The Young Lioness

Another Death

After sometime, they made camp near the place where they were. Podrick was preparing things and trying to convice Brienne, who was sharping Oathkeeper with whetstone, not to give up. It was not exactly working. Joanna was helping him, in any way she could. "Will we head North at some point? You said Sansa had a brother at Castle Black. We are two days ride from the Kingsroad, it'll take us-" Podrick was saying. "Us? The only reason you're here is because her brother told me you weren't safe in the capital. You're hundreds of miles from KingsLanding, no one knows what you look like, no one cares. You're safe." Brienne said. I'm not the only one who becames cold when hidding her emotions, Joanna thought. She knew what was going on, but she decided to wait before talking. "But, I'm your squire." Pod said. "Do you even know what a squire is?" Brienne asked him. "An attendent to a knight." Podrick answered. "I'm not a knight. That means you're not a squire." Brienne said. "Where would I go?" Pod asked. "I don't care, I'm not your mother." Brienne said. "You swore to find the Stark girls." Podrick said. "I found Arya, she didn't want my protection." Brienne said. "Sansa still might." Pod said. "Will you shut your mouth?" Brienne said. "Come on, Sansa is not Arya. And think about it, they lost everything, they don't trust anyone. It's not their or your fault, but it is how it is. And even if they don't know it, you're the best chance they've got." Joanna said trying to make her understand that it was not the end. "I didn't ask for your advice. I don't want anyone following me, I'm not a leader. All I wanted was to fight for the lord I believed in, the good lords are dead and the rest are monsters." Brienne said. "Allright, time for a talk. So, you found Arya, she didn't want to came with you, so what? Are you going to give up, just like that? Without even trying to find Sansa? Arya is just like you and me, she is a warrior, she has Needle. But Sansa...she is, in every meaning of the word, a lady. She is a though girl, but she is not safe with whomever she is or alone. Her armour and sword are the politics, in these days that worths nothing or even less, out there. She needs you." Joanna explained. "Even if that's true, why would she come with us? If she is with Littlefinger, it is almost certain that he has turned her against everyone but him. There's no chance..." Brienne said. "That's only one more reason to go find her. You saved my brother from killing himself, because he was giving up. I'm not letting you give up on an oath. That you would regret for the rest of your life." Joanna said. "I'm not giving up, I'm just tired." Brienne said. "I know, we all are. This past two years took more from us than the rest of our lives together. But, after every winter comes a summer, right?" Joanna said with small smile. "Right." Brienne answered with a nod. "So are we keeping on to the Kingsroad?" Podrick asked. "Yes, we are." Brienne said. "We only have one horse. Can we stop in the next inn to buy two more?" Joanna asked. "Yes, we can. Why are you freaking out about the horses? You told me you used to walk through the florests of the Rock all of the time." Brienne asked suprised. "Last time I was out there without a horse, I almost ended up in a bear pit and raped and I got an arrow through my shoulder. So, yes, I'm kinda of freaking out." Joanna said. "Bear pit? As if in Harrenhal?" Brienne asked. "Wait, raped? Why didn't you say anyhting?!" Pod said. "I'm alive, am I not? Besides, it wasn't the first time. The only difference was that I hadn't to slay them this time. And, yes, the bear pit was in Harrenhal and I sent Locke in there instead of me and then I got shot." Joanna explained. "I'd like to be there to see that." Brienne said. "It was pretty as a picture. Wait, have you and Jaime been in Harrenhal?" Joanna asked. "Yes...we spent some time there. He saved me from the bear pit, by jumping inside." Brienne said. "He jumped inside of a bear pit? Yes, that's Jaime Lannister." Joanna said. "I figured that out after." Brienne said.
