A Mighty Surprise

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My body stood tense as the world around me slowed down and I allowed my thoughts to consume me. This wasn't real... it couldn't be real... it... this isn't real... there's no way that it is. I'm dreaming. It's just another stupid dream that my brain created to mess with me.

As much as I wanted to believe that this was real, I couldn't. As much as I wanted to believe that my father was standing there right in front of me at our doorstep, I couldn't. I've spent years running from this rabbit hole of pain and I don't want to fall inside of it once again... I don't know how I got out... I'm not even sure if I know how I got out the first time...

I watched as my vision moved from him to the floor as my head hung low and my fists tightened until my knuckles turned white. I didn't want to look up, it would hurt too much if he just disappeared... if he was gone when I look back...

I've imagined what it would be like to meet my parents, of course, I have, but I never expected it to truly happen. I mean, it hadn't in fifteen years... so why now? And how? How does he know where I am? Why does he know?

My mind slowly began to run around me until my senses became numb as new thoughts crossed my mind at light speed. I couldn't hear anything around me, I couldn't see anything around me and I couldn't feel anything. All I saw were those bits and pieces of my childhood memories, like when I snuck into my nonna's room one of the times she was out and found a picture of my nonno (grandfather in Italian) when he was younger under the bed with a few images of my nonna and my nonno when they were still married and a picture of my parents sitting above them. My parents were smiling and my dad had his arms wrapped around my mom with the goofiest smile I had ever seen, my mom had her eyes closed and was laughing with her dark brown hair falling on her face in a delicate manner.

Before my nonna got home, I hid the pictures again and swore to never tell her. Though, I guess she vouched for the same thing to herself since she never spoke of my parents. Well, she did. She told me a little bit about my mom, but nothing about my dad other than that she loved him very much and he'd be proud of me... that always made me think that he had passed away, but she just doesn't want to talk about it... but seeing this now... makes me think otherwise...

Suddenly, I began to feel tired and dizzy, and my body begged me to sit down. Everything felt like it was spinning, but I remained unable to see the world around me or hear it. My muscles felt heavy and after a while, it felt like I was falling. "Whoa! Be careful." Someone said from behind me, but my mind was so juggled up that I couldn't make out the voice, all I knew was that the person had their arms wrapped around my shoulders and my back, and was holding me steady.

"Hey man, now ain't the right time. Sorry." Yet another voice that I couldn't identify, though unlike the last one it wasn't behind me, it sounded like it was a few feet in front of me.

"I'm sorry, for disturbing, but I truly need to talk to her."

"Dude, it's obvious that you coming here isn't doing good or she wouldn't be like this."

"You don't understand, I-"

"Que mierda. Don't you understand? You're not supposed to be here."

"But I'm her-"

"We heard you're her dad."

"Look, man, you should just come back some other time... any other time."

Before anything else could be said, my mind felt like giving me senses back allowing me to finally identify all the voices and who spoke to who. The boys were trying to help me.

Pushing myself forward slightly, I felt Tye's grip tighten around me. "I'm fine. Don't worry." It was barely above a whisper which only showed how uneasy I still felt, but he didn't even try to object and allowed me to walk past the others. I stopped next to Virgil as we stood in front of my father. Mustering up all the courage I had within me, I forced my gaze upwards, ripping it away from the floor so that I could look at the man standing in our front door. "Why..." 'Louder.' "Why are you..." 'Più forte, dannazione! (Louder, damnit!)' "Why are you here?" My plan hasn't been to act tough, but it was the only thing that made me speak loud enough to be heard and not look weak.

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