The Girl on the Bus (REWRITE/ON HOLD)

22

CHAPTER 22

-VANESSA-

"Are you sure you don't want me to go with you?" Blake asks me for the third time this morning.

I decided to go see my dad after school today, and to be honest I didn't know what to expect, and I knew Blake wanted to be there for me. I couldn't help but still feel guilty that he got shot because of me.

I pack the rest of my school supplies into my backpack and zip it up.

"I'm sure Blakey." I reply with a smile.

I could see the doubt in his eyes, and as hard as today was going to be, I didn't have it in me to play the referee between the two males.

Blake let's out a breath and walks towards me slowly, almost cautiously. When he reaches me he cups my face in his hands and places a gentle kiss to my forehead.

"Just promise me you'll call me if you need me? I'll rush there so fast"

I let out a small chuckle and place my hands over his.

"I promise Blake"

He looks at me with so much affection in his gaze, yet there was still a part of him that treated me like a china doll. I hated that part.

I knew he was trying though.

I press my lips against his in a reassurance, for both of us, that I would be ok. That whatever was going to happen, I'd be strong enough to get through it.

When we pull away he rests his forehead against mine and looks into my eyes.

"I'll be right here waiting for you"

I nod in reply. I knew if I spoke my voice would give away how I was truly feeling.

I was terrified.

**

The prison guard escorting me was silent, and it did nothing to calm my nerves. My heart beat was thumping erratically and I couldn't help the twisting feeling in my gut.

This is the first time I'm seeing my dad in almost three weeks. It's the first time I'm seeing my dad sober in.. I don't remember how long.

I didn't have anything to ground me, when I came in they took my phone, my purse, and even my jacket. I didn't have anything to distract me, or to hide behind if this conversation started to go south.

I don't even know why I came. I said it was to get closure, but I don't know if that was the real reason.

The balding top of my dads head came in to view and I felt myself shiver. I was not ready to see him. Especially like that.

The bags under his eyes were prominent and his beard was almost fully covering his face. His cheeks were hollow and his eyes were sunken in. He didn't even look like the same man I knew and once loved, once thought the world of.

I sat down across from him in the metal chair and studied his features, while he refused to look at me. The handcuffs on his wrists and ankles clinked with every move he made, and it suddenly became real.

He can't hurt me anymore.

"Dad?"

His beady eyes flick up to mine and I can see that he has absolutely no remorse. He truly is a monster.

"Vanessa" he spits my name in reply

I didn't know what to say to him. I didn't know what to do.

"Did you come here to gloat? What do you want girl?" He snaps

I flinch away at the harshness in his tone.

"I-I-" I trail off, I didn't know what I wanted.

"You enjoy seeing me like this? Chained up like a fucking animal? This is your doing. All because you want to bounce on a fucking dick. You turned on me. You betrayed me. I don't want to see you again. Ever."

My voice got trapped in my throat. Tears sprung to my eyes and I fought my damndest to hold them in.

"Get out of here slut. Go back to your fucking dog."

This was my father. This is the man that I looked up to for years. I can't believe I hoped being sober would change him.

I stand from the chair and straighten my wobbly legs. I knew where I truly stood. It wasn't just the alcohol making my father a monster. It was a demon deep inside of him. It consumed him. It took every last ounce of goodness from him.

As I walked away from him, from the prison, I let the tears fall freely down my cheeks and I didn't bother wiping them away. I knew he broke me. But I knew that the brown eyed boy I've began to fall for would piece me back together. He would cherish me, he would show me what it's like to be loved.

And I found myself looking forward to seeing him again. Everyday for as long as he'll have me. Even if it doesn't last long. I'm glad I got the chance to feel what it was like to be loved and cherished by someone. What it felt like to be cared for by someone.

I fucking deserve it.

••

That went about how we all expected right?? Kinda breaks my heart how bad her father treats her..