12- April

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Instead of doing what I originally planned to do, Chan and i sat on his bed and watched a film. I instinctively sat very close with him, sliding my arm under him so that he would say by my side.
I refused to admit it but i was worried about what Sunho would do if i kept ignoring him. My ex was abusive and toxic and I should've left him sooner. I was just afraid to be alone again. Luckily i had Felix and Changbin to nurse me back to being happier.
As i rested my head on Chan's chest and wrapped my other arm around him, i heard him mumble 'cutie'. I listened to his steady heartbeat, not really paying attention to the movie anymore.
"Channie," i said quietly. He hummed in response. "Can i stay here a while?"
"Of course you can." He replied instantly. "Wanna tell me what's happened?"
I shook my head gently. The last thing i need is him to baby me because of the past. I just want to be somewhere that isn't my bedroom.
"Want me to let Changbin know you're staying?" He offered.
"No." I sat up slightly to look at him. "He can't know I'm with you because he might piece together that we keep meeting up." He could sense my panic and so he stroked my back, coaching me to lay back down.

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