𝙲𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚟𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎 ✓

t-h-i-r-t-y--t-h-r-e-e

The creek of the old wood in the church is eerie, the wind whistling through the rafters and the sound of birds in the outdoors filling in the silence

It's a beautiful day, honestly. The weather is lovely and the sky is bright blue, a rarity in London, and it's calming. But Niall is sat there alone, silently grieving for what he's to do next.

His finger spins the ring on the necklace around his neck as his teeth sink into his bottom lip. He finally figures he should just go for it, dropping the ring and releasing his teeth as he leans forward, closing his eyes. He'd kneel down like he's supposed to, but the brace and dislocation of his knee, which is healing nicely, sort of prevents that. He links his hands together in front of him, his forearms resting on the pew in front of him as he bows his head.

It's so weird, he thinks, to be back here after all this time. He left the church ages ago, didn't feel the need to keep attending. Religion was never something he felt strongly about, it was more his parents' thing. But still, there are moments when he finds himself sending up a quick prayer. Today is no day for a quick prayer, though, today is a day for some serious prayer.

So he finds himself siting in front of the statue of the Virgin Mary, desperate for some healing or comfort or even some strength to bury his fiancé.

He knows they never actually got engaged, but for what it's worth, Zayn was his fiancé. They got each other rings, and Zayn would have said yes without a moment's hesitation, he knows that - there's no reason why he can't call Zayn his fiancé.

Zayn is probably up in Heaven looking down on Niall, happy that Niall is calling him that. They wanted nothing more than to marry one another, it's probably bringing a smile to his face to know Niall thinks of him as his fiancé.

Niall's intentions to pray are good, he can honestly say that, but when the time comes to say any words, the only thing he can get out is a quiet, "Please."

Please make this easier?

Please give me the strength to do this?

Please help me not breakdown in front of everyone?

Please surround me with people I love who love me so that I can feel some form of comfort?

Niall's not sure exactly what it is he's asking, he just knows that he needs it.

He can hear the door open to the church, two pairs of footsteps walking down the centre aisle behind where he's sitting off to the right in the middle.

It's no surprise, people often will walk into the church to pray, as Niall is, or for confession or whatever else they may need with one of the priests, so Niall doesn't even bother to lift his head as the footsteps draw nearer and nearer, until they stop right beside him.

He looks up and sees Louis and Liam, wearing their nicest suits, standing solemnly in front of him. He is also in his nicest suit, something Greg brought over to the house for him so he could wear it for the funeral.

He intends to burn it, or maybe throw it off a bridge after this. He will never wear it again.

"How are you holding up?" Liam asks, Louis nodding along a little to show he meant to ask that, as well.

Niall just shrugs and pushes himself up to sit back in the pew, gesturing for the other two to fill in beside him. Liam steps over him and sits on his right while Louis sits to his left, effectively sandwiching him in between the both of them.

"You okay?" Louis asks, Niall shrugging again as he starts to fidget with the ring again.

"Do you want to talk?" Niall shakes his head no. He has no words right now, has no need for them. His pain does not need to be explained, it just is what it is, "That's okay, you don't have to if you don't want to. Just know we're here to listen," Niall is honestly so grateful for Liam and Louis. They're so understanding and kind and they've really become people Niall feels he can go to with things.