The Young Lioness

The Wall (What if...)

They finally arrived at the gate of Castle Black. Someone shouted, "Open the gate!" and slowly the gate began to open, Joanna felt a chill running through her body, they were about to find out something bad, she could feel it. Pod had not released his hold yet and Joanna did not mind it, it felt good and as soon as they entered through that gate it would all be over.
The gate opened and they entered, once inside they got out from the horses. Sansa was looking around until she saw her half-brother, Jon Snow. He went to her as soon as he set eyes upon her and they hugged thightly. Joanna remembered the childhood days at the Rock with her brothers, she missed them. She missed practicing with Jaime, she missed talking with Tyrion and his stories. She still did not know why he did what he did, however she had forgiven him. It had to be a good reason. Above all, she missed their teasing, it was silly and it did not make sense most of the time, however it was fun and she loved it.
Then they went inside, "This my brother, Jon. Jon, these are Lady Brienne of Tarth, Podrick Payne and Lady Joanna...Lannister, they saved me and they're my friends." Sansa explained him. "In that case, I'm Jon, it's a honor to meet you." Jon said. "Likewise." they said. Then, Joanna, Brienne and Pod went to the stables, because Jon and Sansa had to talk and the horses needed to be tended to. "This place isn't so bad." Pod said. "It's nice actually, if you don't pay attention to the looks." Joanna said, the men in the yard had looked at them all the time they had been entering through that gate. "Did you two just agree on something?" Brienne asked suprised. "It's the Wall effect." Joanna said. "Then we're never leaving. I'm going to find Sansa. I think she is at her chambers." Brienne said. "I'll meet you there." Joanna said and Brienne left. She and Pod finished tending the horses in silence. "I'll see you later." Joanna said. "Yes. See you later." Pod said and then Joanna left.
Joanna went to meet Sansa and Brienne. She was walking through a corridor when two man came to her. "Hey, my lady, do want to have fun tonight?" one of them said. "We can show you how a man does a proper job." the other one said. Not even in your dreams, Joanna thought, she had to make up a lie to stop them without it going down into a fight. Then she had an idea, "I don't think my husband would like that." Joanna said. The men looked a bit sad and she thought that she had gotten out of that one, when she heard a voice saying behind her, "I didn't know you were married, my lady." It was Jon, Sansa's brother. Shit, Joanna thought. "I am. With Podrick." Joanna said, she had no idea why she said that, she had pannicked. "How did your father allow that marriage, if you don't mind me asking, my lady?" Jon asked. "He didn't, we married in secret, I trust you to not spred the rumours, my lord." Joanna answered. "Of course, I'm going to provide private quarters for you." Jon said. "Thank you, my lord. Now, if you excuse me." Joanna said and then left and headed to Sansa's chambers. Did he just say? Oh gods, no! No! This is not happening! Can't be! I'm not going to have to share a room with Pod in the most freezing place in this world!, Joanna thought reaching the chambers. She opened the door entered and closed the door behind her, "I need your help. I'm in trouble." Joanna said. "What happened?" Sansa asked. "I-I just told Jon that me and Pod were married and he-he said that he would provide private quarters. I-I'm freaking out." Joanna explained. "Why did you tell him that?" Brienne asked. "There were these men pincking on me and I told them that my husband wouldn't like it because it was the only way out, without a fight. He just came up behind me, I had to continue with the lie." Joanna answered. "What are you going to do now?" Sansa asked. "I don't know. I can't share a room with him, I can't." Joanna said walking through the room. "Allright, calm down. He will understand." Brienne said. "I can't calm down. If the horse was bad enough, this is worst. I-I don't even know how to tell him." Joanna said. "Relax, he's Pod, he won't do anything." Sansa said. "I'm not worried about what he might do, I'm worried about what I might do. I have zero self-control when my emotions are boiling on the surface and they are way past breaking point now." Joanna said. "Stay away from the wine and you'll be fine." Brienne said. "It will be awkward. I-I don't- I can't- do this." Joanna said. "I can explain it to Jon, if you want." Sansa said. "No, I'm a Lannister, if I tell the former Lord Comander that I lied to him, it'll be the end of me trying to bring honor to my house again." Joanna said. "Then go talk to Pod. Explain what happened to him and presuade him into helping you and do not fight him. Besides, we've been sharing a room at Winterfell for months, it'll be allright." Brienne said. "I couldn't fight right now even if I wanted to. Believe me, I'm trying. In that room, none of us slept in the bed and it wasn't freezing cold." Joanna said. "Joanna, think about it this way, now you have one more excuse for him to have his arms around you again. I mean is freezing cold in here." Sansa said smiling. "Sansa Stark! Really?" Joanna said blushing."What? You said you liked it." Sansa said. "And you two stopped fighting after it." Brienne said. "You know, what?" Joanna said. "What?" Sansa and Brienne asked at the same time. "I can't wait for you to see my brothers again." Joanna said smiling. "That's not fair." Brienne said. "Yes, it is. One more question, is it bad if I didn't stay away from the wine, because Tyrion's always saying that-" Joanna said. "Don't even think about it!" Brienne and Sansa said at the same time. "Fine. Fine. I'll see you later." Joanna said.