After some time, they reached the inn and it was a lot of horses outside, "Must be good food, if it's this crowded." Podrick said. "I hope you're right." Joanna said. Then, they tied the horse very well this time and went inside, Joanna put on a cloak as usual. They sat on a table and the food was served, however when the maid came to serve the hale, she was looking at Pod all smiles and heart eyes, Joanna throw her a death glare. Keep on doing that and you'll see what they say about the Lannister women, Joanna thought, angry. Then, when the girl left, Podrick followed her with his gaze and Joanna could not help and kicked his leg. "Ouch, what was that for?" Podrick asked. "Sorry, I thought I had hit the table." Joanna said, sarcasticaly. "Can you two stop for a minute?" Brienne asked them. Eventhough things were better between them, lately with the presion relief, the argurments got on more often and anoyingly. There were arguments for simple and silly things. "I didn't do anything." Pod said. "No, because men never do anything." Joanna said. "Joanna, come on. Save it for later." Brienne said. "Fine." Joanna said rolling her eyes. Pod keeping cheking the views and Joanna  begining to get really angry at him. "Allright, if he doesn't stop, I'm gonna hit him again." Joanna muttered. "Not in the inn. You can do it outside." Brienne said to her. "My lady." Pod said and Brienne looked at him. "Who is it?" Brienne said. "Sansa Stark. Don't look." Pod said. "Are you sure?" Joanna asked. "She has died her hair, but it's her. She is sitting with Petyr Baelish." Pod said. "Littlefinger." Brienne said. "I'm going there." Joanna said. She was ready to get up, when Podrick grabbed her hand. "Don't. There's a bunch of knights there." he said. "Bunch? What's a bunch? 60? 20?" Brienne asked. "10, I think. This is not the right time." Pod said, never letting go of Joanna's hand. "Ready the horses." Brienne said. "We only have one horse." Pod said. "Find more." Brienne said and Pod left. "What are you going to do?" Joanna asked. "I'm going to talk to her." Brienne said. "I'm coming with you." Joanna said. "No, go with him. Or we risk not getting out of here." Brienne said. "But, she is my friend and she knows me." Joanna said. "So does Littlefinger. Your sister has a bounty on your head. Besides, you're a Lannister. If they found out, you wouldn't leave this place alive and I can't let that happen." Brienne said. "Fine. Meet us outside." Joanna said and then left to find Pod.
Joanna was going to where Podrick was, when she heard, "Do you know what happened to Tywin Lannister?" "No, what?" Joanna came closer to try to hear better. "He was killed." Joanna felt the tears burning in her eyes. "By whom?" "The Imp. Then, Tyrion Lannister escaped, no one knows where he is now." Joanna was in shock, she could not move, she could not think, the only thing she felt was rage, grief and confusion. Then she heard shouts coming from the outside, Joanna ran to the door, slayed some men on the way and grabbed a horse and rode away, the men were coming, she managed to mislead them still. Then, she heard Podrick shouting, she turned her horse around and went to where he was. When she got there, he and Brienne were there and he was all wet from falling in the lake. Joanna snapped, "Are you two completely mad?! It were 10 against 3, they could have killed us!" "They didn't." Brienne said calmly. "They could have!" Joanna said and then rode away. "Joanna, are you allright?" Podrick asked loudly. However, Joanna did not respond, just kept riding, tears running down her face. "We'll make camp near. She is going to find us. Come on." Brienne said. "She's not allright. I know it. Something happened." Pod said. "What do you think it was?" Brienne asked concerned. "Something bad." Podrick said worried. Then they went to make camp near.
Meanwhile, Joanna was still riding. The tears had dried, but the anger still raged on inside, How could he? Why did he do it? He had more reasons than anyone, but he is the most sane of us all. Something happened. What does it matter? Father's dead because of him. He was an evil man, but he was still our father!, Joanna thought. After sometime, she felt sure she would not cry anymore, her heart was stone, she turned the horse around and came back to camp. She tied the horse and joined them, sitting in a stone, without a word. None of them asked what was going on, because both knew better than to do it. Joanna had a temper and if it was broken, things would go wrong if forced.
