Polygraph Eyes // Yungblud

29: "I Think I'm Okay"

Lexi's Point of View

"You do realize you scared me shitless, right?"  I watched Dom as he paced back and forth in front of the bed. I looked at my cuticles that have become raw from picking at them so much. Dom's feet stopped shuffling in the carpet, and he bent down in front of me, cradling my head in one hand and holding my knee in the other. "I don't know what I would've done if you were gone."

I sniffled as I met his gaze. "You need help, lex." I could feel his eyes piercing through my soul.

"I think I'm okay." I pushed his hand away lightly. He chuckled in disbelief and shook his head. I could tell he was getting frustrated, and it made my heart ache to see him like that. For as long as i've known him, Dom never got extremely frustrated with me. We always took a moment aside to gather our thoughts instead of lashing out at each other. 

"I need you to take a step back and realized what happened" He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, "look around you." 

The spilt pills on the now bile stained wool carpet seemed to empathize themselves as my gaze met the mess. Tears brimmed at my eyes and I slowly broke down. I felt a new sense of self worth, that I needed to do something better with my life. Dom wrapped his arms around my body as I sunk my face into his chest. I felt his soft lips plant a kiss on top of my head, and his hand rubbed circles around my back. I sobbed into his shirt, leaving it stained with tears and I pulled away from him. He looked me in my red eyes while still holding me, and brushed a strand of hair out of my face. 

"You do know that I would do anything for you, and I mean anything and everything. I want to help you. No matter how long and vigorous the process is, I will never leave your side," a small smile crept up to his face "I love you so much, lex. You're my world and i-if I lost my world, I think I would go absolutely insane." 

We laid down intertwined with one another, and stared into each others eyes. It was like I silently agreed to get the help I so desperately needed. 

                                                                                         ******

I watch the lights blur into one

And sound like a passing train
With my head outside the car
In the back seat

I threw a bottle from the window
Just to watch it break
It bounced and retained its shape
Would my body do the same?

Please just drive this car into a wall
Anything to break the silence

we could die on impact                                                                                                                            

or we could drive straight through

Pick your bones up off the street
Take the car back before someone knows it's missing

Burn it out on the side of the road
We know that's what you're good at

Make your annual escape from home
Before they know what hit them...

Walk on your friends to fly

We've run out of reasons for watching you die

Aren't you tired of hospital beds?

I know the feeling man
You can't count the fuck ups on two hands

Like running water
What are you running from?

If you go, I go.

A/N.Hello... it's been a while. I am so sorry for the lack of writing recently. It's the end of my spring semester and things were just piling up on me. It was so hard to maintain focus in my classes, especially since we're stuck in a quarantine and there are so many things distracting me around my room during my lectures haha. Overall keeping up work has been really stressful, but I am so happy to say that I am finally done! Since we are stuck at home, I guarantee you I will be doing a lot more writing I promise that! I also don't have a switch to play animal crossing since they're all sold out right now so I guess I have nothing better to do. I really do appreciate all the wonderful comments telling me how much you love my writing, It warms my heart! Also, thank you for all the suggestions on what path I should take with this book! At this moment, I have completely no Idea what I'm doing so Im leaving it up to my readers! What do you what to see happen in the book? I'll do my best to make sure it happens! 

Anyways, I apologize for this short shitty chapter. It's been a while since I did some creative writing and after being worked to the bone during finals, I think my brain has become smooth. I promise you next chapter will be bigger and better! I love you all, thank you so much for the support!

Be safe, and wash your hands!

-parkhillromance