Salem's Eyes (COMPLETED)

01 Salem

I was wearing a black dress again. Just like now, I was also sitting on the very same spot of this chapel last year. The place never changed. The curtains were still white and purple. The chandelier wasn't working anymore, though. Buti nalang ay maraming ilaw sa maliit na simbahan.

"Imagine all of them reuniting in heaven. I bet they're happy." Amara was next to me on the front row. Her voice was hoarse from crying. Diretso lang ang tingin ko sa malaking litrato sa tabi ng kabaong ng mama n'ya. She stopped sobbing few minutes ago. Pangatlong araw na ng burol pero ganoon pa rin katindi ang iyak n'ya.

"Who do you think is next?" I asked. My voice was cold and clear. Unlike Amara who was a total mess, I was composed. I have always been composed.

"You asked me that last year when Tita Gret died." she chuckled. If it was a joke, I may have not understood it. Actually, I asked Amara that question for the last five years.

"They don't stop dying." I said as I recalled my relatives who died for the last five years. It was like a joke, though. Someone dies every year for the same reason.

"We have pretty but fucked up genes, I guess." It was a fact. My grandmother and her brother died long time ago because of it. Tapos sinundan ng panganay n'yang anak. Two of my cousins died the next. Sinundan ni daddy last two years. Tapos si Tita Gret last year and now was Amara's mom.

Amara was my closest cousin. She was a year older than me but we were both graduating from senior high next month. We spent our lives together since our houses were just across from each other.

"Good thing I take after my mom." The family was pretty strict about our health check-ups. We do full body check-up every two months. As of now, I was completely healthy.

"I take after my mother too but you're lucky.." she said, her voice was quivering again. Just as I was about to tell her not to cry again, her sobs echoed in the small chapel.

Napaisip ako. If I was lucky with my genes, I'd probably live longer. My mom was still fit and kicking. I looked exactly like her. I took after her blood type too which was relieving because if I took after my dad's, it would be tragic. In Amara's case, well, she really took after her mom. A fleeting thought of having to sit on the same spot in her burial came to my mind. Wow, that was just fucked up.

When my dad died, I was in fourth year high school. I remember our class being interrupted by the guidance counselor in the middle of the discussion. I locked eyes at Amara because we both knew what could possibly happen when they excused us both.

Dalawa lang ang ibig sabihin nito, it was either my father died or her mother.

Amara immediately bawled her eyes out when she heard the news about my dad. I knew it. I wasn't even shocked. The guidance counselor looked at me first before Amara when she excused us. Bago pa man ako lumabas roon ay alam ko ng dad ko ang namatay.

I didn't cry because I already accepted my dad's fate before he even died. I've seen him on his worst. I even accompanied him during his chemotherapy. I saw him got bald. I witnessed how he withered like a dying plant.

It was way harder to deal with when it actually happened. The whole clan were bawling. But never once I shed a tear because of death. Hindi ko alam kung dahil ba sobrang lawak ng intindi ko sa kamatayan o talagang malakas lang ako.

Unlike me, my mom was a complete mess. She was a wreck because she hoped for something that was hopeless.

"You think I'll die?" tanong ni Amara sa akin.

"Of course." mabilis kong sagot. Hindi na ako nagulat pa noong paluin n'ya ako sa balikat.

"You're so mean."