𝙲𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚟𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎 ✓

e-l-e-v-e-n

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"Ni?" Zayn asks softly, interrupting the soft sounds of their breathing that have been filling the room for the past hour. It's been three days since the outburst with his parents, and he has not wanted to talk about it once.

"Yeah?" Niall's voice, just as soft as Zayn's, sounds so defeated. So sad.

"Talk to me," Niall sighs, shifting a little so his leg is across Zayn's and his head is on his chest, Zayn's arm firmly planted around them. In nothing but their boxers, they can feel nearly every part of their other half.

"I'm sad," Zayn squeezes his eyes shut, the crack in Niall's voice at his words bringing a fresh wave of hurt over the both of them.

"I know, baby," Zayn squeezes Niall's hand in his own as they rest on his chest before pressing a kiss to the top of Niall's head, his blond hair tickling his nose as he does so.

"I don't understand how they could hate me so much," Zayn nods despite the fact that Niall can't see it.

"They don't hate you, love, they just don't know you," Niall lets out a scoff, burying himself a little further in Zayn's arms.

"They don't want to know me."

"I know. I have no explanation," Niall sighs quietly, his eyes slipping closed.

"You know, I used to try so hard. I tried so hard for so long to earn their love but it was never enough. I was never enough and I don't know why," Niall's whole body sags with disappointment and sadness, Zayn holding him together.

Zayn is the only thing that has ever held him together.

"I know, baby," Zayn whispers, his lips kissing lightly on the top of Niall's head.

"I was seven years old. It was father's birthday and I spent two days making this card. Pulled out all the stops - cardstock, glitter, stickers, colourful pens and markers, all just to make him happy. I was only seven, and he was me da. I wanted to make him happy and I wanted him to know how much I loved him," Niall's voice breaks ever so slightly and he takes a breath before continuing, Zayn's thumb running across the top of Niall's knuckles to offer some sort of comfort.

"I kept it hidden in my room so he wouldn't accidentally find it, only working on it in the closet so he wouldn't walk in and catch what I was doing. I wrote in it how I loved him and how I wanted him to have the best birthday and that he was the best dad a kid could ever have because I loved him so much.

"And the time came to give it to him. We were having dinner at his favourite restaurant, and the staff had just brought out this little miniature cake for him that they'd made. In hindsight, I now know that's a little weird. Usually it's just a slice of cake or something similar, but they made him his own miniature cake. Maybe because he's rich, maybe because he ate there all the time, I'm not sure, but that's what they did," Niall's voice turns a little confused, a small smile making it's way to Zayn's face. He loves how Niall sounds when he's confused or thinking through something, and he likes how he doesn't sound so sad for a moment.

"We all sang 'Happy Birthday', mother gave him this beautiful, amazing watch and a humidor for his cigars. He was smiling so much as he kissed her and told her that he loves her. Greg gave him Chuck Berry live at the Fillmore because father has always loved Chuck Berry and he loves using his record player.