My Army Wife, My Idol Life

Backstage Bullshit

Have you done your Jump N' Jacks today? Get up and give me ten. Lol. 😂 Stay healthy peeps!

At the end of one concert, some fans were allowed to come back stage just to "hang out" with Jungkook. While he loved his fans deep down, he just couldn't tap into that love he used to have for them, and this complicated all interactions he had with them. Anyone that had known him since BTS could easily see that he was not the lovable baby boy he once was, but he was still in there; however, the ones that only just became fans were crazy over the careless attitude he portrayed.

After a while, one of the fans had somehow wormed her way to sitting right beside him as he was staring at the tattoos on his right hand, lost in his thoughts. The tattoos that he once was so proud of, that no matter how he was feeling, he could look at them and feel comforted in the fact that he had his family, BTS and ARMY.

"Oh my god, I just feel like you would be a much better boyfriend than the one I have now, he's such a wimp!" He had only just realized that she was talking to him and he wasn't particularly trying to be nice to her, but he wasn't being an asshole either, that is until she started touching his knee or bicep each time she said something and didn't take the hint that his flinching each time signaled that it was unwanted.

The old Jungkook would've put up with it, figuring she didn't mean any harm and let the staff handle it, but the new Jungkook was growing incredibly impatient with her lack of understanding personal distance and his new staff were less than reliable. The very next time she squeezed his arm he grabbed her by the wrist and slowly turned his head to look her in the eyes, "I know this may be a hard concept, but that is my arm. It's attached to my body, don't touch me." He hadn't meant to be that harsh but there was little in him that was actually sorry.

Her eyebrows raised as a smirk formed on her face, "Sorry," she giggled. She wasn't sorry though, not even close, this side of him sparked a fire in her and she was ready to pounce on him like a lioness on a zebra.

He sighed heavily, feeling that he made his point, as he laid his head back, a throbbing starting in his temple. He closed his eyes for only a second when he felt someone suddenly straddle him and before he could even open his eyes, he felt a tongue being rammed down his throat.

He gagged, nearly choking and he raised up, pushing her off of him and she nearly fell to the floor but bounced back on him just as fast and grabbed his hair with her hands, "What's wrong, Kookie?" She asked playfully running her fingers through his hair. He felt rage growing in his chest as he glared at her but kept himself calm, knowing he could injure her tiny frame easily. He gritted his teeth, "Get off of me and get out."

      A staff member came in just then and upon seeing Jungkook, did a complete 180, apologizing profusely. That particular staff member was fairly new and seemed to always be screwing up around him, so he didn't give it a second thought when she left like she had just walked in on something she shouldn't have interrupted. He made a mental note to see to it that she be terminated once he took care of this situation on his own.

     The girl flashed him a smile as she stood up, "You know, I would watch how you treat me, Kookie," she winked, "What would everyone think if they found out you attacked me?" She looked over to a group of girls standing off to their right with menacing grins on their faces, one of them waving a phone at him.

He glared at them, standing up and and opening the door, "Get out before I remove you myself." They giggled and gossiped as they walked out and he heard one say something about how they were going to be rich and famous now. He waited until the last one was out and began walking behind them, unnoticed. Just as they were about to leave the building, he motioned to a security guard. "Check their phones before they leave." He demanded as he walked back towards his room. Five huge security guards ran up to the girls blocking the exit and took their phones from them as they protested. He thought about how he may have reacted differently if Taehyung had still been alive, if this nightmare he was living in never happened.

  He thought of Y/N and the baby and felt he could be a better father and husband if his world hadn't nearly fallen apart. He just couldn't handle the aching in his chest anymore. He walked back to the room, wondering how the conversation was going to go with Y/N when he told her a fan attacked him, his heart starting to pound in his chest.

Just as he was about to pull the door open, he started to see little splotches of green, red, and gray, and his body suddenly felt incredibly heavy. He fell to his knees, holding his chest as his muscles tightened and twisted, barely able to breathe, tears dripping from his eyes as he struggled to inhale.

He was ready to go as his palms slammed down hard, barely bracing him. He didn't want to breathe anymore anyways. This was his sweet release. This was his way out of the suffering, the longing for his best friend, and the constant feeling that he was doing something wrong or feeling something wrong. He closed his eyes and his daughter's face suddenly flashed in his mind.

No. Not yet.