Who Was Amelia Coldwell?

/Chapter tjugo/ happy wife, happy life

Sometimes when life gets hard and you try to fix it, it doesn't work. So all you can do is sit helpless, hoping it will end. But it doesn't end, it continues, all hope leaves you, and you simply get used to it.
You give in and accept that your life is going to be this lifeless thing, with dull moments, until finally, you die.

But Carena wasn't ready to give in, she was going to try and be happy. After all, she still had her parents and now she didn't need to worry about paying bills. She was living a life most people wish they could have.
She lived in a mansion, went to expensive parties, owned expensive stuff, and she didn't have to work a day for the rest of her life. She should be grateful, she should be happy.
At least, that's what she tells herself.

So she tries to be, she goes to the fancy dinners, smiles, and makes conversation. She holds her husband's arm and kisses him as if she were a true woman in love.
She tries and hopes the feelings she had long ago for Charles, would come back.
She shops at fancy stores and has brunches with other rich housewives. When they ask her questions about her past she sticks to the lies, never letting anyone know too much.
She played her part perfectly, but she could never make it more than a role.

It was a role she played perfectly, yes, but it didn't change the fact that it was only a role. It wasn't who she was, it could never be who she was.

The only time she felt she could be who she was, the only time she could take a break from her role, was when she visited her parents.
But there weren't many days she could visit them. They were always either in surgery or recovering from surgery.
But she still loved visiting them, reading them stories, playing cards, singing to them. Sometimes she'd simply talk to them about her week, even if they could never say much back. It was the only relief in her life, she wished she could do it daily instead of once a week or sometimes a month.

To cope with not seeing her parents she'd go to the kitchen, either late at night or very early in the morning, and bake. She could make enough to fill a bakery. She'd go out and give them out to children, at parks, schools, and hospitals.
It made the Coldwells look good, so Eugenia didn't force her to stop.

Those things were what normally consisted in her life now. And she does all of that with a smile, thinking if she smiles enough one day it will become real. Until finally she has a moment alone and her smile falls.

But someday she is bound to be happy, she will learn to be happy with the aristocrats and their lifestyle, with her husband and his home.
She will be happy, there must be something, someday, to come and make her truly happy with the life she has. Hopefully, it will come soon.