Beautifully Broken

- 35 -

I clenched my jaw.

Somehow even when I hate him he still seems to make my heart race. I can't physically look him in the eye. My eyes rest somewhere in between his neck and chin. I square my hips, facing him on the opposite side of the mat. I can feel all eyes on me, including Cole's.

"Everyone out." His voice quiet yet demanding.

No one argues. They all set their equipment down and head to the door. The shut of the metal door sound echos off the walls. Only then do I make eye-contact with Cole. Just to see when we'd start.

I refuse to lose to him

"Ready when you are, Princesa," The side of his lip lifts as he recalls our saying.
(Princess)

"My name is Rose," I retort step closer to the middle of the mat, which Cole mimics.

"Anything goes." 

Those were fighting words. I lunge forward, which doesn't even surprise Cole as he sweeps me up with one of his arms. I wrap my legs around his neck and pull us both down. I started on top of him trying my best to pin his arms. He bumps me with his lower body, taking me to fly out in front of him.

Which I, ever so gracefully, land on my head.

I won't lie, it hurt

Immediately rolling to my legs, I get up. It was a wrestling match for what seems like hours. Once we got closer to the weapons, the fighting started to pick up. He sparked it by pushing my gut into the wall. I retaliated by attempting to kick his leg; It didn't work.

Cole had to be 6'5 and well over two hundred pounds of pure muscle. I guess I really didn't take that into account when I agreed to the match. However, even in a literal fight he still didn't hurt me. He was very gentle when handling me. Unfortunately, I like it rough. 

The pretty matte black Glock hanging on the wall caught my attention. Neither of us had used anything other than our hands at this point. However, I'm kind of tired of getting the shit kicked out of me. 

I look into Cole's eyes. He's too concentrated on my body to know where my mind is at. With a small jump and turn of the body, I kick the gun up with my feet and catch in my hands.

The move was impressive, I don't even think Cole grasped what all happened. The next thing he knew was I had a gun between his eyes.

He stared blankly, giving no hint of feeling.

I knew I wasn't going to shoot him

He knew I wasn't going to shoot him

But the fact of the matter is that I have a gun and it's inches away from his temple.

His face was cold but still sinfully handsome. It was like something about holding weapons to his face made my heartache. It yelled at me to pull it away. If I'm being honest, I don't even know what I wanted to prove anymore. Cole's large hand moves the gun closer, the muzzle of the gun now laid directly on his temple.

"If I were to die by the hands of someone, I would want it to be you,"

"Oh, shut the fuck up," I snarl.

"You'll run away from my heart," I lower the gun slightly, "But will stare straight down the barrel of a gun?" I shove him with my free hand, he doesn't budge.

"I'll never be enough for you will I?" I take the gun off safety.

Cole's eyes bounce from the gun back to my eyes. It infuriates me that I can't tell what he's thinking. My anger feels like heat inside my chest and throat; the heat rising to my face. Even through all of this I know, I won't hurt him. I couldn't if wanted to.

"Princesa-"
(Princess)

The door opening cuts him off, a guard comes bounding in from behind it.

"Excuse me, but I'm going to have to ask you to lea-" 

I shoot him. I don't feel like pretending I'm a good person today, not right now. I'm going to hell anyway so why not give the world a show while I'm at it. Fuck morals. Fuck love. Fuck sanity. Fuck happiness. 

"Why don't you ask if anybody else wants to join us?" I spit sarcastically, cutting my eyes at Cole.

He snorts, "I didn't call him in here, he looked on the cameras."

I didn't know there were cameras in here, but it makes sense. Not that it matters.

"You can't just keep it all inside, you know? Bottling it up won't do any good." The gun in my hand again placed at his temple.

"These thoughts aren't for you," He states simply.

"And why the hell not?" 

Cole hits my hand, loosening my grip. He removes the weapon from my hands throwing it somewhere across the room. Hands wrap around my waist as he slams me against the padded wall. My ears ring from the sudden impact.

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can protect you from myself," His hot breath fans my face. Just like adding air to fire.

It calms, yet grows

"Stop trying to protect me!" I jeered, "I'm not the little broken girl that you saw at the club anymore. I have grown and I have put my past behind me,"

I take a sharp breath, "I don't want you around because you protect me. I want you around because I enjoy your company. I enjoy you, as a person. I don't keep coming back because I have nowhere to go but I come back because I'd rather be nowhere else than in your arms," 

My heart prods at my chest; almost as if it wanted to jump out and connect with his. I just want to get through to him.

"Why can't you see that I just want to be with you, fuck everything else!" I push back at his body, yet he stays still. His eyes peering at me, looking as if he's absorbing all the information I've given him.

"Lorena," he pauses, "I love you."

I freeze.

"There's no other way to put it, there's nothing else to say," His body if possible, seems to press into me even more. "I don't know how to love, and I don't want to screw it up with you."

It's at this moment that the flood of emotions he was feeling was shown in his eyes. I'd compare it to letting your walls down. He let his walls down.  He no longer had a cold, emotionless look on his face.

"If you don't let your past die then you won't ever live," I press my forehead against his, "Let's just live. Don't worry about what will happen next."

He let our heads rest against each other. The only sound that could be heard was our rapid breathing. If it was how close we were to each other or the endless wrestling we just did, I am unsure.

Cole chuckles, "You're a hard person to forget."

With that, he smashes his lips on mine. The pink, plump lips that were recurring in my dreams were finally on mine. They molded together perfectly: My lips, his. It's almost as if kissing anybody else would be wrong. Our lips moved in sync, my head turned right as he did the opposite. He tasted of heaven, despite the devilish look of his lips.

It's him

Because no one else

Makes sense

And if it's not him

Then I don't want it

I pull away, releasing my hand from under his body. I rear back and bring my hand across his face, the sound echoing in the walls. The slap was just in case he didn't mean the words he said. He has a track record of saying things he doesn't mean. 

"Asshole," I mutter, trying to shift my way out of his grip. He very easily brings my body back on the wall.

"I'll take that," His eyes cut into me beautifully.

He moves to talk once again,

"I don't care how complicated this gets, I still want you."