Tell me ,when we where younger and we'd run and jump on puddles that'd stain our feet and leave brown smudges on our white socks.
Did you enjoy does moments ?.
When our mothers would yell at the both of us for being young and stupid all because i saw the sunsets rise in your eyes and your lips dripped with sincerity --pure sincerity that i loved .You could never lie to me .
Was it ever genuine ?.
Did you lie to me ,in place of the truth?. When you said you'd never go ,when you'd said you'd stay in my bedroom at night and watch me sleep ,just so to protect me from the mosquitoes ,just to make sure i wasn't so cold .Because you cared.
Was it true ?--
Tell me ,the day you came to visit with your mother and you followed her in ,confidently .Your small feets glided in the apartment and my dad had yelled at you to not wear your shoes ,You had looked up at him and then at my face .I smiled and you laughed ,going to take of your shoes .
Did i tickle you ?--was i the cause of your laughter .Did i make you smile ?-
When we would build houses, with wrappers and our mattresses ,chairs left to capsize on air ,just like ships without weight floating on water. We would do that to act on a game “Mummy and daddy ”,our imaginations where vapid for our age and you wanted more but i refused.
Where you angry--did it annoy you ?.
The next time i saw you ,you didn't hold my hands tight .You barely looked at me ,you didn't even smile .I caused it ,i knew i was the reason .
But when you laid on my shoulders and you let salty water leave your eyelids and land on my shoulders. When you squeezed on my hand so shakily ,i thought you might collapse. When your choked voice reminded me of falling Ashes ,staining the sky black and fire around us .
Did you feel it ,the drift .
I used to think i was yours and you where mine ,until you went away and didn't utter even a goodbye .I had cried on your departure .
Did you feel the same way .
I ...I was out of words the day i saw you and her ,i thought she was your friend or maybe your acquaintance .When you labelled her as your wife i felt something in me die and something grow instead ,was it hate or dislike .I want to know one thing ,all those nights you called ,all those texts ,personal texts we shared .The way you stroked my hair and played with the lines of my palms --
Do you miss them ,like i do --
Sitting here ,staring at you laugh ,i now remember my mistake .Watching you squeeze her hand and the swollen belly out front,how you'd occasionally bring her fingers to your lips to kiss them just to make her giggle. The frosts in your eyes when you'd stare at her ,the gleam it'd bring the both of you.I now understand why i feel this way. Burnt and useless.
I was four when you called me beautiful ,you where twelve when you forgot my birthday .I was Ten when i held your hand once and you ,Eighteen when you called some one else yours .I'm eighteen now and you're married .How can i forget ,you always called me your sister ,not your lover .
I am a fool ,a big fool for love .
Those days really meant nothing to you --how would they ?--i was just your sister .You're abandoned lover .
Word count : 613
