cup forty-four.

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     Shinwon held up better than he expected but every single night as he sat down on the edge of the bed - he could still feel the warmth of the room.

The room shinwon let go and gave all of him.

He just, sat still.

Sluggished and tired at the very edge of the bed, where he felt hui's weight slowly leave the warmth of shinwon's embrace, he could still remember.

Shinwon wasnt asleep that night he walked away.

He was there watching as hui left a small kiss before stepping out.

He almost thought it was a dream.

Averting his eyes, he saw the stacked up nine paper cups beside a fresh red rose that he kept on replacing since the day he left.

The rose...It was a clock.

Something that shinwon would watch until it rot away and time would start again for him. Just like that time he first entered the bedroom the rose all standing in its glory.

It felt silly. How shinwon kept on holding on to that memory but its just... replacing the roses makes him feel like hui was still there with him.

fucking shitty isnt it?

But its much more shittier when he knew himself that he could contact the man he's craving to embrace, to kiss the hell out of but most of all, shinwon just wanted to say that he was proud of him.

Shinwons mind just kept on circling on what hyunggu had told him about the cups.

It wont go away.

The numbers under the menu box, the one where shinwon called ugly, was the key to contact hui.

Each consecutive cups, represents a number.

The first cup, was grey in color. It was zero.
The second, dark red. It was one.
The third, it was blue. Turns out it was six
Then there's the fourth cup in a light purple, it was number nine.

Until shinwon stared back and fort, his mind processing the knowledge it had gathered.

The revelation was taking a toll on his system. Shinwon doesnt know whether he should get angry or get happy at it.

This piece of paper that contains hui's contact number, made shinwon heart to clench because of nervousness.

He really wanted to hear him, his small giggles or even the sound of him getting angry.

He would accept it all, he just wanted to hear him again.

But hyunggu would always remind shinwon that hui needs time to heal himself. He would only be a distraction. A force that would cut short hui's journey to accepting himself.

Those sentence would always make shinwon to hide the paper.

Sighing in disdain, forcing himself to sleep before tears come.


















Shinwon never knew that love would take a lot from him before love grants itself.

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