This Town

Chapter Seventeen

I walked her back to her house and went into mine. I sat in my room, in the dark, yelling at myself for being an idiot. It's like I had the good angel and the bad angel on my shoulder, duking it out.

'You should just tell her, Niall. What do you have to lose?'

                                                                                                                                                                             'Everything.'

'Or maybe you'll gain everything?'

                                                                        'Or maybe she'll punch you in the nuts and tell ya to fuck off?'

'Or maybe she loves you, too? Ever thought of that?'

                                                                                                                       'Or maybe she's just your best friend?'

A knock on the door interrupted my chaotic thoughts. "Yeah," I said.

It was my mum, she had stayed for dinner, "I'm about to head out, baby. I'm so proud of you. Did you find Siobhan?"

"Yea, I found her. Told her. She's really excited for me. I just wish she could come."

My mum sat down on the bed next to me, "I know ya do. I know you two have had big plans for forever. I guess we'll just have to see how it all goes." She rubbed my back a little, "But..." she paused.

"But what?"

"Perhaps you should take the next three weeks to really look at some things. Figure some things out. Because if you do make it, or continue on this show for awhile, it'll be awhile before you come home again. Perhaps you should say some things that have been on your mind for awhile now." She patted my back and stood up to leave.

"What if I can't do it?" I asked, pleading for an answer.

She turned back and said, "But what if you don't? What if you let it all slip right through your fingers?" She left me in my room to contemplate that.

I sat there for a few minutes really thinking about that. I looked out my window and saw her light was still on. 'Do it!' my inner self kept screaming. I turned around, walked out of my room and out of my house and marched myself over to her window. I took a deep breath, held it in, and rapped on her window.