Beautifully Broken

- 27 -

The gun in my hand has no more bullets in it - I know. Countless men are bounding down the stairs at this very moment - I know. If I do manage to get out of the door, I have nowhere to go - I know. 

But I have to try

I throw the butt of my gun towards her head. As she tries to dodge it, I duck to the ground sliding towards her. Kicking my leg under her's causing her to fall. Quickly, I move my already lifted leg wrapping it around her neck sending both of us to the floor. Wrapping the other leg as well, I have her in a chokehold.

"It didn't have to be like this," I sigh, squeezing with all that was left in me.

She gurgled something from underneath me. It wasn't long until she stopped moving entirely.

I immediately roll off of her. I couldn't even find it in myself to look at her lifeless body. The immense dread that swallows my chest is draining. I've never felt this way about taking someone's life. It's crazy how someone can betray you so badly and you still feel terrible about giving them what they deserve.

I can count on one hand the number of people that have shown me kindness in my life. Amber is one of them. I'd always felt like she's had my back, at least at work. The person on the floor next to be is someone I don't know. That's not the Amber I'm aware of. 

Life kinda sucks, maybe it never gets better. 

The loud sound of boots coming down the hallway is what gets me to my feet. I swing the front door open. Bolting to whichever direction I see first. Unfortunately, through my blurred vision, I can still see the large iron gates that separate me from the open road.

What am I going to do?

"Get her!" Yelling can be heard from behind me, "Dead or alive!"

I want to cry. I want to give up and just let them kill me. The more I think about it the more I question why the hell I'm trying so hard. I have nothing once I scale that fence. I have no one.

Pride - that's what keeps me from dying. Knowing that I've gotten out of a whole lot worse. At this point, the only person I'd let kill me is myself. 

A guard comes out of the little room next to the gate. Gun pointed at me. Finger on the trigger. My head starts to reel at all of the things that I could do. I try and process every outcome and pick which one is the best.

BANG

Oop- well that eliminates all of them.

I duck behind the base of a water fountain. From the quick glance, I got of his gun I'd say it's not very big. My best guess is 14 bullets in his magazine. In the case that I am wrong. I'll be dead.

6

I look around me, making sure that the other guards don't see me

10

Moving to a crouch position, I get ready to bolt

14

Up and over, I run.

I was right. I saw the man grab another magazine from his belt. By the time he could cock it and point it at me. I was already in front of him. Hands around his neck with a quick and fast movement I hear a satisfying snap.

As his body hits the floor it was my turn to point and aim the gun.

BANG

BANG

Two guards managed to follow me into the small room. A bullet to the head for both of them. I see about 4 more come charging towards where I stood.

"Shit," I mumble frantically.

Looking around at all the buttons, but I don't see which one opens the stupid gate. Every time I glance up at the men they're 4 feet closer.

I have to make a decision

I walk out of the room, hands raised.

"Okay, okay!" I yell before they open fire, "I give up!"

Two of the men smile, while the other two walk back into the house. Probably to tell their superior. They slow their run to walk, putting their guns away. As soon as one of them is in arm's length, I grab him. Pulling him to my side.

In a flash, I had his gun in my hand and pressed against his temple. I don't give a small speech on why they should let me go. I don't tell them to back off. I just shoot. I shoot the guy in my arms and I shoot his friend.

Before the other guards have a chance to hear the gunshots, I scale the fence. It's like when I would climb the large tree in my backyard. My father said that I could make anything my castle, so I decided on a tree. It was high up and I could see everything from my favorite branch. 

My mother cut that tree down when I was 14.

Once my feet hit the floor again, I start running. Running into the nearby woods and then running even further.

It was the first time all day that I hadn't looked back.

And it felt great

After twenty minutes of pure running, I have to stop. If they're still chasing me after this, then they deserve to kill me. The adrenaline has worn off at this point. All I can feel is my body aching and in pain.

The trees nearby are starting to look really comfortable. A mahogany tree looks the most inviting.

It reminds me of Cole

I can't tell you how much I just want a hug from him right now. I've never craved his touch to such an extreme before. My sore back slides down the rough bark. It feels so good to let my body shut down for a second. 

In and out - I try and calm my breathing.

I can't shake the feeling of anxiousness. My limbs seem to be hard to move. Almost like they're constricted or inflated by something. Next hits nausea. What for? I have no clue.

A part might be because I haven't eaten a proper meal in however many days. Another part might be the exhaustion my body feels. My stomach feels warm and my clothes start to feel uncomfortable on it.

Red

That's all I see when I look down. Blood gushes from my stomach, the amount is so great that I couldn't even pinpoint the exact location of the wound. As soon as I thought I was safe. I've been shot. I don't even know which guard did it or when it happened.

But it's bleeding and it's bleeding a lot.

I can't help it. The tears become too heavy from my tear ducts to hold.

I'm sick of this

I'm sick of trying so hard

Nothing ever works. I just want to know when life starts to get better. 

When will I be okay?