Seeking Comfort

Chapter 7 - I Love You

Draco POV

I sat there on Harry's bed crying my eyes out. Harry has been asleep for over a day now. The only thing keeping me from calling someone for help was his whimpers every now and then. But it was worse last night. He was crying and screaming. I was so worried. I tried to shake him awake, poured water on him but he seemed to be stuck in his dream. He kept flinching and rubbing his wrist when he suddenly shot up from the bed sitting up as straight as an ironing board.

He looked around confused at first and then his eyes landed on me. Tears began to swell in his emerald eyes then he broke down again. Diving towards me and taking me into a back-breaking hug. I hugged him back.

"Thank you so much Draco for helping me after the r-r-rape." He sobbed, into my shoulder.

"It's okay Harry, I'll always be there for you." I replied back.

We stayed like that for a few more minutes before Harry spoke again.

"Draco, can we, erm, can we, well, can you." Harry said stuttering. It was so cute. "Can you make love to me please?" He finished.

I smiled at him. "Sure, if that's what you want."

I kissed him softly on the lips and he kissed back. I slowly moved down to his chin then jaw then neck till he groaned.

***

I lay in Harry's bed with Harry's head on my bare chest. When he wakes up after his sleep, I will ask him about his dream after we got home from school. But I am sure that he won't be waking up any time soon but earlier than his previous sleep. We had five amazing rounds of sex before we both got tired and decided to sleep. But now I am awake and anxiously waiting for Harry to wake up too.

Slowly, Harry began to move. He stretched his hands over his head and yawned loudly. He opened an eye and looked around for me before he opened both of them and smiled at me.

"How are you, sleepy head?" I asked him as I kissed him on the forehead.

"I feel amazing Draco," he said and leaned up and kissed my lips. "How are you?"

I sighed. I wasn't going to lie to him. I will tell him how I really feel. "Good but worried about you." I said. He looked down and away from my face. I wonder if it was right for me to have brought that up.

"You want to know," Harry began but stopped abruptly. "You want to know why I tried to kill myself and what I dreamt about last night."

I nodded. Yes, I did.

"But can I ask one question before I answer?" He asked.

"Fine. What do you want to ask?" I asked back.

"How long was I out for?" He asked tilting his head to the side.

I looked at the clock on the wall opposite the bed. "About a day and 14 hours."

"Oh," he said quietly. "Okay."

He sat up on the bed and leaned against the headboard.

"Draco, you know how when you found me and the few months that followed, I felt depressed and wanted to kill myself?" He said then finally looked at me and I nodded my head.

He was so broken. Some nights, we sat there in the bathroom floor crying for hours on end until we fell asleep leaning against each other.

"After I told you to leave, I didn't cut anymore. Thank you for that. But when that guy Jackson, tried to rape me, I felt all the pain and depression all crash back down on me." He said now crying. "I just hated myself so much Draco. I was tired of being used and being so attracted to people. I just wanted it to end. The release I felt when I made the first cut was dangerously satisfying. So, I cut more but before I realised, I was making huge deep cuts, but I was happy. I didn't care about the pain, and I was sure that no one would miss me if I died." He concluded lowering his head as the tears fell onto his chest.

I moved to sit next to him and pulled him into my arms. He still felt unwanted and unloved. He still doesn't want to accept that I truly love him. And that was every part of him.

"Harry, what do you think about my feelings for you?" I asked.

"I think you like me as a friend and a very good friend, but you don't love me. You just have sex with me because I asked you to, but you want to help me heal." He answered simply.

Ouch.

That hurt.

I felt like crying.

After all this time, I thought I had made it clear that I loved him and would do anything for him to be happy, but I guess I still didn't make it stand out enough for him to notice. I leaned in and kissed him on the lips.

"Harry," I began. "I love you so, so much. There is no word for me to use to describe how much I love you, Harry. I have always loved you Harry- even when you were dating Cedric. I would still stare at you across the Great Hall. I have sex with you because I want to have sex with you not because you want to, Harry. I don't pity you Harry because of what you have gone through I just want to help you heal. Please don't forget that." I said and realised that I had been crying and that now we were both crying. I pulled him onto my chest, and he laid his head there.

After a few hours, it was dark outside and realised that it was a school day tomorrow.

"Would you like to go to school tomorrow or wait till next week to start again?" I asked.

"I will go tomorrow. I don't want people to ask questions or become suspicious that something is off about us." He replied.

"Okay. Let's get some sleep then." I said back.

He nodded and snuggled against my chest, and we slept comfortably together.