I was suddenly slammed against the hard surface of the closed door , making me scream in fear. I had my eyes closed, anticipating something painful to happen but nothing came.
Instead I was securely held in someone's stronge arm. Slowly I tried opening my eyes , bitting my lower lip in nervousness. When my eyes were open I saw P'Phana's hungry eyes directed on me, making me writher.
The very moment our eyes met , things changed drastically.
Now, he had both my wrists pinned above my head with his one hand and the other one was around my waist holding me straight against himself.
His hard body was pressed against mine making me feel his body heat through the thin cloth material , we wore. He did nothing much at that moment but I still moaned just feeling his body on mine.
"P'Ph-a.... aahha..umm...."
Hearing myself making weird sounds I closed my mouth tightly, forming a thin line with my lips. I was blushing furiously. Probably too bright that I thought my face was going to split into two.
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"Don't hold it in Yo. Let me hear You.!" P'Phana shamelessly demanded rubbing his nose on my jaw line.
I was about to push him off of me but before I could do anything he had already taken my lips in between his. He was slowing kissing me watching my expression as he nibbled on them.
I had never done anything like this before, especially with a man. I was supposed to avoid this , and its too early for us to jump straight on the intimacy part , just after going on a date. Its so not me but what can I do.
I can't think straight anymore...
Just after one day together or not I couldn't get him out of my head. It was hard to be away from him on the very first night after we met. And his touches , I couldn't forget them.
I couldn't forget the way he held me that night when he took me to his special place. I couldn't forget the way he made me feel when he kissed me on my nose, while we were inside his car.
His simple gestures , touches , caresses, his everything was beyond forgetable. And the more I tried not to think about those things , is the more I CRAVED for them.
When he gave me , my favourite flower this moring I was smitten. I didn't know what was going in my head but getting enough of the nonsense thoughts I just decided to let it go.
For once...
I decided to let things happen. It wasn't like I had control over my destiny, or my future. And if P'Phana is to be in it, then so be it.
But there was one thing that prevented me from doing so. And that was...
My insecurities.......
What if he was just playing with me. What if he will leave after I agreed to be his. What if I was just a passing fling to him. What if--.....
There were so many 'what ifs' that started to take a great deal on my mind, preventing it from thinking straight. I might be wrong with my insecurities but its only wise to think beforehand and save ourselves from mopping around because of a fake relations.
Especially the thought of my Dad was holding me back. He is so happy with everything happening now that I don't have the courage to pop his happy bubble for anything in this world.
What would I tell him if the thing between me and P'Phana never gets serious? What!! He had always wanted me to be happy. And I don't want to make him sad for this. He will blame himself for everything and thats is what I don't want to happen.
******
This whole situation was so weird to me. Us , making out heavily with me pressed against a door by his body sounds so hot but yet I still felt insecure , somehow.
Why couldn't I ingnore him? Instead I was hear craving for his touches and lips to be on mine, always.
"Yo~~....hmmmm...." P'Pha said bluntly. Continuing to kiss down my neck making me gasp when he started to bite on my sweet spot. My legs felt jelly and I would have fallen if he hadn't had his both arms around my body.
He had released his grip on my wrists after he made sure that I wasn't going to resist him anymore. He just pulled me closer, not wanting to let me go.
"P'Pha...... we n-eed to stop. Come-hmmm!" He placed a kiss on my mouth to shut me up. The whole sensation was too much for me to handle , addicting, almost.
Grabbing my butt, he hoisted me up against the door, again furiously kissing me . I placed my arms arround his neck, pulling him closer to me, if that was even possible. But somehow things felt wrong.
I have to stop this. This is not good . But I couldn't stop.
P'Phana made me feel important.
And its not good just yet.
"Please stop this P'. I-I ... ca-n't..... huh.... pl..e..ase stop." I was panting hard as I pushed him a little away from me to stop his further attempts of kissing me.
He looked hurt but not asking anything he just placed me back on the ground and stepped away a little to give me some space.
I couldn't stand there as if nothing happened, so without saying anything I made a run to my bathroom. I sighed making my way inside, feeling exhausted.
I looked at the mirror hung on the wall and couldn't believe what I saw. I looked like a mess.
A complete mess!!
My hair was undone, my cheeks were flushed , my neck was completely red and if I am correctly, I saw a little purple-ish bruise forming on my neck.
Oh no.... that couldn't have been a hickey. Right? GOD, I hope not.....
I continued examining myself more to find if there are more marks. I don't know how long I was in there but when I came out gathering all the courge needed to face P'Phana , he was nowhere to be seen.