The rest of the days, they followed Littlefinger. Until they reached Moat Cailin, it was impossible to pass through there. "How do we get through there?" Pod asked. "We don't. We'll go around." Brienne said. "That pulls us miles out of the way. We'll loose sight of them." Pod said. "Doesn't matter. I know where they're going." Brienne said. "Winterfell." Joanna said. It was the first word she said in days. Brienne and Podrick had been trying to figure out what had happened, without success. They both looked at her with surprise, however Joanna just turned the horse around and kept going. After some time they made camp for the night. They were all sitting in the rocks, in a circle, Pod was doing his duties of squire and Brienne was watching him and Joanna was hitting the dirt with her dagger non-stop. "Aren't you getting a little old to be a squire?" Brienne asked him. When Podrick did not respond, she continue, "How did you end up squiring the Imp?" Brienne asked. "He hates that nickname." Pod said. "It's not like he's complaining about it, is he? I'm sorry, I forgot he was your brother." Brienne said. "You can call him whatever you want. I don't care." Joanna said. "That's not true." Pod said. "He's right. You would care as much as if someone called Jaime, Kingslayer." Brienne said. "Well, Jaime didn't kill my father, did he?" Joanna said and then got up and walked away. "I'm going to talk to her." Brienne said and she went after her. Brienne found Joanna sitting in a log, hitting the dirt with the dagger again. "You're going to ruin the dagger." Brienne said sitting next to her. "I don't care." Joanna said. "You know you do." Brienne said. "My father gave it to me, now he's dead. What's the matter if it's ruined? It will be like me." Joanna said. "It's the only thing you have from him. You have to preserve it. You're not ruined, Joanna." Brienne said. "I am. I'm loosing everyone. I lost Cersei, I lost my nephew, I don't know anything about my niece or my nephew, Jaime is in KingsLanding alone, if he is really there, my father's dead, because of Tyrion, who, by the way, I have no idea where he is or what crossed his mind to do something like that. I lost Pod, I lost Sansa. I lost my home. I have nothing left, the only reason I'm hitting the dirt with this dagger is for not hitting myself with it and put an end to all this damn thing." Joanna said. Brienne removed gently the dagger from her hands, she did not let Jaime kill himself, she would not let Joanna do it either. Then Brienne put an arm around her and said, "I'm sorry about your father. I'm sorry about all that happened. But, you're not alone, Joanna. You're not. You have your brothers wherever they are. You have me and Pod. You didn't loose any of them. I know you're angry with Tyrion and with Pod, but you didn't loose them, they're still here and they're still with you. And Sansa, we will find her and keep her safe. There's still reasons to live." Brienne explained her. "It just doesn't make sense. Tyrion was always the one telling us not to do anything rush, he was the one who kept us in check. He had more reasons than any person to kill him, but he was his father too. He was an evil man, but he was our father. I keep trying to understand. But, I can't figure it out. I can't imagine why he did it." Joanna said. "You'll have to ask him, when you see him again." Brienne said. "I guess so. I don't know if I want to see him again." Joanna said. "You will when the time comes." Brienne said and Joanna nodded. Then Brienne gave her the dagger back and Joanna sheathed it. Joanna gave her a hug and said, "Thank you, Brienne. I truly don't know what I might do if it weren't for you and this talk." Joanna said. "You're wellcome. I would have given up by now if it weren't for you, Joanna." Brienne said returning the hug. When they separated from the hug, Brienne said, "Now, let's hear the story of how Pod became your brother's squire." Brienne said. "Allright. It's not happy one, I'm telling you." Joanna said.
They headed back to camp and then asked Pod to tell his story, "I squired for a knight named Ser Lorimer during the War of The Five Kings. One night, he had a bit too much to drink and he was famished so he borrowed a ham." Pod said. "He borrowed it?" Brienne said. "He wasn't a thief, he was drunk and hungry and he wasn't thinking. I was drunk too. He gave me half the ham. Next morning, one of the guards saw him passed out under a wagon with the hambone still in his hand. They hanged him that afternoon. They tied a noose for me too, but Lord Tywin heard my family name was Payne, so he pardoned me and sent me to KingsLanding to squire for his son." Podrick said. "As a punishment, for both of you." Brienne said. Joanna chuckled. Podrick smiled for hear it, she had not smiled in days and he was concerned. "It didn't seem that way, Lord Tyrion was always very good to me." Podrick said. "Yes, all your lords have been very kind to you. All except me. Sorry you have to squire for such a nasty person." Brienne said. "I'm not sorry, you're the best fighter I've ever seen. You beated the Hound, I'm proud to be your squire." Podrick said honestly. Joanna smiled and Brienne did too. "I'm sorry, I'm always snapping at you." Brienne said. "If you didn't snap at me, I wouldn't learn anything." Podrick said. "That's true." Joanna said with a giggle. "Do want to be a knight, Pod?" Brienne asked. "Yes." Pod said, suprised and happy. Joanna smiled again. "Starting tomorrow, we will train with the sword twice a day, before we ride in the morning and after making camp in the evening and I'm going to show how to ride properly." Brienne told him. "Thank you." Pod said smiling. "I can't knight you, but I can teach you how to fight." Brienne said. "I suposed that's the more important." Pod