Then Joanna left and went to talk to Podrick. Allright, come on, stay calm and everything will be allright, Joanna thought while walking to where he was. When she got the first glimpse of him, she thought, This is it, Lannister, come on. Go talk to him.
Joanna arrived to where he was and said as casualy as she could , "Hey, Pod. Can I talk to you?" "Of course." Pod said. "Before I say anything, I swear I didn't want this to happen." Joanna said. "But?" Pod asked. "I was in a tight situation. These two man wanted to mess with me and I didn't want to pick a fight here, so I had to escape it some other way, so I told them I was married...to you." Joanna explained. "Really? Allright, just tell me who they are and I'll play along." Pod said. He knew that she had had a complicated situation like that in the past and he would not let it happen again, ever. "Thank you, but there's more to it." Joanna said looking down. "Yes?" Pod asked. "Sansa's brother came up behind me and he heard and he's a gentleman and then he said that he would provide...private quarters. There, I've said it!" Joanna said. Podrick just looked a her without saying a thing. Joanna was worried that he would say no. "Please, Pod. I can't lie to the Lord Comander, at least not now. Please." Joanna said. "F-fine. I'll help you. We are friends right? Friends help each other." Pod said, he did not know how he could say the word 'friends' twice without trowing up. "Right. Thank you, Pod. I owe you one." Joanna said relieved and then thought, Can you please stop saying the fucking word 'friends'?!.
Then, they went to the room where they would have dinner. Just outside the door Joanna said, "Take my hand. We have to act like a couple." Podrick did as she said and took her hand. "Again, thank you." Joanna said. "You don't have to thank me." Pod said smiling. They entered the room and took a sit next to each other. Joanna noticed that there was a man, a wildling, whose name was Tormund Giantsbane, or so she had heard, and  he was looking at Brienne with preying eyes. Joanna looked at Pod and then moved her eyes to the man and Pod saw what was going on. They did their best to not giggle because they knew that the man would not stand a chance. Jaime, wherever you are, you better hurry up North, Joanna thought. During dinner, Jon recieved a letter from Ramsay Bolton with treaths. Joanna was really angry with him and could kill him right there just for what he did to Sansa. She closed her hand in a fist at some point and Pod put his hand on top of hers. If they were going to pretend they were a couple at least they were going to do it right.
After dinner everybody left except for Joanna, Pod and Brienne, "You've got an admirer." Joanna said to Brienne. "Unfortunately, I noticed." Brienne said. "He didn't stop looking at you the whole dinner." Pod said. "I'm not interested." Brienne said. "We know, we saw it." Joanna said. "Then stop anoying me with it." Brienne said. "Fine. We better get some sleep." Joanna said with a giggle. "Will you two be allright?" Brienne asked. "We'll be allright. Don't worry." Pod said. "Yeah, he's right." Joanna said.
Brienne left to her chambers and then Joanna and Podrick went to their room. They entered and then Joanna said, "You can have the bed, I'll sleep on the floor." There was no way that she would get in bed with him. "No way, it's freezing in here. If anyone is going to sleep on the floor, it will be me." Pod said, he would not let her freeze. "If it's cold for me, it's cold for you too." Joanna rebutted. "I don't mind it." Pod said. "We can't be fighting over this. We both stay on the bed, each on their side." Joanna said. "Allright." Pod said. "Turn around, I need to change." Joanna said blushing. "What about this, we turn and, when we both are changed, we turn back. Preventing misunderstandings..." Pod said shyly. "Yes, that's what I meant. Sorry." Joanna said. Shit!, Joanna thought.
Then they turned around and changed. Joanna dressed a long tunic and pants and Pod put on a shirt and pants. "I'm ready. When you are too just let me know." Pod said. "I'm ready too." Joanna said and slowly they turned back to each other. Then after sometime they got into bed, each one turned to their sides. "Good night." Pod said. "Good night." Joanna said too.
