If She Was Real

Chp. 6 Three Months

Why did I have to wake up? It was so unreal, the way she kissed me, the way she even held me close near her. Even though it wasn't real, I tried to understand what it was that was keeping me away from a reality versus this dream. Was I really gay and into girls. If so, What's the big deal. If my dreams were just an awkaening to make me me understand that all along I was gay, why put this girl in there to make me jealous. It was sunday and all I wanted to do was go shopping with Jessica. I could see she was ignoring me for some reason. We didn't talk on the drive to the mall. When we got out of the car I thanked my mom but started to yell at Jessica. She became furious and argued back with me about how I never tell her anything anymore. I became unresponsive but more mad because she didn't know I was having a better life in my dream. I told her angrily that she should tell me whenever she is leaving "my house". We kept arguing in the parking lot. At one point I even told her that I wished she never started to live with me and my family. She got so annoyed and she walked faster. I kept stumbling because I was so mad. I yelled at her from a distance. That's the last thing I said. Something happened to me, I really don't know. Even though my vision became blurry, I heard sirens and people crying. Jessica was on the phone in tears. I looked down at my whole body, blood everywhere, at that moment, I went into shock and passed out. Waking up, I found myself in this lonely dark room with just the radio on, listening to my favorite song. It was all sad and I was hurting inside and out. I was strapped to the monitor, but it was like I could take it off and run out. Looking beside me on the desk... flowers, the kind I like. From who though? and why? All these questions in my head got me tired again. I got off the bed and dragged myself to the chair with my stuff. A noise startled me from behind, it was her. I was having a dream again, "hey I heard what happened and wanted to see how you were doing", what was she talking about, what happened to me? I asked her to see what she would say. "Well for starters I've never seen anyone argue with a friend like that and after that you got hit by that car and you went into a coma". I started to laugh because that's funny although I remember fighting with Jessica but Maybe I did pass out, who knows. I started to feel sick and hurting more. She grabbed me and spoke gently "you know you shouldn't be out of bed" she helped me back onto the bed "here, you should get some rest, i'll visit you tomorrow". I just thanked her and went back to sleep. From that dream every day she came back to visit me but it was still not real and it wouldn't last long. But somehow there was something about the dream that got me into thinking about reality. When she said that she had seen me fighting with Jessica which was weird because it actually happened, so what if she was really there, and what if I can actually meet her? This was the moment I got super happy I couldn't breathe. At first I was taking it as a joke, but now it was like it could actually be real and maybe she is someone who lives nearby. I was so confused but excited to get out of the hospital. I kept thinking about her and it was not a dream but the other stuff was a dream. Days went by without anyone to talk to, but she came to visit often. I had to take time to come up with what I wanted to say to Jessica when I wake up, cause I had to apologize someway. We had been friends for years and now that this happened it was like I didn't know myself at all. She was right though, I took my dream to real and that's all I wanted to think about was the girl in my dream. There was one thing that was special about me and Jessica, and I never wanted to lose her as my friend.