My Amazing Boyfriend [Park Jimin FF]

Chapter Thirty-Eight

H A N A  P O V

"Oppa, have you seen Jungkook? I would really like to talk with him before I leave..." I sighed, plopping my bag onto the living room couch.

It's safe to say that I'm nervous. Now that I'm leaving I have to clear some more things up. Maybe even answer some questions that might seem unanswered.

"Honestly, he left early this morning. I have no idea where he ran off to and now that I think about it, even Jimin, where'd he go?" Jin was now just as lost as I was. I didn't even notice at first that Jimin wasn't here. I've been too occupied thinking about how to leave off this chapter with Jungkook because I want to start a new one. One that I'd hope to have a happier ending.

"I haven't seen Jimin either." I shook my head. I can't believe I didn't even notice my boyfriend was gone...

"You don't think they're together do you?" Jin asked raising a brow.

"Together? They have tension between them... if they were alone who knows what could happen..." now I was panicking, "Jin get your ass up, we have to go look for them." I demanded.

Jin quickly jumped to his feet and grabbed for my hand, "You're right, It's not best to leave them alone..." he sighed. 

J U N G K O O K   P O V

"I'm surprised you are willing to talk with me." I chuckled lightly.

"Same here, I thought you hated my guts." Jimin kept his head low playing with his hands.

I laughed, "I already told you before, I don't like you." I scoffed, "I don't hate you, hate is a very strong word. Anyway, more or so, at this point I envy you.".

"Envy? Why?" he raised his head. He looked surprised.

"You have Hana by your side." I looked him straight into his eyes, "You're lucky. Lucky to have a girl love you through all that trauma is envious. She must really truly care for you because I'm positive anyone else would've left." he added.

"To be honest, I don't understand why she didn't walk away from me either. I agree with you." he lowered his head again, seemingly starring down at the ground.

But he raised his head high again, "But I can say I'm forever grateful for the fact that she didn't walk away." he sat there starring off for a bit, "Hey listen, I'm only going to tell you this, don't ever tell Jin or Hana." he sighed.

"What? What could you only want to tell me, and why?" I scoffed staring at him.

"If Jin or Hana were to know they'd never let their eyes off of me again." he chuckled lightly, scratching the back of his head, "With you, I feel like you could keep my secret and besides those two, I don't really have anyone else. If I don't say anything, it'll eat me up on the inside." he sighed heavily before going back into the conversation. He seemed a bit hesitant, but he spoke, "I was going to take my life. I was going to walk out that door and never look back.".

"You what?! Are you mad?!" I stood onto my feet, "You're joking right?".

I looked for a shift in his expression, but he sat there stone faced, "I'm not." he swallowed hard.

"Jimin... come on man. I don't know you that well, but can you truly say that you would have taken your own life?!" spitting out those words were hard. Only because i've been in the same boat.

"That's the thing Jungkook, you don't know me. You don't know the hell I've been through being on this earth. How tormented I've been, how lost I was. Do you know anything about my past? Anything about me?" he provoked my thoughts.

I sighed, "I can't say that I do. To be honest I didn't know anything about you until a few days ago. Jin never had even brought you up before and Hana, she never really told me much about her situation or why she was even with us in the first place." I lowered my eyes.

I can tell by his expression he was a little upset, "That makes sense. I didn't know about you either and I don't blame Hana for not trying to dwell on the negativity that she's experienced in the last few months. I'm actually glad to know she's been treated very kindly and has been taken care of." he smiled softly, "But I think you should know about me a bit more. Maybe you'll understand why I felt so hopeless in the moment..." he sighed again, "I've taken the lives of countless people, from kids to adults. I've murdered innocent people with my bare hands." he stopped for a moment, seeming to recollect some of this thoughts.

"One day I had found someone who saw beyond the monster, someone who changed how I saw the world, how I saw myself, but she was taken away from me by someone who I once called my only friend... I was falling apart and for years I kept to myself. Even with Jin I was always standoffish, but he was the first person to break through the walls I had developed." he smiled slightly.

"Then I met Hana. She changed me all over again. She gave me yet another reason to live on this planet, but I treated her like an object. I never put her feelings first, and I made her weak. I was being inconsiderate and selfish, so If I were to lose her it would've been my own fault. And without her, the purpose of life I had gained would have no longer existed". I can't believe he opened up to me.

I stood there just staring. I had no idea. I couldn't think of anything to say back to him. I judged him so harshly before... I called him a coward for hiding behind his insecurities, but now I see why he was truly so scared to lose her, why he had those insecurities to begin with. He's lost so much. He's been through so much and I can tell that was just a brief overview of his past. There's probably so much that he's left out.

"Dude, don't feel bad for me. Don't take back anything that you've said to me... I needed to hear every single word that you've said because you gave me another reason to stay and to keep trying. Believe it or not, but your words made me realize so much. Your words gave me the boost that I needed. Every single word said by both you and Jin has given me hope. Hope that maybe I'm not as far gone as I thought I was. So thank you." he smiled softly.

This guy was seriously broken...