Travis's thoughts + random stuff

Word

I feel like i've gotten worse at writing stories and that i don't write enough. I mean i obviously can write if i set my mind to it. Eg: Edgy lbp 2 story.

BUT LIKE- my "the unforgiving gods" story? I gave up. I just can't write a consistent story and that really sucks. People say i'm creative, but i don't think so. Just because I can write and draw doesn't mean i am good at coming up with ideas for it. I can't create ideas!1! I just can't.

Thats why i have my "random stories" book for random stories. BECAUSE I CAN'T WRITE JUST ONE STORY. HHH. I applaud all the people who can actually write a consistent and interesting story, i really do. I wish i could myself but i'm just not creative enough to do that.

Also people say i have a lot of hidden potential and i'm like?? bitch where?? if u could find it, please tell me because i need that potential rn. Like everytime people say im great or something im just liike?? bitch no? im not a great person, i suck at everything. I'm so sensitive and get upset easily. Why does anybody even like me? 

I don't know why people get so excited to see my. Like one of my mums friends always exclaim my name when she sees me, but why? I never speak or do anything interesting, i'm always locked away in my room and when i am out i barely even talk. I'm not someone who you should be happy to see becaise you have no reason to be happy. 

Like whenever i went to school (back at my public school) the teachers were always happy to see me, but why? I guess because im a teachers pet. I never yell or talk over teachers but i also never really put up my hand to talk and when i get called on i can't say anything and want to cry. Also want to cry when i do presentations. I guess that's why i've been prescribed anti depressants but they haven't done anything that i can notice yet. One of my mums friend says she wants to take me out to like, the city or something but?? Why me?? I am literally the most uninteresting person ever.

Also whenever people ask my about what music or shows i like/watch i just answer "nothing" or "i don't really have one" but I DOOOOOO. But i'm embarrassed to say because its all kiddy stuff or things you don't know. Like how am i supposed to tell u my fav singers are Co Shu Nie and Jack Stauber you don't know who they are and Co Shu Nie is japanese hhh. Also how am i supposed to be like "oh yeah Spongebob is my fav show/musical" without feeling like im being judged.

HHHhhHH, why are all my interests so childish compared to everyone i know, like the only one i can tell is my brother because he's like the closest i'm too because we're only like, 2 years apart. So we get each others references a lot because we are internet ppl and just HHHHDBHJB.

Anyways thats my rambling done about random shit. I'm fine if you ask I just want to get all these thoughts out about stuff.