brain, still from time to time they poped up, like in this moment. "Why would he love me, Tyrion? I'm no lady and boys don't want a woman that is better than them at their skill, like sword fighting." Joanna asked sadly. "Hey, you may not be a lady, but since when Pod is like that stupid boys? If he wanted a lady he would have fallen for Sansa. He fell for you. You alone, your personality, your skills, your beauty...everything. He fell for that." Tyrion said suprised at her insecurity. She was never like this, at least when I was around. She really loves him, he thought to himself. "Did he? Then why he went to the brothel?" Joanna said angry again. She knew she should not get angry with Pod, they were not toghether. Gods, he doesn't even know I love him. I shouldn't get angry with him, but... Joanna thought to herself closing her hand in a fist. Tyrion saw her hand and then looked at her with soft eyes. I have to make her understand, he thought. Joanna looked at her brother and tried to contain her tears. She was angry and sad, that hurt because she had sworn to herself that she would never be let down by a lad again. She had hoped that Pod was different and eventhough she knew her brother would never judge her, she did not want to cry in front of him. Therefore, she looked away from him. "After you left, he was sad. I asked him why he was like that and he would say that he was tired, nothing more. Until one day, Bronn and I could get him to confess. He said, 'Last time I saw her, she was a bit shaken and her hands were covered in blood. Now, she left. I'm worried.'. I found it was because of you leaving that he was sad. So, I had the idea. I don't know what happened in the night of the battle, but whatever it was he left him shaken too. I didn't tell him this, but when I woke up I heard him saying, 'I'll come-" Tyrion was saying, "Back. I promise.' I told him that. The night of the battle, he begged me to not die and grabbed my hand. I forgot the rage for a moment and I looked at him and said that exact words." Joanna confessed finishing her brother's sentence. "What more do you need? Go talk to him. Clear things up." Tyrion said tyring to convince her. "I can't face him right now, without yelling at him. And I can't do that. Besides what good will that do if father marries me to Loras Tyrell?" Joanna said anoyed. She was still angry. "Father wants you to marry Loras Tyrell?" Tyrion asked suprised. "Yes and this time I don't think I can escape." Joanna said sadly. "I'll think about something, don't worry. I would have got on it sooner, but I don't talk to father about those matters since I asked him for Casterly Rock and he turned me down." Tyrion said. "You know I will never take the Rock right? I won't marry just because father wants baby Lannisters or because Cersei wants me out of KingsLanding. The Rock is your birth right, not mine." Joanna said clearly. "I know. You should rest, you arrived today right?" Tyrion said. "Yes, I'm going to my chambers. See you tomorrow." Joanna said and then left to her chambers.
However , when she left through the door, Podrick was leaning on the wall next to it. Joanna moved as fast as she could, pretending she did not see him. "Joanna, you're back!" Pod said going after her. She could not ingnore him, by then so she just said, "Hello.", more coldly than she expected it to be said, as she kept walking to her room. "Wait. What happened? Why are you like this?" Pod said still following her. "Nothing. I'm fine." Joanna said immediately, never stopping walking. She knew that, if she stopped, she would yell at him and then he would know she loved him and this was not the way to tell him and she did not have any right to be angry with him, for him going to the brothel on the first place, because they were not toghether. "You clearly are not fine. I know you long enough to know that-" Pod was saying before he was interupted. "I don't want to talk about it!" Joanna said almost yelling, as she saw the door and rushed to it, entereing the room and closing the door behind her. The only thing she knew was that Pod did not follow her there, after she said she did not wanted to talk about what had happened.
Joanna leaned against the door as soon as it closed, letting her body colapse and her tears fell, siting in the floor against the door. She was angry with her father, her sister and still a bit with her brother and she was sad with Pod. Actually, all she could think about was Pod and all the things he did to that girls in the brothel. Joanna hated it, she hated to be like that because of a boy. She had sworn to not be like this, since Damon. If Jaime was not at the Rock that day, she did not want to think about what she might have done, because she was always a bit impulsive when her emotions were boiling at the surface. He was there and he stucked around for the next two days to make sure that she was not doing anything stupid. He is not here now. Stop acting like a stupid, childish, in love girl and face the problem like the woman you are, Joanna told herself, however the tears did not stop falling. Joanna could not stop crying, for much as she tried. This is worse than that fucking nightmare. Damn it! I have to stop. Tomorrow I have to tell my father I don't want to marry and I can't be like this. But it hurts so damn much! Why did he have to go to the fucking brothel? Why did my own brother have to send him there? Why does every girl in this damned place has to know about him? Is it so clear that I like him to rumours to be spred? Fuck! Stop it, Lannister!, Joanna thought to herself as she stood up from the door and laid on the bed. Seeing that she could not stop the crying or the anger, Joanna just tried to relax and the sleep ended up coming at last. This night was spent without any dreams, however the morning begun with a huge headache.