Next day morning the awkward situation repeated itself. They changed and got down for breakfast, holding hands. They did not even have to pretend, because everyone could see they loved each other, but them. After breakfast, Joanna went to meet Sansa and Brienne. "Hey, what's going on?" Joanna asked. "I recieved a letter from Littlefinger." Sansa said. "What does he want?" Joanna asked suspiciously. "To give me the knights of the Vale. We're going to meet with him in Mole Town." Sansa said. "Do you want to come?" Brienne asked. "If you want Littlefinger alive, I don't think I should go with you." Joanna said. "Allright. How did it go last night?" Brienne asked. "It went well. Just it was so awkward. We were in bed and all I could think about was when we would give in to it." Joanna said. "You just have to do it one more night." Sansa said. "It would be so much easier if-" Joanna was saying. "Don't even think about it. It will be worse. You might regret it later." Brienne said. "I know, I know. I won't do anything." Joanna said. "See you later." Sansa said. Joanna nodded and then went away. She spent the rest of the day training with Pod in the yard.
At night after dinner, Joanna had an idea to relieve the tension, it might go wrong, however she did not care, besides what could go wrong? It was just wine. She took a bottle of Dornish Red wine and went to their room, Pod was there. "Why did you take so long?" Pod asked concerned. "I went. to get this." Joanna said showing him the bottle. "What for?" Pod asked confused. Joanna served two cups with it and then delivered one to him. "Last night was awkward, at least. This might help to relieve the tension." Joanna explained. "Are you sure about this?" Pod asked. "No. But we can try." Joanna said. Then they both drank the cup. After a few cups, they were already a bit drunk, not enough to pass out, but enough to not think straight. "Can I ask you a question?" Joanna asked out of the blue. "Sure." Pod answered. "Why did you told me that we should remain friends after the kiss?" Joanna asked, not even thinking about it. "Well, it could raise issues between you and your family, if we were together, I didn't want to be the cause for you to be sad." Pod answered honestly. "Wow. I didn't think about it that way. But, I was sad because I wanted us to be together." Joanna said. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you. That was the last thing I wanted." Pod said. "It's allright. Woah, it's freezing in here." Joanna said. "Come here." Pod said then he stood up from where they were siting and Joanna went to him, he embraced her and she rested her head on his shoulder. "Thank you." Joanna breathed against him. "You don't have to thank me." Pod said rubbing her arm. Then Joanna lifted her head and looked at him, he looked at her. Then the wine began to work and she kissed him deeply. He kissed her back the same way and then after pulling apart to breath, they locked eyes with each other, their eyes were shining. They had no idea what they were doing, however once they started, they knew that they would not be able to stop. They kissed again longer this time. Joanna's hands were in his neck and his were in her waist. As they kissed, they were coming closer and closer, until there was nothing between them. They hit the wall at some point, kissing and trying to get rid of their clothes. They both knew that they should not do this, that they might regret it later, none of them could stop still. Their minds told them to stop that this was not the right moment to do it, still their bodys did the exact oposite. The wine, the earning, the warm and cold, it was too much to stop. The room became incredible hot in a moment, as they lips touched. They were kissing non-stop while working down on their clothes, "Are the rumours true?" Joanna asked between kisses smiling. "What rumours?" Pod asked smiling too. "About the brothel." Joanna said begining to pull his shirt up. "Let's find out." Pod said taking off his shirt. "Is that so?" Joanna asked kissing him again and thouching his naked chest."It is." Pod said kissing her. "Then what are you waiting for, knight?" Joanna said kissing him deeply. "As, my lady, comands." Pod said kissing her. He was pulling her tunic up, never breaking the kiss, when there was a knock on the door. They froze. Who was it? What were they doing? What had happened? "Don't." Joanna whispered. "I'll be right back." Pod whispered back, kissing her. They pulled away reluntacly and then something fell and made noise. "Is everything allright?" they heard someone asking outside. Pod opened the door and the man said, "You forgot your sword downstairs, lad." "Bad timing. Really bad timing." Pod said taking the sword and closing the door, it was the wine speaking. Then he went back inside, "What was it?" Joanna asked. "I forgot my sword downstairs." Pod said. "How can you forgot your sword?" Joanna asked. "I don't know, I just did." Pod answered putting away the sword. "But how, Pod?" Joanna asked. "I don't know, Joanna." Pod said. "You don't know?" Joanna asked. "I don't want to fight, right now." Pod said. "Me neither, sorry." Joanna said. Then they began to drink again, to stop fighting. They finished the bottle in a heartbeat... After sometime, they were kissing again, however slowly this time. They were too tired and drunk to do anything else. "We better get some sleep." Joanna said pulling away from the kiss. "Do you want to get some sleep?" Pod said lifting an eyebrow. She leaned in and kissed him and then said, "Not really, but I'm tired." "Allright then, let's change and get into bed." Pod said. They began to change their clothes or what remained of them anyway, however they fell asleep before changing everything. They fell asleep holding each other, without even thinking about it. It felt good and they were too drunk to care if it was right or wrong.
