This Town

Chapter Eighteen

I rapped again. I didn't hear anything, so I knocked harder. She finally opened the curtain to see me standing there. She opened the window and stuck her head out, "Niall, what are you doing here?" she whispered.

"I, uh, need to ask you something. Can you come out for a minute, please?"

She looked at me oddly but climbed out the window anyway. I helped her down and took her hand. But said nothing.

"Niall?"

"Yeah," I said, not looking at her.

She tried to duck down to get herself into my line of sight but I kept moving my head. "You okay?"

"No."

"What's wrong? Something happen?"

"Why did you kiss me?" I blurted out.

"Huh?"

"Why did you kiss me? Last year at the fair and then again after the Christmas dance?"

"You know why. Practice."

"Is that really all it was? Practice? It didn't feel like practice." I looked at her to see if there was anything but I couldn't tell. "C'mon, Siobhan, why did you kiss me?"

"Because I wanted to. Because I wanted to know what it was like to kiss a boy. And who better to ask than my best friend. Why are you asking me about that?"

I then went silent. "Because, I don't know. Why did you blame me for what happened with Devon? Why did you say it was my fault?"

She looked away and bit her lip. She let go of my hands and leaned against her window sill. "I don't know. I was angry at him and angry at you.....and angry at myself."

She whispered that last part but I heard it. "Why are you angry at yourself?"

"Because, Niall, I am! You're right, I should've never kissed you! I should've never thought....." she trailed off again and then it all hit me. She liked me, too. Her explanation of 'practice' was just an excuse. It explains why she acted nervous when asking me to kiss her; why she got so mad at me for running off; why she blamed me for being afraid when she was just as scared.

I smiled, having figured it all out.

"Niall? Earth to Niall?" she waved a hand in my face.

"Huh? Sorry, I just realized something," I said, goofy grin on my face.

"What?" she asked, looking nervous.

"Why did you start dating Devon?"

"What? What's that got to do with anything?"

"You started dated him right after we had our big fight. Why? I had never heard you mention him or act like you liked him."

"Niall, why does that matter now? Devon isn't a part of the picture anymore."

"No, he's not. He fucked up. He let you get away. He's the dumbest fucker alive!" I said, getting really giddy all of a sudden.

She semi laughed but was still unsure of where I was going with everything. "Yeah, he did. And?"

I looked her dead in the eyes and said, "And I'm not going to be that stupid."

"Huh?" she looked at me like I had gone mad, which perhaps is true. But my mum was right, I wouldn't know unless I tried. And I had already gotten through one hurdle that week, why not get through another? "Niall, you're talking nonsense."

"No, Siobhan, I'm talking perfect sense!" I leapt up off the ground, giddy. "Don't you see, we've spent our entire friendship talking about getting out of this place, together. How we were going to make a life somewhere else, together. We've been building to this the entire fucking time!"

"To what?" she said, a small smile coming on to her face.

"To this moment, right here, right now!" I said this as I pulled her to me and kissed her. And I'll be damned, she kissed me back.