Idiot of the Highest Order

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"You are an idiot of the highest order."

Alpha frowned at Four. "How?"

Four gave Alpha a blank stare. This went on for about five seconds. "Really? You're going to ask me how?"

"Well, I did just ask, so yes."

Four inhaled sharply. "When I said that we needed to split the two apart, I did not mean by killing one of them! Okay, sure, he's not dead, but he was so close! What the hell were you thinking?!"

"I just didn't want history to repeat itself, I don't think-" Alpha was cut off.

"Woah, okay, stop. You're telling me that by beating him half to death, you're helping to stop it happening again? Alpha, what we're trying to prevent is more Gods dying, and your whole aim there was to kill Error!" Four glared at him. "Is this all about you wanting to 'prove yourself'?"

"No, I-"

The two froze. Behind them they heard slow, obviously sarcastic clapping.

"Ah, here are my two idiots!" King Multiverse teleported in front of them, "So, tell me, boys... What happened?"

Alpha went to speak, but Four talked over him, "Well, Alpha decided to pretty much destroy the destroyer. Had a bone aimed straight at his soul when I got there, had I reacted one second later, I'm not sure he'd even be alive."

King Multiverse sighed. "Yes, I know that, I just don't quite know what Error did to deserve it."

"Error and Ink were in a relationship." Alpha said, despite the warning look from Four. King Multiverse frowned. And did nothing more. He reacted as if someone had just told him something mildly confusing. They waited another ten seconds before King Multiverse spoke.

"I'm waiting for someone to elaborate."

"Oh." Four said, jumping in before Alpha could, "Well... the two accidentally met somewhere and were dating for a few weeks. Don't worry, they're split now, and I don't think they're going to want to get back together any time soon."

"And that was Alpha's doing?" The King asked. 

"Yep, that was me," Alpha piped up again. Four smirked at the way he looked almost proud, like he was expecting praise from the King.

"Who do you think you are?" The King asked. It was clearly a rhetorical question,  but Alpha answered anyway.

"A God who has power over the Lower Gods-"

"No, you weren't supposed to answer that, you retard!" The King said in an exasperated tone, "But seriously though, what where you thinking? You know that you're not to critically injure a lower God without consulting me first! And what's worse is that you had intended to kill him!"

"How can you prove that?" Alpha hissed.

"Four says you were aiming for his soul. That's probably the quickest way to kill someone!" The King yelled. 

"I wasn't gonna kill him!" Alpha protested.

"Really didn't seem that way." Four snarled. Alpha stepped forwards, making Four almost laugh. "What, you're trying to fight me now too?"

King Multiverse sighed. "Come on, Alpha. Start a fight with him and you'll end up on the same ward as Error. And plus if one of us gets to beat the crap out of you, it should be me."

"I wasn't going to start a fight!" Alpha said defensively, "Although now you've said that-"

"Alpha."

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