𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐋𝐏𝐇𝐀〔𝐤.𝐧𝐣 𝐱 𝐣.𝐣𝐤〕

15

Namjoon wasn't the type of skipping a lesson. But after the incident with Jungkook, he didn't dare to look into anyone's eyes.

He could almost hear all the whispers when he would come to school tomorrow.
A slut. That will be what they call me.
If Namjoon regretted his decision? No, he kinda enjoyed it and his brother would be finally in a pack.

But Namjoon was mostly embarrassed to look into Taehyung's eyes, that's why he avoided him the whole day.
Namjoon layed in his bed, his eyes were red from crying and he couldn't really breath because of his stuffy nose. Besides that, his jaw still hurted.
He whined. Namjoon wanted to cuddle someone, he wanted to get distracted by the thoughts which were running around in his head.

The omega felt useless. He felt unloved. Especially unwanted. Namjoon would smile the whole day, just so nobody could see his broken soul. He learned to hide his feelings. Maybe that's what hurted him even more. The pain in his heart. No one ever came to him and cared about him. He'd say 'I'm fine' and everyone wouldn't ask further. Namjoon saw himself as a burden.
The brunette didn't know what was keeping him alive. His brother? Or the thought that people started to care? At least a little bit? He literally didn't know.
If he would end the things, no one could rape him again. No one could punch him again. No one would ever laugh at him again.

Tears ran over his cheeks again and he hid his face in his fluffy pillow, trying not to make a sound. It is too much. Why does it hurt like this?
His breath became faster, every second he tried to suck in more oxygen. He sat up, his view became blurry for a few seconds. Namjoon just wanted to scream. He always wanted other people to be happy and safe. And he? He never looked after himself. He would always give people his last food if he had to, he would always make other people happy even though he's hurt. Namjoon would not talk about his feelings, scared that he would annoy someone. The brunette would tell other people to love theirself because everyone with a good heart is beautiful and what really matters is the character. But he didn't love himself.

The omega put his head in his hands, sniffling lightly. His stomach grumbled, he didn't eat something after he came home.
Suddenly there was a soft knock on the door.
Namjoon hurried to put the covers over him, turned his back to the door and acted like he would sleep. Even though he gave no answer, the door opened anyways.

Taehyung stood at the door frame and looked at the figure of his brother. "Mama wanted you to eat something," the blue haired male said and put the plate with a sandwich on Namjoon's desk. Taehyung sighed and sat himself on the edge of his brother's bed.
"Are you okay?" he asked, biting his lip uncomfortably.

The young omega had a bad feeling in him. His brother was barely weak in front of him and if Namjoon thought that Taehyung didn't see the dry tears, then he was wrong.
"I-..I don't think you're disgusting or anything, Joonie Hyung," Taehyung mumbled and laid next to Namjoon. He hesitated but then he eventually put his arm around Namjoon's waist. The younger burried his face into Namjoon's neck, holding him tight.

It was quiet for a few seconds until a sob broke it. Taehyung hold him even tighter, whispering little sentences like 'You're the best brother' or 'I love you' in his ear.
I don't deserve this. Namjoon wanted Taehyung to stop. To stop saying this bullshit. He started to shook his head and tried to free himself of the embrace. Taehyung knew nothing and still he talked to Namjoon like he knew everything.

"I'll ask Jungkook to allow you to be in his pack, too! I'm with him after school!" Taehyung exclaimed.
"Why are you with him after school?" Namjoon asked confused, still not turning his head to his brother. His tears stopped again.

Taehyung sighed quietly.
"Because of the permission to be in the pack. Jungkook isn't the real leader yet and I need to get to know the 'Midnight pack'. I want you to be with me, Hyung!" Taehyung whined and cuddled his brother more and more.

Namjoon smiled sadly. "Nah, I'm fine, Tae." the brunette responded and tried to hold his upcoming tears in.
"Do you think they'll want me to live with them?", "I don't know. Maybe." Namjoon squeezed his eyes. His heart hurted and his throat felt dry in a weird way.

"I want to stay with you!" the younger said, concerned about his brother's health. "Namjoon Hyung, if you want to talk to someone..I'm here!" Taehyung mumbled quietly.
Namjoon gulped and shook his head slightly. "Taehyung, stop please. No one needs to save me from anything."

You can't save me from myself.

_______________________

Sorry if there are any mistakes. I'm writing on my IPad and can't see every mistake. But I already checked it :) Anygays.. I don't know what I was thinking while I was writing the chapter.

I wanted Namjoon to feel sad.. I told you that he has a bit depression and...now I feel bad, lol