Next morning, Joanna began to wake up, it felt more comfortable and more warm than usual, it felt good. She did not know why, though. She opened her eyes, her head hurted, then she looked around. Where am I? What happened? Ouch, my head, Joanna thought. She took another look around and then she realised that there were arms around her, it felt good, she did not know why. Then suddenly, she knew who was. It was Podrick. Gods, what did we do? What the fuck happened? I can't remember, Joanna thought. Then she realized, he is without his shirt, why is he without his shirt?, she tried to moved and then she realised that she was not wearing pants, only a long tunic. What have we done?, Joanna thought. She had to wake him, they were late already. She took all the courage she had left and said, "Pod." However, he did not respond. "Pod. Pod, wake up." Joanna said. "What?" Pod asked waking up, his head hurtting. Then he realized, the position they were in. Gods, what have I done?, Pod thought. He could not remember a thing. They got out of the bed in a second. Just stood there looking at each other in pannick, they remembered kissing, however they could not remember anything after that. Had they? Did they? What had happened?
They were begining to talk, when someone knock on the door. "Y-yes?" Joanna said. "They are waiting for you, my lady, in the meeting room." the man said behind the door. "I'll be down in a minute." Joanna said and then she went to change and went down to the meeting without saying a word to Podrick.
Joanna was making her way to the meeting room, thinking, This was the first and last time I got drunk! Why? Why did I listen to Tyrion?.
Then she arrived at the meeting room, "I'm sorry, I'm late." Joanna said entering the room. The meeting went well, still, eventhough Joanna was listening and paying attention, her mind could not stop thinking about what might had happened last night. She knew that when a maiden had her first, something happened, however she did not know what, no one ever told her. The only person, she knew that she could talk about it was Sansa, she was the only person that knew what happened. Joanna had to know what the hell happened last night and she would not ask Podrick about it.
When the meeting was over, everyone exited the room, except for Joanna and Sansa. "Can I talk to you for a second?" Joanna asked her. "Sure. What is it?" Sansa asked. "Just out of curiosity, when you're with...you know...when you're with a man for the first time, how do you know that you two...you know?" Joanna asked blushing. "Joanna, what did you do?" Sansa asked surprised. "I didn't do anything! At least, I hope I didn't do anything. I don't know." Joanna answered in pannick. "You don't know?" Sansa asked shocked. "I was drunk, I can't remember. He was drunk, I'm certainly not gonna ask him. I don't even know if he remembers." Joanna confessed. "And has no one ever told you?" Sansa asked surprised. "My mother died when I was a baby. With Cersei it never came up. My brothers wouldn't talk about it. And, of course, I would never ask the mighty Tywin Lannister about it." Joanna answered honestly. "And you don't remember?" Sansa asked, unbelieving it. "I remember kissing him, but after that I don't remember a thing." Joanna answered worried. "How do you not remember, Joanna?" Sansa asked in shock. "I was drunk, we drank a whole bottle of wine, allright? What do you want me to say? I should have listen to you and stay away from the wine. Please, answered the question." Joanna said in despair. "Allright, when you are with a man, there's blood the first time. Was there any blood?" Sansa asked. "No." Joanna answered. "Then you're fine." Sansa said. Joanna sighed with relief. "Thank the gods." Joanna said. "What if it had happened, Joanna? What would you do?" Sansa asked. "I really don't want to think about that." Joanna said seriously.
That afternoon they parted to Riverrun, with some discussions in the middle, because neither Brienne or Joanna wanted to leave Sansa alone, they parted nontheless.
However, before leaving Podrick went to talk to her, he had to know if anything happened or not, because it was not only Joanna that was pannicking over it, he was too. "Joanna." Pod said. Joanna sighed and turned around. "Do you want to talk about what happened?" Pod asked. "I really don't want to." Joanna answered. "At least, tell if something happened or not." Pod said. "No, nothing happened. We didn't do anything. I think." Joanna said. "Allright, I won't talk about it anymore." Pod said. "I'm sorry for getting us drunk. I shouldn't have gotten that bottle or had the idea in the first place." Joanna said. "It's allright, I got along too, don't worry." Pod said and then they made their way in silence to the horses and departed in the direction of Riverrun.