said. "Maybe one day, you'll beat me. And it's like I always say, we are not knights, but we are better than most of them." Joanna said smiling. She was happy for Pod, she was still sad about her father, however there was no need to ruin good moments with grief. Pod and Brienne smiled too. "It's good to have you back. I'm sorry about what happened." Pod said lighting the fire. "Thank you, Pod." Joanna said. Then Podrick started to remove Brienne's armour, as a squire would do his job. "You weren't a knight, but you were Kingsguard to Renly Baratheon, weren't you?" Pod said. "I was." Brienne said. "Lord Tyrion said he was a good man." Pod said. "He was." Brienne said. "Yes, he really was and he would be a great king. He was the best of them." Joanna said. "How did you end up serving Renly?" Pod said. "When I was a girl, my father held a ball. I'm his only living child, so he wanted to make a good match for me, he invited dozens of young lords to Tarth, I didn't want to go, but he dragged me to the ballroom." Brienne said. "I know the feeling." Joanna said, remembering her childhood. "And it was wonderfull, none of the boys noticed how mulish and tall I was. They shoved each other and threatened to duel when they thought it was their turn to dance. They whispered in my ear that they wanted to marry me and take me back to their castle. My father smiled at me and I smiled at him. I'd never been so happy." Brienne said. Pod and Joanna were smiling, until they heard what she told them next. "'Till I saw a few of the boys snickering and then they all started to laugh, they couldn't keep the game going any longer. They were  playing with me. Brienne, the Beauty they called me, great joke. And I realized I was the ugliest girl alive, a great lumbering beast." Brienne was saying. If Joanna could, she would show that boys a lesson they would never forget. "I tried to run away, but Renly Baratheon took me in his arms, 'Don't let them see your tears.' he told me 'They're nasty little shits and nasty little shits aren't worth crying over', he danced with me and all the other boys couldn't say a word. And he was the King's brother after all." Brienne said. "But wasn't he...Lord Tyrion said he was..." Pod said and Joanna rolled her eyes. "Yes, Pod, he liked men. I'm not an idiot. He didn't love me, he didn't want me. He danced with because he was kind and he didn't want to see me hurt. He saved me from being a joke. From that day until his last day. And I couldn't save him in return. Nothing's more hatefull than failing to protect the one you love. One day, I will avenge King Renly." Brienne said. "You said a shadow murdered him. How do you fight a shadow?" Pod asked. "A shadow with the face of Stannis Baratheon. I knew it was Stannis, I knew it in my heart. Stannis is a man, not a shadow and men can be killed." Brienne said. "Stannis is envolved, I'm certain of it. And I'm sure that you'll make him pay. As for the other boys, all boys are idiots, no offense, Pod. At least, you danced with someone, I never dance with anyone. Again, all the boys are idiots, no offtense." Joanna said. "None taken, but why do you say that?" Pod asked. "Because it's true. When I was a girl, back at the Rock, I used to get around the city all the time, and one day I met a boy from the stables, Damon. We somehow became friends, we played with swords together and he was my only friend. Sometime after, I fell in love with him, I didn't tell him right away. But, I knew my father wanted me to marry, so I thought that I would tell my father that I wanted to marry Damon and that I could somehow convince him to let me do it. One day, I was alone at the Rock, or so I thought, I went to the stables and I told Damon my plan. I was really happy. Then, he started to laugh and I was happy because I thought that he had liked the plan, but he didn't stop laughing. So, I asked him why was he laughing. And he said 'You're really stupid, aren't you? You really thought that I would marry you? You? You're not a lady, besides you're stronger than me, I would be a joke.', I didn't want to cry, so I slapped him and ran back to the castle. I began to cry along the way. I stormed inside the castle to my room, but I had forgoten that Jaime had arrived that day. I passed through him running and just got to my room in time to close the door. I layed down in my bed crying and Jaime knocked and said, 'Is everything allright, little lioness? What happened, Jo?', my brothers and my sister have these nicknames for me. Anyway, I said I wanted to be alone, but he stood at the door waiting. Finally, I opened the door and let him in, he sat beside me on the bed and I told him what happened. I'm pretty sure that he wanted to kill the boy, but he knew that I didn't want to, so he just hugged me and said, 'Someday, you'll find a man that will love you for the warrior princess you are. And, when that day arrives, all the other boys can suck it, because they won't have you.' I gave him a hug, I swore that I would never be let down by a boy again, not that I could do it but that's another story. The only thing I know is that, if he hadn't been in the Rock that day, I don't even want to think what I could have done." Joanna said by the end looking at Pod. "That guy is a jerk. He was the stupid one. I can't believe what he said to you." Pod said. Was he angry? Joanna was confused, however, somehow, she was happy too. "He's right. That guy is a jerk." Brienne said. Joanna nodded and smiled. The only person who knew this story was Jaime, by then Brienne and Podrick knew it too. Joanna did not regret telling them, they were her friends and Joanna was begining to feel like she had found a new family.
Eventhough Joanna felt more happy, her mind did not let it last, because that night, the nightmares came back.