They say there was a time where man had no clothing. They say there was a time where people only sang and dance for joy,Where they wasn't a God to believe in or rules and regulations to follow .Everyone was good and struggled for their own happiness,some even found even the littlest of happiness in small things like the laughter of a baby ,the colours of the sky ,the happiness of a fellow being .
Those days are gone and now?--things are much different,now thing's are much uglier, we feel every pain we receive and in the case of Nina ?--she wasn't worse or different from the others ,it wasn't like she was poor ,it wasn't like she craved for the big things--the most pretty boys ,money ?--Nina was pretty but she could never believe it .Nina you see ?---was a curse to herself .
Every time she stared at the mirror ,she regrets it ,it was her fault .If only she wasn't too attracted by the endowed men or the riches of finer boys or the fairness of her skin .If only she concentrated on the deal or the reason ,she wouldn't be here. Around the ones that claimed love ,Around her cursing father ,Around her foolish uncles. Nina wouldn't be here .
I did it.
It's my fault.
I shouldn't have but i did .
Look at me now ?.
Why ?.
She reminds herself this words as she lies sprawled on the bathroom floor ,staring at the white ceiling, cursing herself for her mistake.
The glares --the questions.
Why are you here ?
What are those on your hand ?
Where you caned ?--tell me the truth ,did mummy do that to you ?--
All she could do is smile .For how does she explain a feeling as deep as that. An ugly feeling hidden in the depths of darkness. The darkness in her heart spreading through her body. Her aggressiveness they could never understand.
Oh she wishes to hit her father to oblivion ,to curse her sister for her ignorance ,to hate her mother for dying ,to not love ,to be strong and wicked and heartless and still not care .
How she wishes to die willingly,to not cut deep but go straight and do it with out asking why ?.
"You never stop by !" The words of her highschool teacher
"My wife --She says you never call " The idiotic words from the mouth of a stupid uncle .
"You think I'm here to die for you ?" The words of a cursing father
"If you want to die ,die and not blame it on some one else " the words of an ignorant sister.
"If you've thought about killing yourself, you would have done that a long time ago cause it isn't so hard " The words of a sisters boyfriend.
They swirl in her memory. They stab her soul .
She is already dead and now she doesn't even care. Why would she ?--All hope is lost and non can be found,its not like they'd return anyways.
Word count: 507.
