If She Was Real

Chp. 4 Strangers

Ok I'm trying to process everything but I'm still tired and I don't know what just happened. I'm confused and I had to tell Jessica what happened in my dream last night. Too late, she was gone and probably went to a movie with her friends. So I decided to tell mom. Fortunately she was downstairs in the kitchen still upset or whatever and I sat down at the table staring at her to get her attention. Words circled around in my head on what to say. The dream was like real life. Before last night all my dreams were fantasies with boys and stuff. My personal life was in this dream but also it was a little creepy when everyone stared at me. "Sweetie, is there anything you need?", mom had asked me while not looking at me, I ended up asking her if we were ever having a party and if our neighbors would be at it. She was definitely thinking that I really wanted a party but she ended up telling me that we could have one but it would be for my graduation which was in a couple of months. That conversation was so weird, I had seen the tears in her eyes still from yesterday. She was happy but the divorce was going to be hard. Because it was a Saturday, I knew that I would be home alone, so I decided to watch some romantic movies or horror stuff. I don't care what I did, I just wanted to stop thinking about that dream. I was so bored that I decided to write a little story about the dream, trying to picture that girl and what would happen if she was real. I wrote this huge sentence that kept describing her as if in some way she was sitting next to me, on top of me, kissing me, holding my hand and smiling. She was so perfect and she made me somehow smile. I got sad again because she wasn't here and she wasn't real. She was an image that I pictured to be real. I had to make a name for her, but what could it be? I kept thinking lindsey but that was too girly for her, but I did end up calling her a name that I had heard of when I went to a dance class: Amanda (not the name for her),The girl that would change the way I dreamed forever I hoped. Saturday night was the worst night ever, dinner was lonely, movie night was done for me, my brother laughing over and over again, I was going crazy thinking about every little sound and thought. Mom walked in and went to bed, my brother never showed up till later on, I went to bed, It happened again, and this time I never wanted to wake up, this dream was perfect.