If She Was Real

Chp. 1 Who Am I?

My name is Autumn and I'm 19 years old. The world I live in is simply a bad world according to all the hate and violence that is occuring. My parents warned me about the world and they keep constantly reminding me that when I'm 20 they are kicking me out, yay for me. Who cares if I am a girl, I'm not weak at all, in fact try to say something to my face about me being weak I will probably fight you. My friends all come to me for help because one time when my best friend Jessica was in trouble cause this guy had told her off because she didn't want to hang with him, I literally went nuts and punched him in the face, how's that for being weak. The guy went home crying and he never was mean to Jessica again that's for sure. I feel like sometimes people say that I don't belong in the world, and I wonder really why they say that cause it's not my fault that I was born. I get really sad when people reject me and I always keep things to myself. I wish there was a way I could escape reality but sadly I haven't figured it out. Anyways I should stop with all this bad talk and tell you about my family. So my mom and dad Michelle Stephens and Zach Stephens have been "happily" married for 26 years which is a lot especially because I never thought they would make it to their 5 year anniversary nevermind their 26th. Oh I forgot to mention I have a really mean brother, his name is bobby but everyone calls him bob which makes him sound old. Here's a few things you should know about my brother, the first is that he is only 19 and he is engaged to some girl he met at a college party. One night this girl came to our house around 1:00 in the morning and was screaming his name, apparently she was drunk and I'm glad our parents were home cause boy did he sure get it later on. After mom and dad found out about their engagement they started treating her like a part of the family and I even had to share my bed with her. I can say that I've never been more disgusted in my life. The way she eats, talks, and acts around my brother is just pathetic, I really don't know what he sees in her. The second thing you should know about him is that he always is making fun of me and even though he tries to help me with schoolwork I truly believe my parents are paying him for it. The last thing you should know about my brother is that he was adopted, just kidding although I wish. I was going to say he always is sneaking out for parties and even though mom and dad know they just don't care. They treat him like a God and when I do something wrong I just get backlash from the whole family. Anyways that's my brother and even though I don't like him I have to love him because he is family. I'm really not saying that I hate my family, all I'm saying is that I should get respect from them cause I've been struggling with problems in school and life and I need someone to talk to. It's hard when you don't have anybody because you make it seem like nobody wants you and loves you. But maybe there is someone who loves me but I just don't know who. When people ask that question which I really hate "do you have a boyfriend?", I respond with a simple " no, but Derek has a crush on me" which is true. Derek is the type who you really want to stay away from. I would never go out with him and I really wouldn't even talk to him, he is annoying and my parents love him of course. So if you want to know why I haven't dated any guy yet it's because I don't want to make a commitment to anyone. And I especially don't want to be like my brother. But it doesn't mean I wouldn't date a guy, but don't think I would date Derek. Oh and of course there's the whole gay thing going around which is fine but like why would anybody ever go out with somebody the same as them and you know what I mean. I would never, I mean me and my friend always joke about it but honestly, no that's not for me. Ok I really don't mean to offend these types of people and I truly support them. A secret that nobody knows is that Jessica is gay and she doesn't tell anybody because she's scared, She believes that if she told her parents or her friends they would all hate her. And this all combines into my introduction statement which is the world is a bad place. The other night I actually called Jessica after she told me about her being gay and she was crying, her parents kicked her out. Since then I've let her stay in my house and because my parents support her we basically been keeping her at our house like she is our family.